By: Amrit Kamaal, Peak Associate
Aries
March 21–April 19
You totally fell for the Sonny Angel epidemic. You couldn’t resist the cuteness and just bought one, telling yourself it’ll be good for the economy. Soon, you thought it wouldn’t hurt to give it a friend. Now, every corner of your room, kitchen shelves, and attic are all taken over by tiny angel babies.
Taurus
April 20–May 20
You guys will find beauty in the unappreciated, seeking out the figurines nobody wants, AKA Robby from Sonny Angels. To y’all, Robby is the only character in the Sonny Angel universe, buying over a thousand blind boxes to get him and taking him everywhere like a trophy. Good luck trying to find that chameleon mouse-rabbit thing. He’s rare because only Tauruses want him.
Gemini
May 21–June 20
You may say you’re very “particular with your interests,” but face it, sis, the word you’re looking for is picky. You will bend over backwards, crawl through the pits of hell, and enter Narnia for the last remaining box of Sonny Angels. Gosh forbid it’s a Robby instead; you’d throw it straight in the trash.
Cancer
June 21–July 22
Unarguably the most thoughtful sign, you guys are like mini grandparents to your figurines. Making last-minute trips to Michaels to pick up the finest markets to knit little hats and scarves to keep them from getting cold. In the same beat, you’ll keep forgetting how many you have and where you put them. I thought it was impossible to lose a Smiski when they GLOW in the dark, but y’all manage.
Leo
July 23–August 22
Well it’s definitely a collection alright! You’re gripping at your childhood from the seams, babe. I promise you it has already run away. You’ll have a museum in your house dedicated to Monster High dolls, all in perfect condition. Any Frights, Camera, Action Operetta doll automatically puts all collectors on Leos’ “to rob” list.
Virgo
August 23–September 22
Again, with the whole “I’m nothing like y’all.” A Virgo’s obsession will revolve around some completely different collectible that literally no one else has ever heard of. You were scrolling through Sonny Angel’s website, wondering how you could be different from everyone today, coming across their most random collection, the Animal Bakery, and deciding you needed them all. At least the competition of collecting the rarest one goes down to one to nothing.
Libra
September 23–October 22
You’re really committed to the whole collecting thing, saving every little scrap, including the box and the receipt of the fries you bought two hours before getting your figurine. In this economy, do what you gotta do to get your money’s worth. You never know what random item you’ll need to flex on the future generations.
Scorpio
October 23–November 21
I get that middle school, high school, university, etc., is a lonely time for everyone at one point or another, and everyone develops their own coping mechanisms. But I think you took it a bit too literally when influencers said that Smiskis are like little friends. Hiding them in each crack and crevice in your home is only dope if you notify your guests beforehand about your little “roommates.” It gives major “elf on the shelf” vibes, and nobody’s here for it, especially when the lights are off.
Sagittarius
November 22–December 21
You have serious self-control when it comes to considering expanding your collection. No matter how amazing the new series of Sonny Angels is, you’ll go shopping to pick up the box, exclaim how adorable it is and how fundamental it is to your very being, and then place it down and exit.
Capricorn
December 22–January 19
Your home only contains items that have Sanrio characters on them. So, it makes perfect sense that you’ll collect over a hundred boxes of each Sanrio figurines series overseas. We’re not judging though, we love to see Cinnamoroll winning. But tone it down a bit, we’re not tryna have Disney Adults part 2 over here.
Aquarius
January 20–February 18
You guys seem to be content with anything.You just keep swimming no matter what. This is probably why you could pull the rarest Smiski on your first try and barely react while your collector friend congratulates you as they fight back tears.
Pisces
February 19–March 20
You guys have a sense of clinginess that’s wholesomely disturbing. Those Sonny Angel Hippers have a serious chokehold on you because you bring them everywhere. If you’re sitting in your 8:00 a.m. lecture asking the person that’s half asleep next to you if you can borrow a pencil, don’t be surprised if they start freaking out by the smug pair of eyes piercing into their soul. Yeah . . . not the greatest experience to see a tiny angel staring at you when you wake up.
