Home Blog Page 1323

Peak Week – Feb. 25, 2013

By
Peak Web
-
0

Eats

Sean Heather, owner of such Vancouver food establishments as Judas Goat, the Salty Tongue, and Bitter, has recently added Ranier Provisions to his list of successes. Newly opened, Ranier is located on the historic and highly-coveted corner of Carrall and Cordova. Ranier Provision’s main purpose is in gathering all the things that Heather’s other locations do best and putting them in a retail format. Pop in for some coffee from Stumptown Coffee Roasters, ice cream from Ernest Ice Cream, or locally raised sausages from Moccia Urbani.

Beats

Prepare yourself for the Squamish Valley Music Festival by attending the launch at the Commodore, featuring Yukon Blonde and Diamond Rings. On March 1, organizers will announce the upcoming festival’s performers with a concert and party. If you’re a festival junkie, this is a good chance to get an early taste of what’s to come this spring and summer season.

Theats

Spaghetti Unchained! Sergio Leone, Sergio Corbucci, and the Splendours of the Spaghetti Western is coming to The Cinematheque. Beginning on March 1 and running throughout the month, The Cinematheque will be offering a steaming platefull of Spaghetti Westerns, including A Fistful of Dollars, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and Django. If you’ve never laid eyes on a Spaghetti Western before, you should definitely take the opportunity to check one of these out. Expect revenge-plots and operatic dramatics.

Elites
The Vancouver Public Library will be hosting a selfpublishing fair on March 3. If you’ve always been interested in having one of your manuscripts published, but were always too nervous to send it in to a publisher, you should consider doing it yourself. The day will consist of panel discussions and presentations
on the business of book publishing, and will include workshops on editing skills, how to market yourself, and the business aspects of selfpublishing. There will also be printing, binding, cover design, software, and book production vendors on site.

Treats
If you’re one of those people that enjoy thrift shopping, you’ll be happy to know that Value Village is having a 50 per cent off sale on Feb. 25. This is a great chance to go and spend hours sorting through worn blouses and wool coats and find those one-of-a-kind gems that can only be found at second-hand stores. Running all day, the sale is the perfect opportunity to prepare for the coming of spring. Donate those things gathering dust in your closet, and trade them in for hand-painted flower pots or a straw sun hat.

Pidgin pleases taste buds

By
Peak Web
-
0

the peak pidgin

Newly opened on the DTES, Pidgin is worth the visit

By Ljudmila Petrovic
Photos by Patrick Lui / TTLui Photography

Pidgin just opened up on 350 Carrall St. amidst anti-gentrification protests. It is the latest in a string of trendier restaurants and bars that are opening up on the edges of the DTES; Pidgin is especially close to the heart of things, sitting directly across from the infamous Pigeon Park. Because I am a passionate activist for the DTES, I must first clear up that I am strongly opposed to the gentrification that is taking over the area. My moral conflict aside, I cannot rest until I say: go to Pidgin. Just do it.

Everything about Pidgin is done with both quality and simplicity; it is served impeccably without being pretentious. The design of the restaurant is fresh and classy, but the atmosphere is comfortable — perfect for after-work drinks and snacks. I highly recommend sitting at the bar, because all the bartenders and servers are extremely knowledgeable and I guarantee you will become fast friends (though I may be a little too social for my own good).

Their cocktail list is immaculate: the taste is the only thing that beats the aesthetics of the drink. My personal favorites were the Mary Ellen Smith (gin, carbonated sake, lime, and cucumber juice) and the Savage Butcher (tequila, falernum, and chili water). The latter appealed to me because you really feel the burn, but if you’re more inclined to a sweeter cocktail, go for the Earl of Granville (tequila, cardamom cachaca, and egg white) or the Deighton (scotch, raspberry cranberry pepper, port, and rosemary).

