“Flash Paintball” shockingly much more destructive than standard “Flash Mob”

VANCOUVER — Police were called to a home in east Vancouver today after receiving several calls from nearby residents who described a “massive gunfight”...

Rapper rumoured to have penned new album in which he discusses his superior merits

NEW YORK — Exciting news emerged last weekend as an iMessage leak revealed information on the subject matter of a popular gangsta-rapper’s not-yet-released album....

Local jogger apprehended after running from police

VANCOUVER — A man was brought into custody early this morning after running past a police squad car, and therefore clearly guilty of some...

Student knows he could quit video games if he wanted to

SHELL HOUSE — Jeremy Johnson, a second-year student at Simon Fraser University could quit video games anytime, like any time . . . if...

Roommate swears he should have more beers left in fridge

THE TOWNHOUSES — SFU student, Bill Ryan, told reporters Monday that he strongly believes he should have more beers left in his fridge. His claim...

Midterm literally destroys student

BLUSSON HALL — With midterm season well underway for most of SFU’s undergraduate population, many students are feeling the pressure of looming exam dates....

The cost of Rent is too high

Written by Tom Pankratz, Drama Teacher Listen, I know you guys were all jazzed about doing Rent this year but we just can’t afford to...

Culturally insensitive jack-o’-lanterns to avoid this Halloween

Of course we all know that Halloween is a fun time to get together and have good wholesome fun. Kids get to go out...