Monday Music: Songs to help prevent traffic in the halls

I know that “gay and caffeinated” is a meme, but I am gay and caffeinated — move

Monday Music: your weekly themed playlist. Image courtesy of The Peak.

by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-chief

I don’t know who needs to hear this but walk or get out of the way. Note that this isn’t addressed to anyone who is genuinely doing their best to navigate the hallway and get around our nightmare of a school. No, this playlist is for the select few who either walk in the middle of the hall, thus creating one-way traffic, have group hugs in narrow AQ halls, bringing pedestrians to a standstill, or those texting in staircases who end up slowing down the entire population’s speed to I’d rather die than stand behind you for one second longer while you search for your signature emoji. So here, as a public service from all the people who have places to be, are some songs that you can listen to to keep things moving.   

It Won’t Be Long” — Okay Mann

This song features a nostalgic acoustic guitar, the soothing and earnest voice of Katlin Mathison, and simple lyrics about being lonely and waiting for a change. The lyrics have a note of optimism, like there’s something at the end of the line no matter how slow and painful the wait. Will it be reuniting with your love, a new direction in which to take your life, or finally finding a way to stomach your loneliness? I don’t know man — all I know is that I’ve got a tutorial and it starts in three minutes, so I’m going to need you to make up with your high school frenemy somewhere else. 

Everything is Awful” — The Decemberists 

This song from The Decemberists’ latest album is here to remind you that I am like a shark — I need constant movement or I drown. If I have to pause in a human traffic jam because you didn’t pull over to tie your shoe, my constant existential dread is going to drown me in a tsunami of anxiety about neoliberalism and the bees. The upbeat guitar of this song will get stuck in your head as you jog to class. And the lyrics you ask? Well, I won’t spoil their beautiful simplicity and the absolute best use of background singers in the history of background singers. Just go give the song a listen and remember that this is how we all feel when you don’t pull over. And for once, it’s not neoliberalism’s fault — it’s yours.

I Will Wait” — Mumford & Sons 

An oldie but a goodie from a band I sometimes forget about. I’m leaving this here in the hopes that Mumford & Sons’ signature energetic, and slightly erratic, banjo will bring you back to life while you stumble to the nearest Renaissance for your first dose of caffeine. Just remember that while Mumford & Sons might wait for you, I don’t have the time to because my sessional instructor is overworked, underpaid, and doesn’t even know my name yet.  

Wanderer” — From Indian Lakes 

This soft, romantic song about knowing you’re in love with someone without quite managing to connect speaks to wandering and feeling adrift. This will resonate with all the poor first years, exchange students from presumably cleaner and prettier European universities, and general population confused by the latest configuration of orange pylons on the Burnaby campus. Remember that if you’re lost and holding up traffic, even if the crowd around you looks cold and annoyed and brain dead, we’ve all been where you are. We’re on your side; go ahead and ask someone where AQ 7895 is.