The drinks tend to be in the $11–13 range, with the priciest being the Van Horne (bourbon, honey ginger, and carbonated jasmine tea) — recommended by our bartender — at $13.50. A must-have is their soju — a distilled Korean rice liquor that resembles a sweet vodka — that’s brewed in Langley. It’s surprisingly refreshing and palate-cleansing.

In terms of the food, Chef Makoto Ono’s menu is perfect. We started with the creamy sea urchin topped with cauliflower mousse, ponzu jalapeno salsa,
and dashi ($11). I thought that was good, but then we were served the cured steelhead with Asian pear, ginger, and sesame ($19). If you like sashimi, the latter takes it to the next level. Do not miss the foie gras on rice, served with chestnuts, daikon, and an unagi glaze ($20).

It comes with a dab of horseradish on the side, is grown locally and made to order, and it will blow your mind if you’re a fan of horseradish. A heads-up: it’s super spicy, in the best way possible.

For vegetarians out there, there are still some delicious options. Skeptically, I only tried one (the mushrooms with sugar snap peas, egg, and soy yuzu brown butter), and I didn’t regret a single bite. The bartender told us to pay attention to the texture as we ate; he was absolutely spot-on.

The crowning moment for my taste buds was the beef tongue and cheek, topped with broccoli pistou and mustard ($22). If you’re going to get any dish, it’s this one. As my new best friend at the bar worded it: “If it had a bone, it would be falling off of it.” Again, he has yet to be mistaken.

The concept behind Pidgin is simple elegance, and a fusion between Asian tastes and French plating. You will not regret a visit here: the food, cocktails, and atmosphere all collide to make a pleasant outing.

Victoria's first-ever youth poet laureate

By
Peak Web
-
0

Law hopes to inspire youth through poetry

By Jennifer Boychuck

VICTORIA (CUP) — Whether or not she expected it, Aysia Law is Victoria’s first-ever youth poet laureate, as well as the first in Canada. “[It’s] terrifying, but it’s also a pretty big honour,” says Law, a second-year UVic Creative Writing student.

Law, who is already an active member of Victoria’s spokenword community, was selected from 32 applicants to serve as an ambassador for Victoria’s youth. The criteria Law was judged on included leadership, experience, innovative project ideas and, of course, the quality of her poetry. Her task is to complete projects that will engage her peers through poetry. She will also perform at city council and City of Victoria Youth Council meetings. “I’m excited to actually start working on the ideas we have,”
says Law. “There are two big ideas that I’d really like see happen — I
can’t speak too much about the first, but for the second project, I’m really hoping we can work on a diversity slam.”

Poetry slams are competitions in which poets perform their original work. Law hopes to make the diversity slam a regular event. “I’m hoping it won’t be a onetime thing, but that it can be ongoing. I want to bring in lots of
different marginalized voices — and not just youth, but especially youth to come and speak about what they see and what they think our community needs,” says Law. Throughout her life, poetry has carried different meanings for Law.

“If you’d asked me five years ago, I would’ve told you that poetry was everything to me. Now, thanks to school, poetry is a bit more businesslike. I’m trying to rediscover it . . . through this position,” says Law. “In high school, it was pretty much what kept me alive.” Then, in 2009, her father passed away.

“I stopped writing, and I don’t really know why, because often writing is what helps people in emotional situations — but I just stopped,” says Law. “Then, when I was attending Douglas College in 2010, I decided to take an introduction to poetry class, and it got me writing again. It reinitiated
everything. So now I’m still trying to figure out what I can do with [poetry] and what my limits are within it.”

Law says she applied for the youth poet laureate position on a whim and didn’t expect to be chosen.

“I guess the part of me that applied was sort of half hoping that it would happen, but part of me was a lot more comfortable with thinking that I just wouldn’t get it,” she says. One of Law’s biggest challenges will be to address and reverse some of the stereotypes attached to poetry.

“I think, at least when I was in high school, to youth, poetry was this boring, stuffy thing that you did in English class — but you didn’t want to be there and it just wasn’t fun. I’m hoping that, by being able to involve youth in poetry and spoken word performance poetry, maybe I can change their minds about that — that maybe they’ll realize poetry is actually fun and urban and cool and hip — all of these things that they don’t think it is.”

