Did you notice the Imaginus poster sale on Burnaby campus a few weeks ago? Yeah, you did. Did you impulsively buy a $12 Game of Thrones poster, thinking it would really make your room more you? Probably. Semesterly poster sales are like the traveling salesmen of the post-secondary world: by the time you realize how frivolous and stupid your purchase was, they’ve already moved on to the next group of suckers-to-be.
But not all mass duplicated posters are created equal. You can learn a lot about a person by making snap judgements based on their wall décor. Take, for example, that Andy Warhol poster you bought. With so many iconic prints readily available to students, we thought we’d break down for you what each totally unique poster says about the person who owns them.
1) Brooklyn Bridge: With its vibrant greens, reds, and blues, a person who owns a poster of this 1983 classic can rest assured they’re authentic; a real one-in-a-million kind of person that stands out in any crowd.
2) After the Party: Depicting the aftermath of a pleasant soiree, the “After the Party” poster is a playful take on black and white art, complemented with light use of other colours. The poster is perfect for someone in pursuit of uniqueness in life and who isn’t interested in being just another cog in the machine.
3) Sunset: While the sun in this Warhol classic may be setting, you’re probably in the sunrise of your life. The purple background informs people of your realness as an individual, and the blistery yellow sun at the centre of the poster is a real attention-grabber — just like you!
4) Banana: People probably ask you, “Who are The Velvet Underground & Nicos?” and you aloofly reply, “Oh, you’re referring to my vintage Andy Warhol poster? They’re just this indie rock group from the ‘60s and ‘70s that I listen to occasionally.” You’re aloof because people who own a “Banana” poster are used to these sorts of compliments about how genuine and original they are as human beings.
5) “Wasting money puts you in a real party mood”: When the astute philosopher Donald K. Glover was quoted saying, “Yeah, they say they want the realness,” he was referring to how other people envy your inimitable poster. Though you can be a bit of a loner at times, that’s only because people are jealous and wish they were as novel as you.
6) A poster with Andy Warhol and some bullshit quote: Forget for a moment that most Warhol quotes sound like something a small child would say. Forget that he’s often just giving definitions to basic words. (“The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting”? You’ve just described the word anticipation.) None of these things matter because you have an original, mass-printed, widely available, 100 per cent replicated Andy Warhol poster hanging in your living room and everyone’s going to see it and they’re going to think you’re a really cool guy or gal because only really cool guy or gals are cool enough to stop and buy a poster when they’re walking in the hallways between lectures.
