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SFU’s niche clubs help students find theirs

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CMYK-Clubs Days-Mark Burnham

Thomas Hobbes described the life of man as “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” Despite being somewhat overused, this quote does posit important questions about our society: if man is so solitary in nature, why is he so eager to collaborate with his peers?

Some might point to the hierarchical structure embedded in clubs. From a Western perspective, the oldest organized clubs were the fraternal orders created during the crusades. Medieval guilds accomplished that which the individual could not: to control the practice of their craft and protect their working rights in a particular town while safeguarding their place in their particular community.

From a more modern perspective, the oldest club is Freemasonary, whose current incarnation dates back to 1717. This club is strictly structured, complete with secret passwords, governing bodies, and member ranks. This sense of rank and position decided by membership lingers in our modern society. One sees it mirrored in the initiation processes of today’s fraternities and country clubs, whose members also possess a certain clout merely by being accepted.

This being said, there is one key, overriding reason why human beings join clubs, and that is because we are social animals. Perhaps Hobbes is unnecessarily misanthropic, or perhaps we fear and recognize the prospect of his quote and work to change our nature. Either way, the same conclusion is reached.

Somewhat rejecting the hierarchical nature or the elitist tendencies of the past, SFU clubs — be they ethnic clubs, debate clubs, or geek clubs — are attracting members not because of a desire for esteem, but because those involved genuinely want to meet people with similar interests.

There are endless niche clubs at SFU that exist purely for the love of San Guo Sha, or crafting, or East Asian chess, and while it’s next to impossible to talk about all of them in one column, here’s a look at several that might make your next trip to campus more enjoyable.

For the stargazers among us, why not set your sights on the Astronomy Club. For “anyone interested in astronomy, cosmology, and the universe in general,” this club can connect you with fellow would-be cosmonauts at star parties, astronomy-related movie nights, and the occasional meteor shower to boot.

If the limitless universe isn’t your cup of tea, then perhaps a real cup of tea might be better. Members of Thé SFU Tea aim to encourage and maintain the appreciation of tea in all forms, meaning this club could be your ticket to delicious treats from all around the world. With any luck, it could turn into a Zoolander Maori tribesmen moment.

From high tea to high tech, those searching out a true niche club can engage with the first university club of its kind anywhere in the world. The SFU Bitcoin Club will educate you in the emerging world of virtual currencies and the future of money, eventually hoping to make SFU the premier university for innovation by making it synonymous with Bitcoin.

Whether it’s in outer space or cyberspace, SFU students are sure to find somewhere they can feel at home on one of the university’s many campuses. Nevertheless, involvement shouldn’t end with the receiving of a diploma. Whether it means rallying with fellow radicals to protest a new high rise, or joining a gym to make new friends and pursue your passions, being an active member of your political community will mean a life that isn’t “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”

In the end, being involved with clubs is not just about turning your university experience into the best years of your life — it’s about freeing yourself to continue exploring for the rest of it.

Discovery may reveal climate change’s effect on biodiversity

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A recent study published in the Journal of Paleontology has been making international headlines with the discovery of the fossils of four new families of insects whose extinction may offer insight into how some animals respond to climate change and its effect on biodiversity.

Dr. Bruce Archibald and Dr. Rolf Mathewes, both faculty members at SFU, co-authored the study along with Dr. David Greenwood of Brandon University, Manitoba. The three have worked together as a team in the past, looking at the larger question of communities that existed long ago in what is British Columbia and northern Washington state today.

Archibald explained, “We each bring a different perspective to these things, and the greater project is to look at communities about 50 million years ago here in British Columbia and northern Washington, and how they relate to climate, how climate affected these communities, the diversity, where they lived by geography, those sorts of issues.”

When he first came to inspect the newly discovered fossils near Cache Creek, BC and Republic, Washington, Archibald immediately realized there was something exciting and new to be learned here. The fossils are of extinct scorpionflies that belong to a previously unknown families.

What interested Archibald about the fossils was the story of a family of instincts that popped up at that time, and then abruptly went extinct, a rare story in the narrative of insect evolution in the Cenozoic, the last 66 millions years since the extinction of the dinosaurs.

“In what you could call our modern era, that’s the general pattern, accumulation,” said Archibald. “There are some losses, some extinctions, but they’re kind of scattered throughout insects, they don’t really follow a pattern. But here we see with this one a very closely related family, a cluster of four family extinctions, all very closely related.”