In her own poetry, Law strives to entertain and “get a message out.” She has found it particularly rewarding to work with Carla Funk, a poet and sessional instructor in UVic’s Writing Department.

“[Funk] is an amazing poet and a really great professor. She makes poetry fun and interesting and everything that I want to make it for high school
students. You can tell she loves [poetry] so much that she just wants to share it with everyone, and so seeing that sort of re-inspired me,” says Law. Above all else, Law sees poetry as a vehicle for change.

“Youth are the next people in line, you know? And if we can open their minds now and teach them how to communicate with each other — and I think poetry is a really good way to do that — then we’ll have a generation of more open-minded and open-hearted people,” says Law. “If you have a message and an audience who is willing to listen to you, then you’re more likely to change people with your words.”

My Bloody Valentine returns

By
Peak Web
-
0

the peak my bloody valentine

Highly anticipated m b v suggested there’s more to come

By Max Hill

m b v, My Bloody Valentine’s first full-length release in 22 years, might never escape the gargantuan shadow cast by its enduring, influential predecessor, Loveless. Naturally, it’s impossible to review the former without mentioning the latter: countless die-hard shoegazers, PBR drinkers and record store junkies have spent decades waxing poetic over the seemingly distant possibility of Kevin Shields and company releasing an album that could match the effortless brilliance of the band’s 1991 magnum opus.

Finally, that day has come, and although m b v doesn’t quite live up to the spectacular heights of Loveless, it is a terrific record, one that pays its respects to the bare bones of the band’s previous catalogue
while pushing the boundaries of their sound into new, uncharted territory.

The album opens with “She Found Now”, a hazy makeout-mixtape ballad that coos softly from behind a curtain of waxy, nostalgic guitars. The band’s sound is immediately recognizable; Shields trusts that m b v already has its audience, and he doesn’t waste a second, immersing listeners in the dreamy soundscapes My Bloody Valentine are so known and loved for. “Only Tomorrow” and “Who Sees You” sound like Loveless tracks from the cutting room floor in the best possible sense, and the warm familiarity of co- vocalist Bilinda Butcher’s whispered alto should comfort fans weary that the band might have lost the ethereal quality which has kept their catalogue in constant rotation.

“Is This and Yes” and “If I Am” display the band’s forays into new ground: the former being an atmospheric mood piece heavily inspired by ambient and electronica, and the latter groovy and full of misplaced longing and lust. “New You”, the closest thing on the album to a potential single, reminds us of Shields’ ability to weave an intoxicating melody through a patchwork of blurred synths.

The album’s standout track, “In Another Way,” is unlike anything My Bloody Valentine has ever done: rather than openended and sprawling, the track is heavy, energetic and contained. This sound is further explored in “Nothing Is,” which is more like a military march than a pop song.

“Wonder 2”, the album’s closer, collapses in on itself in a remarkably messy, self-destructive fashion, as Shield’s experimental tendencies lead to a darker and rawer sound than any track found on 1989’s Isn’t Anything.

m b v’s gradual musical slope from the warmly familiar to the breathtakingly new showcase a band remarkably unfazed by the unbelievable hype surrounding their often-promised but rarely-believed reunion. Shields manages to both satisfy old fans and court new ones, all while reminding the musically inclined why we fell for him in the first place. While m b v only occasionally reaches the heights at which 1991’s Loveless soars unabashedly, it still feels worth the wait, not only because it proves that My Bloody Valentine are still capable of making beautiful,
meaningful art, but also because it suggests that they’re likely to make even more, and in ways we have yet to see.

