Vegan hospitalized after potential ingestion of trace amounts of egg

VANCOUVER — A distraught vegan was submitted to Vancouver General Hospital last week claiming to be “tainted.” Zach Whitney, a 27-year-old vegan man, checked himself...

Obama challenges Assad to game of basketball for control of Syria

WASHINGTON — After watching Space Jam with his daughters Malia and Sasha over this past weekend, President Barack Obama made a public challenge to...

SFU Quidditch team torments “nerds” from SFU Wizard’s Chess Club

BURNABY— One of SFU’s newest clubs, the “Wizard’s Chess Club,” a club based on probably the most unimaginative activities of the Harry Potter world,...

Ex-Grammar Nazi discovered living in Argentina

BUENOS AIRES — Despite being believed by many to be long dead, a former “grammar nazi” has been found to be living in a...

LGBTQ to expand to twelve letters by 2016

NEW YORK — LGBTQ, the initialism which currently encompasses those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning, is set to increase its...

Ugandans lend hand to combat American obesity epidemic

YKAMPALA — In an effort to raise awareness about the rising rate of obesity in America, citizens of Uganda are showing solidarity by refraining...

HUMOUR: Build SFU team abruptly stops SUB project, claims “it’s just not fun anymore”

BURNABY — Despite being really excited when they first got the idea and were just playing around with ideas, the Build SFU team has...