SFU has over 100 clubs and student unions, all of which are excellent avenues for networking, gaining experience, and the occasional ego boost. However, a new study suggests these organized social gatherings might exist for more ulterior motives.

According to a study produced last week by SFU, approximately 70 percent of all executive members from Departmental Student Unions (DSU) and clubs hold the position purely to pad their resumés.

“We polled about 80 execs from across SFU and found that the majority felt their resumés were weak and needed some filler,” said lead researcher Dr. Doris Blankfein. Dr. Blankfein confirmed the majority of exec members “have no real responsibilities” and “don’t give a shit.”

“Our findings showed that an overwhelming majority have the position just to have the position, and don’t really do anything.”

We spoke with one executive member who wished to remain anonymous. He said, “I mean, my official title is co-vice president of external relations, or something like that, I can’t remember really . . . I guess I took the job so I could pad my resumé. It also makes me feel accomplished. It’s incredible the effect this title has had on my ego. Now, when I talk to people, I have a reason to be self-righteous and snobby!”

“It’s been wonderful,” said another DSU member. “With my new title of co-director of marketing engagement, I can actually offload my work onto the other co-director and other members of exec.

“I don’t do much, but my title does the work for me!”

The report concluded that about 15 percent held their position because they “actually do the majority of the work,” while another 15 percent had their position by default because nobody else wanted it.