SFU splits road games

By
Peak Web
-
0

WEB-lacrosse-Rylee Spivak

SFU lacrosse bounces back with win, after close loss on the road

By Bryan Scott
Photos by Rylee Spivak

The 22nd-ranked Simon Fraser’s men’s lacrosse team hit the road last week to battle their Pacific Northwest Collegiate Lacrosse League rivals, the seventh-ranked University of Oregon Ducks, and then traveled further south to face the 25th-ranked Chico State Wildcats.

SFU and Oregon have been bitter rivals for many years. In fact, in the 16 PNCLL championships that have happened since 1997, SFU has won eight and UO has won seven. Needless to say, this game was a barn-burner.

Despite a slow, nervous start for both teams, six goals were scored in the opening frame. Oregon struck first when attackman Matt Johnson buried the ball past SFU goaltender Darren Zwack. Luckily, SFU’s Andrew Branting scored to tie the game with an outside rip shortly after.

After Oregon scored to take the lead, 2–1, Johnson scored his second of the game to double the Duck’s lead. SFU attackman Colton Dow cut the lead to one when he dunked a pass from Sam Clare on the crease. But before the quarter had run out, Johnson completed his hat-trick, and the Clan trailed 4–2.

The second quarter pace was slower than the first. Zwack managed to keep all but two balls out of the net, but Clare was the only one to score for SFU, and they hit the locker rooms down by three. SFU flew out of the locker room with a purpose, they looked more together and had a calm approach to their task. Dow got them on the board early, only to have Oregon respond with one of their own, keeping the lead at three, 7–4.

They didn’t give up, and were rewarded with back-to-back goals. First, Branting scored his second of the game, and then Brendan Farell scored to cut the lead to just one, meaning that SFU trailed by only one heading into the final 15 minutes of the game.

Unfortunately, the Ducks found the back of the net first in the fourth quarter, restoring the two goal lead.

The hostility picked up when Ward Spencer took a pass from Eric Ransom, and made no mistake putting it past the Oregon goalie. The Ducks answered right back once again, but the Clan kept their heads up and refocused on the next draw. Oregon took an undisciplined flag, which allowed Ransom to take a feed from Spencer and launch a rocket through the goalie’s legs.

SFU won the next face-off and took over what would be the last possession of the game. However, the Duck’s defense was too stingy that night, and the Clan lost their first game of the season, 9–8. SFU needed to be more efficient with their shots, as they slung 48 shots towards the net, including a 31–12 advantage in the second half. Mark Hilker and Riley Wanzer held down the loose ball category for SFU picking up seven each. Next, the Clan headed to try and tame the Wildcats in front of their home fans. Once again, SFU allowed their opposition to score the first goal of the game. Dow tied the game before the end of the first quarter, and assisted on Ransom’s second quarter goal to give the Clan a 2–1 lead.

After Chico State tied the game at two, Dow made a great pass to Travis Hayes who buried it for another Clan lead. They held that lead until the buzzer sounded to end the first half.

The see-saw battle continued into the second half. The Wildcats tied the game at three, but SFU reclaimed the lead on Lyndon Knuttila’s first collegiate goal, which was assisted by Hayes. After Chico State tied the game for the third time, Clare took a pass from Branting and rifled a shot past the goaltender. His goal ended up being the winning one as the Clan defensive unit shut the door in the final quarter.

SFU added three more goals in the fourth to take their third win in seven days, 8–4 over the Wildcats. Zwack made nine saves in the effort, and was clutch when he needed to be. Dow and Clare led the team with three points each. With only four goals against, it ties the all-time record against ranked opponents, which was set last year against Illinois.

SFU’s head coach Brent Hoskins was satisfied with the road win. “This trip built a lot of character for us early in our season,” commented Hoskins after the game, “so it was important to grind one out versus Chico State.” He was impressed by his team’s ability to stick with it until the final buzzer. “Ultimately this was a great learning experience, and we felt like we grew a lot as a team over the course of tonight’s game,” he finished.
The Clan are 3–1 on the year, but have yet to play any opponent from their PNCLL north division.