At the time, there were six groups of closely related scorpionflies. By the end of the Eocene, an early portion of the Ceonzoic, only two remained. When it came to answering the question of why these four families didn’t make it through the era, Archibald, Mathewes, and Greenwood came up with what they believe are two strong theories: ants and climate change.

Scorpionflies are scavenging insects that feed on the remains of other insects. The research team suggests that the rise and diversification of the ant, another scavenger, may have proved too much competition for the scorpionfly families. Archibald believes it was a combination of this competition for resources as well as a change in climate that may have led to the insects’ demise.

Archibald describes southern British Columbia of 50 million years ago as a very different environment than we see today. In a world that was very warm at the time, BC and northern Washington was a cooler upland, with little variation in temperature from the hottest summer months to the coldest winter days.

“In the winter we may have seen few frost days, and that allowed organisms that today are restricted to the tropics to range right up into this region,” explained Archibald. “So, organisms which don’t necessarily require heat but can’t stand cold winters. And that’s really the big deal.”

In a previous study by Archibald and Greenwood on the biodiversity of the region during the Eocene, they found diversity comparable to a tropical rainforest in Central America, according to Archibald. “It was quite shocking to see in a cool, mid-latitude upland.”

When the global climates eventually cooled, insects there were forced to adapt, relocate to warmer climates, or go extinct. In the case of the scorpionfly, Archibald suggested that the latter may have been the fate of those four families. “Either you can adapt to where you are, or move and adapt to that, or you’re toast,” he said.

The modern variation of the scorpionfly persists in cold areas, suggesting that those families managed to adapt to the colder climates, which in turn leads to the theory that those families that went extinct just couldn’t make that leap.

Arbichald likens the extinction of the scorpionfly families to the rise of the pine beetle that has been seen in British Columbia in recent years, in terms of the effect of climate change on their populations. While the extinct scorpionflies show researchers what happens to populations when a period of global warming comes to an end, the pine beetle illustrates a community thriving due to climate change. Warmer winters and less frost in recent years have lead the pine beetle to destroy 18 million hectares of lodgepole pine in BC.

Concluded Archibald, “It helps us understand how organisms and communities change when climate does.”

Kate Middleton admits entire baby thing “one big joke’’

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SUSSEX — Shocking news coming out from the English royal household this morning as Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge —better known to the public as “Kate”— revealed the long awaited first child was in fact a nine-month hoax in order to cover up her 30 pound weight gain since marrying Prince William in 2011.

The general public are baffled as to how such a secret could have possibly been kept from the them for so long.

From various documents, it appears that all medical examinations and treatment went through one Dr. Marian Amsley the chief royal physician responsible for health of Kate and the baby. When contacted, Amsley was eager to detail the entire nine month ordeal.

“Look, I didn’t know to say . . . 9 months ago I was contacted by the royal family and told that the Duchess thought she was pregnant. I examined her and tried telling her otherwise but she was insistent.

“After the third month I just sort of went with it. If the Duchess of Cambridge says she’s pregnant, who was I to say otherwise.”

In an attempt to quell the rumors, the royal family made a rare televised statement on the BBC One, where Kate, standing beside William, explained the circumstances that led to the nearly year-long charade.

“When I married William two years ago, I knew that my life was going to be dramatically different afterward . . . I knew there would be no going back but I loved him, so we wed— but being a duchess is a fucking nightmare. ”

“Sorry, mum.” she added, giving a sideways glancing the Queen. She then returned to her media address.

“Did you know that being the Duchess of Cambridge isn’t just a title? I always thought it was just something you add onto the end of your name. That’s not true, I’m the head of the administrative, legislative judicial councils. If so much as a cloud appears over Cambridge, I get a 20-page report document detailing humidity index and wind speed on my desk stamped urgent.

“So I turned to food to cope. I figured, so what? If I helped myself to an extra blood pudding every now and again, or trifid crisp . . . ooh, or a nice bowlful of Whimpston’s Oggly-podge.

“Married people let themselves go all the time but the turning point had to be when The Sun noticed and smeared their front page “KATE’S BABY BULGE??”, pictures on Page 2’ . . . goddammit I was right pissed.

