By: Michelle Young, Copy Editor
There’s lots to be said about how mothers and women take on extra caretaking: from women’s recent entry into a paid workforce, gendered expectations, to the misconception that women are “naturally” better caretakers than men. However, there’s little evidence that this is true. On a biological level, men respond just as well as women when it comes to caretaking.
It’s time we set aside our preconceived notions: men are competent caretakers, and acknowledging this helps everyone.
When women are assumed to be better caretakers than men, what message does that send to single fathers raising their kids? That they aren’t as good as mothers who may not be present? What about gay men raising a child in a loving environment? It’s harmful to suggest that one person is better suited to care for another based on pseudoscientific ideas of biology. Maternal instinct, for example, is an exaggerated concept, and viewed as “largely a myth,” with studies showing that it can take weeks or months for mothers to feel affection for their babies. So, when women are viewed as more capable caretakers than men, what message does it send to women who struggle to care for their children?
My parents are divorced, and I grew up between the hands of my mother, father, and stepfather. Their behaviour was not determined by biology. Though my mom got her fair share of taking care of me as a child, there were times where I was left with my father or stepfather while she worked. It’s in these moments that the absurdity of biological determinism is revealed: my fathers were never neglectful, they played dolls with me, cleaned up my wounds when I fell at the park, and comforted me when I had nightmares. My mother may have the ability to create countless meals out of a few ingredients, but this is not because she is a woman — it’s because she’s had the time and experience to hone her cooking skills. I am extremely grateful to have this network of people who love me, and I can confidently say that no parent is lesser than the other. Everyone is unique.
Men have the ability to step up. Many of them do and are good at it! Caretaking can take many forms: staying at home, cooking, cleaning, driving, or other daily tasks that support a family or another person. According to Statistics Canada, men are being more involved with their loved ones. Not only should the streak continue, but we should strive for a society that increasingly accepts men as caretakers.