SFU topples two GNAC rivals

By
Peak Web
-
0

SFU maintains second place with two conference wins

By Bryan Scott

After an up-and-down week, SFU’s women’s basketball team was ready to get back to a bit of roll as the season heads down to the wire.

They had two important conference games. First on the road against the Montana State University Billings Yellowjackets, then they headed home to face the Central Washington University Wildcats. MSUB was not ready for the Clan to start the game and allowed SFU to take a 17–9 lead over the first 10 minutes. The Yellowjackets responded over the remainder of the half, but SFU still had a six-point lead at halftime. Once again, SFU dominated the first minutes of the half.

They opened up an 18-point lead, with help from a 17–5 run. The Yellowjackets tried to get back in the game, but it was too much to overcome, SFU took the game 61–55.

Nayo Raincock-Ekunwe was a dominating force, she scored 21 points and snagged
21 rebounds. Her double-double total for the season is putting Tim Hortons to shame. Erin Chambers knocked down 21 points of her own in the win. SFU started out their game against the Wildcats impressively, not allowing them to score
a point for almost five minutes. After falling down by nine points, CWU picked up their game a bit, and managed to cut the lead to only five by halftime, 31–26. Unfortunately for the Wildcats, SFU never gave up the lead.

The Clan kept up with them, despite being outscored 28–24 in the paint and 17–4 off the bench in the second half. In the end, SFU enjoyed a seven-point victory, 67–60.

Raincock-Ekunwe fell three assists short of a triple-double but provided her usual doubledouble with 19 points and 10 rebounds. Kristina Collins chipped
in 16 points and six assists, and Chelsea Reist had 15 points. These two important wins give the Clan some breathing room in the standings, as they now have two more conference wins than third place Northwest Nazarene. The latest win was also head coach Bruce Langford’s 299th collegiate win, bringing him very close to reaching a great milestone in his career.

Clan drop two more

By
Peak Web
-
0

SFU continue to slump as season end fast approaches

By Bryan Scott

As basketball season is winding down, SFU’s men’s basketball team finished off their home schedule, and then shipped off to Alaska for a pair of games last week.

The first game of the week was also the final home game for the Clan. In honour of this, they celebrated senior players: Anto Olah, Matt Raivio and Tallon Milne before they took the court against the Saint Martin’s Saints. It took a few possessions from both teams to warm up and get the ball moving. After the Clan tied the game at a bucket apiece, SMU decided to go a bit of a run. They scored the next six points on their way to an eventual 10 point lead seven minutes into the game.

SFU was getting good opportunities around the rim but they had trouble finishing the play and getting the points. They were outscored 22–14 in the paint in the first half, and trailed 41–30 when the halftime buzzer sounded.

The Clan managed to cut the difference to eight over the first four minutes of the second half, but that is as close as they got. SFU was much better in the paint in the second half, and out-rebounded SMU, but it was the Saints who kept putting points on the board. The game ended 80–60 for SMU.

Olah did all he could in his final career home game scoring 19 points and contributed seven rebounds. Raivio was also solid, knocking down 10 points. Olah reflected on his time at school in a press release after the game, “I love it at SFU.”

The Clan headed north for their next battle, taking on the Alaska Anchorage Seawolves in Anchorage. They started the game with an 11–5 run, before the Seawolves eventually tied it at 13 a few minutes later.

AAU outplayed the Clan to finish the half with help from a 12–3 run to give them a 32–19 lead with just over five minutes to play in the first half. SFU could not gain enough traction and were behind 44–26 heading into the locker rooms, and left themselves a high mountain to climb in the second half if they wanted to get the win.

SFU worked hard in the second half but could only make up eight points on the Seawolves by the end of the game. At one point, they closed the gap to nine thanks to a 20–10 run, but it was not enough. Olah led the team once again with 20 points.

SFU can't find the win column

By
Peak Web
-
0

SFU lose in a shootout on the road, can’t rebound at home

By Andrew Jow

The Simon Fraser University Clan hockey team faced the Trinity Western University Spartans in a home-and-home series as the two clubs faced off for the last time this season. SFU had gotten the better of TWU in their last three matchups, but could not count on the last-place Spartans to go down without a fight.