“So I went with it. I told William and he thought it was hilarious. He’s always hated the paparazzi  anyway and we figured it’d be a good way to give the fuckers what they deserve . . . again, sorry mum.”

Closing in a show of humility, Middleton bowed her head asked the people of the Commonwealth for their forgiveness toward the deception and promised to start hitting the elliptical tomorrow morning.

Note: If Kate’s had her “baby” by the time you read this, don’t be fooled!

Let them eat, period.

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Photo by Geoffrey Dudgeon

Apologies to minorities on behalf of a nation don’t mean much when the nation’s leader contradicts them in public statements shortly after; they mean even less after it becomes clear that that government, beyond abusing those minorities physically and sexually, also performed undisclosed scientific experiments on them.

This past week, news broke of Canadian food historian Ian Mosby’s confirmation that the Canadian government had been performing nutritional-based experiments on students at Indian Residential Schools between 1942 and 1952. The story continues to unfold, but as it stands, at least 1,300 students were unwittingly involved in these experiments.

Based on preliminary observations, those involved reported that “while most of the [Indigenous] people were going about trying to make a living, they were really sick enough to be . . . under treatment and that if they were white people, they would be in bed and demanding care and medical attention.”

Rather than work to improve these conditions immediately, especially for the children in Residential schools who were wards of the state, those subjected to the study had their levels of malnourishment maintained for two years to collect baseline data and then schools were denied different nutrients to measure the specific effects of malnutrition. The children were not allowed dental care, as gums and teeth were used as a means of measuring health changes.

Some have already noted the dubious ethics of science experimentation of the inter-war period. This seems like a valid point. Anecdotes I heard from my grandmother (who worked as a nurse’s aide in hospitals during this time period) affirm that what would be a breach of human rights, patient rights, etc. now was par for the course then. This would be a reminder for us not to make too much of an anachronistic reading of the situation.

Except that it’s clear the researchers knew full well that the experiment was prolonging a state of poor health, and as noted, if these same levels of poor health were observed in white communities, they would be demanding treatment — and receiving it.

Moreover, these experiments continued on four years after The Nuremberg Code was adopted. I’m not a lawyer, so I’m not sure how informed consent would work when government-supported experiments are being exacted on wards of the state, but that’s an article unto itself. Suffice to say the letters nuns made the students write thanking the government for the good care they received while at the institutions seem like a plot twist in a bizarre horror movie.

When SFU hosted Residential School Awareness Week earlier this year, a panel of Residential School survivors talked about their experiences, with two of the women involved specifically mentioning the food as part of the hell they endured, stating that to this day there are some foods they just can’t eat. One elder broke down in tears while recounting the diversity and bounty of food, and the cultural practices associated with it, that she missed while she was eating army rations at school. However, another survivor who entered the school system later than they did said she had no problem with the food.

How could a nationally run program differ so greatly from region to region? And while some school survivors indicated that life had been hard at home before they left, others seem to have left perfectly prosperous communities. If the children’s welfare was at issue, why remove students from homes that were already providing for them without financial assistance from the government?

I guess the overarching question to ask here is what else is there to know about the Indian Residential School system?

As contributor Helena Friesen pointed out in her Feb. 17 article, “Robinson rebuke reinforces negative assumptions about aboriginals,” the Canadian Government currently has 6.5 km worth of documents pertaining to its Indian Residential Schools that are currently inaccessible because they can’t create space to house them.

Yes, 6.5 km is a lot of space, but high-density library filing systems mean that we could probably house these all in one building. However, it would require going through all of the documents — really going through them all to find out what was in them, so that one could easily search through a database for every infringement of basic human rights imaginable. Or by name, location, and year, whatever.

“Canadians are entitled to know the whole story, and they’re entitled not to have it leak out to them in dribs and drabs this way,” former Prime Minister Paul Martin has said of the event. Indeed, there is no rationale behind keeping this information from the public now, especially when information like this comes to the fore. The level of secrecy that shrouds this information reeks of guilt.

Minister for Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development, Bernard Valcourt, has responded in part to this information by affirming, “When Prime Minister Harper made a historic apology to former students of Indian Residential Schools in 2008 on behalf of all Canadians, he recognized that this period had caused great harm and had no place in Canada.” I’m sorry, but a vague apology about “harm” made five years prior to this rediscovery just isn’t going to cut it.

