Official Memo
TO: School faculty and staff
FROM: Board of Education of School District No. 145
DATE: Jan 26, 2026
SUBJECT: Emergency BHM teaching enhancement strategy
Esteemed faculty and staff of School District No. 145:
With February just around the corner, we’re thrilled to announce that the ban on the teaching and distribution of Black history will once again be lifted exclusively for Black History Month (BHM). This is extremely exciting given that educators have taken a sacred oath to constrain this teaching to a single month out of the entire year. Why did we make them do this? We’re not sure either, but God forbid we incorporate Black history into a permanent year-round curriculum — that is simply not efficient. Why spread it out when the material can be condensed and delivered in a swift effective blow?
There are several changes coming to how BHM will be taught this month as per the recommendations of upper management. We have made the decision to go all hands-on-deck and escalate the teaching of Black history to make up for the 11 other months where we leave Black history out of the regular curriculum. We would like to thank our educators for their compliance with this unforeseen increase in work responsibilities — you will be expected to take one for the team and clock in 30 hours of overtime (per week) to work on developing unique BHM lesson plans.
To encourage participation, the Board will be implementing a revolutionary points-based system to reward educators who go above and beyond to integrate Black history teaching during all hours of the school day. Borrowing from the worldwide cultural phenomenon of Pokémon GO, teachers will be allotted points based on the frequency, spontaneity, and dramatic flair with which they mention noteworthy Black Canadian figures, locations, or histories, into as many subjects during the month of February (and February alone). An additional attack worth +80 points will be rewarded for extremely obscure facts. -300 points will be taken away if we overhear you mentioning Black history during January, March, and all the other months but February. In alignment with Pokémon GO’s gameplay, school faculty should aim to “catch ‘em all” before 11:59 p.m. on the last day of the month (and strictly, no later). To assist with your quest, trading cards with hit point and attack level designations of notable people and places will be distributed.
A final show-down will take place in the last week of February, where finalists will compete against each other in a Black History Fact-Off. Competitors will be tasked with naming as many Black figures as possible within a one minute timeframe.
To facilitate a smooth transition, volunteer representatives will be sent into classrooms to monitor and track each school’s progress. Their findings will be published in the school district’s Q1 forecast and strategically leveraged to meet our expected quarterly allyship quota. Rest assured that this oversight will terminate once BHM has concluded. Again, please note that you will be forbidden from teaching Black history after February.
We shall circle back and synergize our results on Feb 28. The institution who makes the most mentions of BHM histories will be granted a faculty pizza party and $10 gift cards — a small gesture of gratitude for bravely disrupting the status quo in such an actionable way.
Lastly, a gentle reminder that March 1, 2026 marks the official commencement of Mustache March. We kindly ask our educators to refrain from all manners of facial hair extraction before then.
Salutations,
Board of Education of School District No. 145
