McFogg the Dog leaves position of mascot, but not our hearts

Illustrated by Cora Fu

Written by: Winona Young

BREAKING NEWS: Earlier this week, SFU released a statement explaining how McFogg the Dog will no longer be SFU’s official mascot. The statement did not clarify whether McFogg quit or was fired. This bombshell has forced SFU to begin its search for a new mascot.

The speculation on how McFogg lost his status as mascot continued until a document from SFU officials was leaked to the Facebook page SFU Confessions. The document outlined the grievances that resulted in McFogg’s leaving the role of mascot.

This document is considered proof by many of McFogg’s firing. SFU student, Ms. Vanjie, provided The Peak with a possible reason as to why McFogg is gone. “Yeah he acted super pissy to the SFU officials and was like super angry at all of them,” Vanjie explained. “You know it’s bad when the mascot won’t even fuck with your school.”

Vanjie’s comments are further corroborated by the head of SFU’s Recreation Office, Youbee Seesux. “In my opinion, it’s no surprise McFogg is gone,” she said. “The admin wanted him gone since he started acting out.”

Seesux was referring to the series of controversial incidents that happened following McFogg the Dog’s semester in dialogue with the first years in the Barbara Rae dorms. According to Seesux and several other sources, McFogg the Dog’s behaviour seemed out of character and more whiny, and he was more inclined to binge The Office and Instagram his avocado toast — in other words, more “millennial.”

There was much speculation surrounding McFogg’s employment after butting heads with SFU administration.

His many bones to pick with the school include, but are not limited to, the low turnout rate for sports games, the $10 cover charge for the dining hall, and the inadequacy of the room-booking system he hoped to use for his new club, D&D (Dogs and Drankz). The most striking of his grievances was aired through a series of derogatory remarks about the new Student Union Building and his thoughts on where they could build it instead.

Apparently McFogg was so inspired by students that he was seen protesting alongside them about the tuition fees here at SFU. He was spotted holding a sign that read: “Broke bitches like me need lower tuition fees.” This was not the last of McFogg’s streak of protesting. The mascot apparently started his own online gofundme to pay for a gondola for SFU, complaining that “the school needs to get off its ass already and get it done.”

The leaked document reported that SFU officials were livid at McFogg for the multiple photos and videos that were found on a student’s Snapchat story. The content showed McFogg mounted on the shoulders of the Terry Fox statue as well as being caught in an amorous position at the Avocado late Friday night.

Both SFU officials and McFogg refused to provide The Peak any comment about McFogg’s dismissal.

With McFogg gone, SFU is still on its search for a new mascot. SFU initially called for its students to comment mascot ideas under a Facebook post two days ago, but the post was later deleted due to the massive amount of suggestions. Such suggestions included: Bongwater the Bullfrog, Vinny E. the Existential Void, Simon Fraser the Simon, Balthazar the Biblical Banshee, and “anime.”

Since then, SFU has placed an ad in the local Craigslist for new mascots.

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