With the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s BC-hosted week-long event fast approaching, there’s added impetus to get the ball rolling on examining the extent of these mandated abuses. The Canadian Government has starved generations of Indigenous people in so many ways: the right to land, language, family, and now, so too, it seems, food. The least they can do now is not starve us of our shared history by sequestering documents.

University Briefs

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UBC students going 
cross-Atlantic, robotically

The UBC SailBot team is planning on crossing the Atlantic Ocean with their autonomous sailboat. The venture comes on the heels of the team breaking a competition record in June  when they became the first team to achieve a perfect score at the 2013 International Robotic Sailing Regatta in Gloucester, Massachusetts.

Members are currently researching the feasibility of the goal, which includes the boat needing to make navigational decisions completely on its own, and using wind or solar power for the journey.

With files from The Ubyssey

 

“Don’t be that girl” parody ads posted on U of A campus

Parody posters of a successful anti-rape campaign in Edmonton that uses the slogan “Don’t be that guy” have popped up recently around the University of Alberta campus. The parody posters sport the slogan “Don’t be that girl,” and use the same images as the original campaign while changing the text to invert the original message.

One poster reads, “Just because you regret a one night stand, doesn’t mean it wasn’t consensual.” Lise Gotell, chair of the U of A’s department of women’s and gender studies, commented, “What’s been done to transform an anti-sexual-assault campaign into a rape-apologist campaign is just deeply offensive.”

With files from The Province

Canadian and Israeli universities to collaborate

A delegation of six Canadian university representatives — including SFU president Andrew Petter — has signed an agreement with the Association of University Heads of Israel to “facilitate, promote and support research collaboration and exchanges of faculty and students between both countries.”

The two countries already collaborate in energy, solar power, waste management and medicine sectors, and share research interests in a number of key areas, according to the Association of Universities and Colleges of Canada (AUCC). Said Josef Klafter, president of Tel Aviv University: “This should be a catalyst for cooperation between Canadian and Israeli universities.”

With files from University Affairs

SFU Career Services Twitter Q&A provides pearls of resume wisdom

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Last Tuesday, SFU Career Services held a one-hour Q&A session on Twitter about resumes and cover letters, under the hashtag #OLCchat. The chat, which was the latest installment of a series of online discussions, elicited honest questions, stories of major resume goofs, and some clear and concise answers.

General career advisor David Lindskoog, who was behind the wheel of the Career Services account for the chat, said the medium allows Career Services and the Online Learning Community to reach out to more students.  “We’ve been using various social media tools, as many student services departments have in recent years, to increase our engagement with students and alumni quite a bit, and that’s certainly become common practice in the post-secondary world,” Lindskoog said.

“Embracing social media is one of the ways we’re reaching more and different audiences than we have in years past, and we’re excited to be seeing the engagement with our ‘Twitter Tuesdays’ initiative that we have so far.” Here are the highlights from the conversation.

 

What’s the biggest resume mistake you’ve seen/made?

I accidentally sent a cover letter I wrote for a completely different company once.

>> Lizz Moffat @lizzmoffat

My name was wrong on my 1st resume. It autocorrected to “Tricycle Ducky”. I didn’t get the job + learned a lesson.
>> Trisha Dulku  @TrishaDulku

I’ve seen cover letters with incorrect facts about the company
>> Natalie @natpope412

 

What do you think of highly visual infographic type resumes?

Depends on what type of job you’re looking for. Sometimes taking a bit of a design risk can set you from the pack!
>> Sage Testini @sagetestini

Definitely risky! You have to make sure your design skill sets align with how well your info graphic resume looks like.
>> Rebecca @bex852

“@lilka321:  I once saw a resume printed on a napkin – for a hospitality type of job. It worked! :)”
>> SFU Career Services
@SFU_Career

 

What do you struggle with most when writing resumes/cover letters?

I always struggle with coming off sincere, and trying to avoid cliches.
>> Lizz Moffat @lizzmoffat

What skills/qualifications should I place in the “prime real estate” section of my resume? It changes for each position.
>> Sophie T @sophtsai

My biggest challenge is identifying what qualities from the JD I should highlight.. ie: What’s most important
>> Natalie @natpope412

I struggle w/explaining why I’m applying for the job. Usually its b/c I need money but don’t want to seem desperate
>> Trisha Dulku @TrishaDulku

Another perspective: What’s the story behind this application? Why this employer? They know u need $, so what else?
>> Dave Lindskoog @lindenforest

 

What’s your best piece of resume/cover letter advice? 