The first game took place at TWU’s home rink, the Langley Events Centre. SFU took the lead early on a Brenden Silvester rocket, but TWU answered
50 seconds later on an easy tap in for Mattias Schmitt. The Clan’s Nick Sandor and Jono Ceci responded by scoring on two separate rushes. SFU
caught TWU’s defense out of position and made them pay. Spartan defenseman Jake Harcoff finished off a long first period with a goal for TWU. The goal was a result of some great pressure, which brought the home team within a goal after of the Clan after the first 20 minutes.

Trinity Western tied the game up and eventually took the lead one minute into the second, thanks to Schmitt and Matthew Ius. They capitalized off of a failed clearing attempt and a botched 2-on-2 by SFU’s defense. Things were soon tied when SFU defenseman Kale Wild jumped in on the rush and finished off a perfectly executed 3-on-1.

The TWU lead was restored on a late power play as Ius muscled home his second goal of the game. TWU carried much of play in the period as the Spartans proved they were not pushovers.

The Clan ran into some penalty trouble to begin the third, but two consecutive kills gave SFU the momentum. Trevor Milner tied the back-and-forth game as he deftly tipped in a Kale Wild point shot that sent the game into overtime tied 5–5.

SFU had the best chance in the extra frame as Christopher Hoe found Joey Pavone open in the high slot, but TWU goaltender Harry Fredeman turned Pavone’s wrister away. A shootout was needed to determine the victor.

Fredeman and SFU goaltender Evan Kurylo were solid, they turned away 11 out of 12 shooters. The lone scorer was TWU’s Chris Harano, which gave the Spartans the 6–5 victory. The second game between the two clubs took place
Saturday night at Bill Copeland Arena. SFU looked to bounce back strong after the tough loss in Langley.

Although SFU started strong, it was the visiting Spartans who scored first. SFU’s defensive zone meltdowns allowed TWU to score three unanswered goals credited to Cody Stephenson, Matt Chaput and Ius, who buried wide-open tap-ins at the goalmouth.

Ius’s marker was particularly frustrating for SFU, because he got credited for a Taylor Swaffield clearing attempt that hit goaltender Graham Gordon’s foot and trickled in. Captain Hoe finally put his team on the
board. He made no mistake of a great pass from Brenden Silvester.

In the first and second periods, Coach Mark Coletta changed his strategy from the night before. In the second game, SFU used the dump and chase rather than skating the puck out wide as they did the night before. Early in the second, the strategy worked as SFU set up down low, which put a lot of pressure on the Spartans’ defense.

But after 15 minutes of pressure, the Clan had nothing to show for their efforts. To make matters worse, TWU’s Stephenson found yet another loose puck in front of SFU’s net, and buried his second goal of the night. SFU’s Taylor Oak got one back, but SFU was down two heading into the third.
The final frame was TWU goaltender Harry Fredeman’s period. Two consecutive TWU penalties gave SFU an opportunity to tie this one up, but
Fredeman was not to be beaten, and TWU hung on for the 4–2 victory.

The Clan’s leading scorer, Ben Van Lare, and some key defensemen were not dressed for the series. SFU will need to put these two games behind them as first-place Selkirk College makes the trip to Burnaby next week for a showdown of the top two teams in the BCIHL.

GNAC success for Clan

By
Peak Web
-
0

SFU pulls off four titles on the track at conference championship

By Bryan Scott

Both the men’s and the women’s Simon Fraser track and field teams were in Nampa, Idaho last week to compete in the 2013 Great Northwest Athletic Conference championships.

As expected the women’s distance medley team consisting of Helen Crofts, Lindsey Butterworth, Michaela Kane, and Chantal Desch were spectacular. They demolished everyone else in the field and finished with a time of 11:47.86, beating the second-place Alaska Anchorage by nine seconds. They
are now ranked number two in the entire NCAA division II.

