Legal weed to change nothing in Vancouver

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Illustrated by Reslus

Written by: Apple Cabrera

“The Cannabis Act has received Royal Assent.” Nothing better than a statement from the government of Canada to make it all the more official; marijuana is finally about to become legal.

With Bill C-45 approaching in about a month, October 17 to be exact, the future is looking bright for ganja, and it doesn’t care whether it is received well or not. For those who remain undecided on the issue, however, we at The Peak have decided to gather some opinions from various Vancouverites to gain some diverse and valuable insight on the matter.

Harold, a student of 23, responds: “You know . . . all the greats smoked dank kush. Steve Jobs, Hendrix, Huxley . . . They used it to get creative. The Doors of Perception was written on mescaline, but, you know, same thing, and it was one of the best books ever written. As for me, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Either I come up with a great idea as a thesis for a paper, or I end up spending eight hours building a ridiculously extravagant and intricate castle on Minecraft.”

When asked about the quality of the paper that resulted from such a process, Harold refused to comment any further.

Another Vancouver local, Kumar, mildly surprised, remarks that she “thought it was already legal.” After inquiring the date of legalization, Jane proceeded to stare stoically into the distance. In fact, upon seeking the opinion of 19 Vancouverites, more than half were under the same impression, claiming to have already been “smoking it on a regular basis,” and that it “helped them sleep.”

While most seemed open to the idea to the idea of legal marijuana, and a few even rather ecstatic, others were not so keen on the popular herb. An unnamed student is more adamant on the issue, claiming that marijuana “rots the brain” and “makes one slow” and that Trudeau’s “premature age of 46 is really the root of it all.”

Mary, age 45, argues that legalizing marijuana will only “get more people to smoke more weed, and those that do to smoke weed to smoke it even more.” Indeed, as is confirmed by the inevitably large attendance of civilians each year at Vancouver’s infamous 4/20 festival, there seems to be no stopping the propelling wheels of the devil’s lettuce— whether it is restricted by law or not.

As Mary’s friend Jane retorts: “People are going to smoke weed anyway. Have you been out walking in downtown Vancouver lately? There’s seem to be a lot more skunks around . . . but it’s not skunk you’re smelling. Anyway, those who don’t like it are just going to have to accept it. It’s just one of those things Vancouver’s going to get known for.”

. . . which seems to be quite fitting to the definitive list of things comprising Vancouver’s reputation, we suppose, considering that already consists of avocado toast, yoga, and naked bike riding.