Be genuine and know what you wrote so you can speak about it if you are immediately called for an interview!
>> Jocelyn Tang @t_joce16

Always triple check your spelling. Read your resume + cover letter out loud to yourself.
>> Trisha Dulku @TrishaDulku

Know what sets you apart, and don’t write anything that doesn’t serve that purpose.
>> SFU Career Services
@SFU_Career

Students urge SFU to divest from fossil fuels

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In pursuit of a greener future at Simon Fraser University, Sustainable SFU has joined the the Fossil Free Canada campaign in an effort to convince the university to divest from oil, gas, and fossil fuel companies. The group is arguing that the plans of the fossil fuel industry are incongruous with a safe global carbon budget.

In accordance with the campaign, which was launched earlier this year by the Canadian Youth Climate Coalition, Sustainable SFU is pressuring the university to freeze all new investments in fossil fuels and to divest completely over the next 5 years.

“We think the university has a moral obligation to divest from fossil fuel companies.” said Mike Soron, Executive Director of Sustainable SFU. “We also think that it’s irresponsible. There’s more and more information coming out about how this translates into a carbon risk, and that’s essentially a liability embedded in the portfolio of our investments. These companies won’t be able to deliver the returns needed over the coming decades.”

Despite this criticism, SFU insists that they are matching fiscal prudence with awareness of current challenges. In an interview with Pat Hibbitts, Vice-President Finance and Administration at SFU, she said that SFU has consciously tried to find green investments and is working to implement the UN Principles for Responsible Investment as a keystone of its investment practices.

When planning investment strategies, SFU administration searches for investment houses and value managers whose priorities match those of the university: namely, investments with a low risk profile and potential for long-term, stable growth. However, that’s where the intervention ends.

“You don’t give [investment houses] specific direction on a stock,” said Hibbitts. “You don’t say I want to own GM or I want to own Coca Cola or McDonald’s. That’s not how it works . . . Companies that have too much risk or bad behaviour aren’t going to be a part of our investments anyway, so that’s the filter we use.”

Even though this filter may not be direct enough to please Sustainable SFU, the university insists that it must consider more than just the carbon budget when investing.

“We support research and scholarship with our investments, and we are required to earn four per cent. That’s our responsibility,” said Hibbitts. “If you can do it by moving away from a principle where you’re looking at a balance between value and growth, then yes [we would consider divestment] at some future date, but right now I don’t know how else you do it.”

Despite these considerations, Soron believes that there is economic evidence to support fossil fuel divestment.

Canada’s Carbon Liabilities report, published by the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives and written by SFU alumnus Brock Ellis, warns of an impending “carbon bubble” which researchers feel could be more harmful than the 2008 housing bubble that shook the global financial system.

Currently, Canada’s carbon budget — the maximum amount of CO2 that can be emitted in the future — is just under nine GT based on its share of world GDP (or 2.4 Gt based on share of world population). However, if one were to add up all possible reserves in Canada, they are equivalent to 1,192 GT — more than double the world’s carbon budget.

In order to keep global temperature increase to 2°C or less, 78 per cent of Canada’s proven reserves, and 89 per cent of proven-plus-probable reserves, would need to remain underground.

When these statistics are added to the fact that the remaining global carbon budget — 565 GTCO2 — is significantly smaller than the proven reserves owned by private and public companies and governments — 2,795 GTCO2 — they reveal the potential threat to SFU’s investments.

To combat this crisis, the report suggests that responsibility rests with pension funds and institutional investors to deflate the “carbon bubble.” It is this “managed retreat” from fossil fuel investments that Sustainable SFU believes SFU must be a part of.

“The university is responsible for delivering a return on the investments, not just today, but over time. They have fiduciary responsibility to future students and to employees who will be retiring 50 years from now,” said Soron. “You can’t just look at the economic environment today; you have to look at what a world two degrees warmer will require.”

Sustainable SFU is looking to bring their campaign before the Board of Directors in November, after building a bigger coalition on campus and collecting more signatures.

