LONDON — HMV CEO Trevor Moore told the media yesterday that he was “just floored” at how his company that sells exclusively products that are available for free online somehow had revenue of $1,486.44 million dollars last year.

While the company managed to do alright in the last quarter without making any adjustments to their out of date business model, Moore isn’t too optimistic about the future.

“I mean, it kinda sucks for everyone working here, but realistically, can this go anywhere but down?”

Moore explained that he was really “just trying to figure out in his head how much time the company had left” as he attempted to tell the media that the physical CD’s and DVD’s HMV sold were all at once infinitely more compact, durable, and transportable.

At one point Moore even admitted that he himself didn’t own many, if any items sold at his stores. “I don’t even own DVDs” Moore said, “I mean realistically I travel a lot, so I’m not going to carry around 50 to 60 DVD discs with me, that’d be insane!”

Moore also complained that the government needed to stop the piracy of the music business. He argued that if it wasn’t music piracy, customers would still be buying the cumbersome and archaic discs.

“I mean what do you expect us to do? Sell our stuff on the internet now that the market has changed? No way, these people are breaking the law.”

In closing Moore stated that though the online market seemed to be far from perfect, it was not HMV’s responsibility to develop or buyout a digital service like Netflix.

“If we sell stuff online, less people will want to buy CDs—we’d be cutting into our own market share!” Moore said before leaving to contemplate how someone with his business sense even became a CEO.