Despite all conventional logic, a hook-up is now theoretically possible
By Colin Sharp
Photos by Mark Burnham
The social media world was stunned last Thursday after upstart Facebook app Bang With Friends announced that it finally had its first female user sign up for the app. Until that moment, the only female presence on the website had been the picture of the girl on the homepage, who refused to allow the website to use any photos of her where her face was visible. Due to the site’s unimpeachable morals, the lone female user’s identity remains anonymous. Reports suggest that she is a “solid 6,” but one member of the development team added that “she could probably pass for an 8 with a pair of oversized sunglasses.” For most men this will be satisfactory news, but for two of you out there, I’m sorry. She is your sister.
The development team behind the app is so grateful that this young woman signed up they considered sending her a thank-you card. Luckily they backed off when they realized that would confirm what most women already think about the app: it’s creepy.
Bang With Friends has garnered lots of media attention in recent weeks. The app purports to allow Facebook users of both genders to anonymously select those of their Facebook friends whom they are “down to bang.” Should two users select each other, they are each sent an email notification so they can organize the event. Presumably the event in question is awkwardly sitting on a couch until one of you says “I wish there was an app for this part.”
Of course this all remains theoretical. At this point the young woman has not selected any of her friends to bang. Currently, the only matches in the Bang With Friends database are straight dudes that picked each other as a joke with very few of these matches having actually gone on to have sex. Even though she hasn’t picked anybody, men are thrilled that a woman has finally signed up for the service. Had this continued, many men were concerned they would have to resort to more traditional forms of courtship such as sending poking or DMs on Twitter. Despite this news, the vast majority of women are still showing trepidation in signing up for the site.
“The site just doesn’t seem very fair to me,” said Ashley Bryant, a fourth-year communications major. “Unless I hear about men getting an app called “Listen-To-Me-Talk-About-My-Day With Friends” I don’t think I’ll be joining anytime soon.”
Although over 50,000 men have signed up for Bang With Friends, many of them still don’t show confidence in the success rate of the app. “I know the odds of this working are as low as winning the lottery, but I still joined,” said second-year business major Lucas Singh. “I mean, the app is completely free. I love properly dating a girl as much as anyone, but who would turn down a free lottery ticket?”