The women’s 4×400-metre relay team also won their event. The team is similar to the long distance medley, but Sarah Sawatzky ran instead of Butterworth. They broke their own meet record from 2011, with a time of 3:48.36. Butterworth was busy in her individual mile race; she was SFU’s
first individual champion of the weekend. She beat her 2012 championship time by nine seconds, with a time of 4:58.09.

Crofts was another member of the Clan that was able to repeat her championship , winning the 800-metre race after also winning it in the 2011 season. Her time was 2:12.29. Kane and Sawatzky finished second and fourth respectively in the same race.

Andrea Abrams was impressive in the 60-metre hurdles, finishing third in the event with a personal best time of 8.88. On the men’s side, Stuart Ellenwood had the best performance finishing the 400-metre in a time of 50.23. Cameron Proceviat ran his best indoor 800-metre and finished seventh overall.

In the field, Kim Neville- Rutherford came in fourth place in high jump with a jump of 1.61 metres, and Jade Richardson finished sixth in shot put. The only man in the field for SFU was Luca Molinari who placed ninth in the weight throw event with a toss of 14.01 metres. “This weekend was extremely successful for us, and we had a lot of athletes run personal
best times,” said Head Coach Brit Townsend in a press release after the championships. “That is all we can ask for from our athletes, and the coaches and I are very happy.”

Dear Doctor Bryce!

By
Peak Web
-
0

Is it okay to drink Palm Bay at times that are not during the day?

Sincerely,
Palm Bay Shame

Dear PBS,

You appended to your query a YouTube video of white people being assholes in a pool and rapping clumsily about how it’s fine to drink Palm Bay during the daytime, but not after 4 p.m. because that’s “gay.” If you feel these people are acceptable drinking role models — as opposed to Ernest Hemingway, Billie Holiday, or your “fun uncle” who drives a Camaro — then do whatever you want. Stick a 151-soaked tampon up your ass, for all I care.

But for those who are serious about drinking in the daytime, I offer the following guidance. The problem with drinks like Palm Bay is that their sugar content is similar to Coca-Cola or beer. Drinking a six-pack of these party pops before lunch will leave you crashing by midafternoon.
Not everyone who needs alcohol to face life’s incomprehensible cruelties can spend all day on a bench in the park. Some of us have an image
to maintain, pay cheques to earn or kids to look after. Liberal doses of water (one cup water per ounce hard bar) and coffee (as much as necessary) will keep you humming during the daylight hours. Carry antacids with you to fight the inevitable reflux that will develop as a result of this method.

Shots of hard bar are a traditional means of keeping your hands steady until happy hour. A bar veteran I once knew recommended stashing a fifth of Stoli in the freezer as a refreshing pre-breakfast cure for the shakes. Vodka is also famously scentless and easy to conceal, although it does not completely lack odour. Any hard liquor will do as long as you can keep it hidden from your boss, spouse, etc. Consider investing in a flask. Fisherman’s Friends work better than breath mints or gum
to cover the smell.

Dilute the hard stuff with mixers if you must, but make sure the liquids complement each other. Brown liquors work well with cola, Sprite or iced tea. They can also be mixed into hot drinks. Stick to diet soda to avoid the aforementioned sugar slump. Vodka or gin plus water in a Nalgene bottle lets you carry Dutch courage wherever life takes you — even to the gym.

Maintaining hard liquor discipline during the morning and afternoon will keep the world in soft focus without sacrificing your energy levels
and alertness. Once your daily duties are dispatched and you’re settling down in your favourite haunt, feel free to tuck into high-calorie fare like beer and wine. Enjoy — you’ve earned it.

In accordance with by-law C-36: The Peak is legally required to inform you Doctor Bruce is not a doctor.

By Bryce Warnes
With files from the Ubyssey

1...1,3221,3231,324...1,443Page 1,323 of 1,443

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society