Peak Week July 22 – 27

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Eats

Aussie Pie Guy is Vancouver’s (only) Australian food truck. Located at Hamilton and West Georgia St., as well as at events like the Chinatown Night Market, Pie Guy offers up vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, and carnivore lover options. Check out the Aussie Pie, a classic made with chunks of free-range BC beef and organic onion made in a pepper and Howe Sound Rail Ale gravy. Or there’s the Hip Pie, a vegan and gluten-free option consisting of a mild lentil curry with organic cauliflowers and tomatoes. No matter which way to go, you’re bound to get something yummy.

Beats

This one is a different kind of beat: The Restaurant Rumble, happening on July 24, is a coming together of people from the service industry (servers, bartenders, managers, and owners) to box one another and raise funds for the East Side Boxing Gym. All proceeds will go to the re-opening of the gym and reviving its programs for local youth. The live viewing begins at 5:00 p.m., and the Aprons for Gloves after party will begin at 10:00 p.m. Tickets are $10, and seating is limited so come early!

Theats

Head over to Second Beach in Stanley Park (a short jaunt from English Bay) for an outdoor movie every Tuesday night at dusk. The Open Air Cinema series will be showing movies, chosen by various sponsors, all the way until August 27, so check the schedule to see what the choice of the week is. This week they’re showing The Breakfast Club, and in the coming weeks you can watch out for Mamma Mia!, Poltergeist, and Dirty Dancing. Showtimes usually start around 9:45 p.m., so grab a blanket and a late-night picnic and cycle over.

Elites

Project Space, a publisher, bookshop, and alternative art space located in Chinatown, is throwing a Summer Soirée on July 26. The fundraiser will support OCW Arts and Publishing Foundation (a resource for artists, writers and graphic designers who seek to publish works) and the MS Society of Canada. The evening will feature seasonal hors d’oeuvres, a photo booth by Kitty Mussallem, art installations, a silent auction (with donations from Geist, Bestie, Poetry is Dead, and more), and a cash bar. Early bird tickets are $25 and include one complimentary beverage and hors d’oeuvres.

Treats

The crew at the Arrival Agency (the creative folks behind The Waldorf) present to you the Sunday Bazaar, as a part of the Food Cart Fest. Located between Olympic Village and the Cambie Bridge, the market offers vintage goods, artisanal food stands, vinyl, art, antiques, and craftsmen products. The massive summer market will be setting up camp every Sunday between 12:00 and 5:00 p.m. until September 22. Plus, you can hit two birds with one stone by checking out some of the city’s best food carts, paired with DJs, entertainment, and a bouncy castle for those kids (at heart).

Peak Humour Announcements!

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Births

It’s a Boy! An American Citizen Boy!

Joseph Leroy Steele was born at 7 pounds on July 20, 2013, to proud parents Steve and Melinda at the Providence Holy Family Hospital, in Spokane, Washington in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. We’d like to let you know that Leroy is healthy and happy but we’d also like to apologize for putting out this announcement. We know this is self-indulgent and pointless especially since we don’t know anyone at this school or even in Canada but we just want to get this birth on record in as many places as we could in case our son ever wants to become President. He probably won’t, but just in case he does we don’t want the possibility that he was born in another country and just spent his entire life after that in the U.S. to become some big thing.

Took You Long Enough!

Susan and Tim Clarke would like to begrudgingly let you know about their future disappointment-to-the-family addition, Kyle. Not only was Kyle born a week late but he came out crying like a little bitch. Goddammit this kid is soft . . . it sure is going to be a rough 18 years! Plus, his name is Kyle, which I guess we deserve some of the blame for naming him that. But seriously, have you ever met a really successful person named Kyle? I haven’t.

Wedding Bells

John Anderson to marry three horses

John Clifford Anderson from the Vancouver area has announced his engagement to three adult male horses: Rusty, Clip-Clop and Ned. The wedding will take place on August 12, 2021, or at least this is the kind of thing that will be happening then if we don’t do anything about gay marriage. It’s not too late to repeal it, Canada! Send a letter to your MP today! As everyone knows, allowing same sex unions is just the first step before a guy marries three horses! Is this really the world you want to live in?

(This is a Paid Message from The Society for Traditional Marriages and Hyperbole)

Note: If you’ve got an announcement that you’d like featured in The Peak’s Humour section please seriously re-evaluate your life.

Theatre Under the Stars lights up summer nights

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How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

After recent successful revivals on Broadway and the popularity of Mad Men, I’m really glad Theatre Under the Stars chose this musical. Set in the 60s and following Finch (Andrew Cownden) as he tries to move up the corporate ladder, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying was an extremely enjoyable show.

With an amazing art deco inspired set and beautiful dresses and suits to fit the era, we were transported to the office of the World Wide Wicket Company as Finch moves from the mailroom all the way to Director of the Board, with a few mishaps along the way.

Meanwhile, Rosemary (Georgia Swinton) tries to get Finch to notice her; all while company owner’s nephew, Bud Frump (Victor Hunter) tries to convince his mother to convince his aunt, to convince his uncle, Mr. Biggley (Joel Wirkkunen), that he deserves a promotion.

Wirkkunen as Mr. Biggley gave a stellar performance as the moody, idiotic man whose secret hobby is knitting. Hedy (Cailin Stadnyk) was also wonderful as Biggley’s high-pitched ditzy mistress. Another highlight was the striking choreography that seemed to fit perfectly with the era and the context of the show. Both male and female ensembles were synchronised and performed with excitement.

Full of witty, relatable songs, it’s difficult to choose which were the best. “Coffee Break” was performed as the cast collapsed onto the stage and staggered around singing “If I can’t take my coffee break, something inside me dies.”

Another humorous song was “A Secretary is not a Toy,” as well as “Been a Long Day”: Smitty (Caitlin Clugston) is in the elevator with Rosemary and Finch, singing “he’s thinking . . .” and “she’s thinking . . .” as they fill in the blanks.

One of the final songs, “Brotherhood of Man,” was utterly triumphant; Biggley’s secretary Miss Jones (Jennifer Suratos) suddenly breaks into skat, demonstrating her incredible talent. The whole cast danced around, exuberantly singing “There is a Brotherhood of Man / a Benevolent Brotherhood of Man / a noble tie that binds / all human hearts and minds / into one Brotherhood of Man,” skillfully inserting “sister” at a couple points in the song.

This was a tremendously entertaining musical, and is just as relevant now as it was when it was first performed in the 60s.

 

Legally Blonde

This positively pink show about loyalty and not judging people based on their appearance was a fun, upbeat production full of laughs and catchy songs. The play, modelled after the movie by the same title, follows Elle (Breanne Arrigo) on her quest for love at Harvard Law School.

The show begins at Elle’s sorority, Delta Nu, as the girls gush over her expected proposal from her boyfriend Warner (Peter Cumins). After Warner breaks up with Elle instead of proposing, she is resolute in her plan to get into Harvard Law School and prove to him that she too can be “serious.”

Once at Harvard Elle does not fit in at all, but she soon becomes friends with the very sweet Emmett (Scott Walters) who ends up falling in love with her. Warner’s new girlfriend, the scheming Vivienne (Andrea Bailey), does everything she can to make Elle look like a fool, including inviting her to a “costume” party where Elle is the only one dressed up — in a pink playboy bunny outfit.

The iconic “Bend and Snap” scene in the salon was a highlight of the show as Elle tries to teach Paulette (her hairdresser) how to use this failsafe move to attract the UPS man that she describes as “walking porn.” The recurring song “Omigod You Guys” was also a success, sung by the Daughters of Delta Nu as they follow Elle around as her “Greek Chorus.”

When Elle secures an internship with Professor Callaghan (Warren Kimmel), they are assigned a case to defend workout video star Brooke Wyndham (Katie Murphy) who is accused of murdering her (much older and wealthier) husband. Elle realizes that Brooke is also a Delta Nu and thereby gains her trust and is able to prove her innocence without revealing her alibi.

Brooke’s song “Whipped into Shape” is wonderfully choreographed and full of skipping rope tricks and flips. In the courtroom scene, the poolboy Nikos (Daniel Cardoso) is on the stand and the song “Gay or European” breaks out to question his sexuality. This was probably my favourite song of the whole show with lines like: “Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.”

Of course Elle’s dog Bruiser is in the show as well, played by the very cute Milo. Paulette (Cathy Wilmot) also has a dog, Rufus, who is played by the adorable Béla Nicholas. The dogs received lots of cheers whenever they were on stage. Re-imagined as a Broadway show, the story retained all the drama and hilarity of the film with the addition of some great original songs.