By Ms. X
“My boyfriend always asks for blowjobs before we have sex, but I never know if he wants me to get him off or if he is just looking for a warm up. He has never initiated going down on me, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to. If he does climax, then is it OK for me to ask him to reciprocate?”
Blowjobs are a pretty hot topic amongst students, along with oral in general. But is oral foreplay or a replacement for sex? There are times when the oral component to sex can just be foreplay, and other times when all you need is a little head before bed. It can save time and mess to keep things strictly oral, but there really is no single answer.
To answer the second part of your question, if your boyfriend is only looking for some head, it’s completely okay to ask that the favour be returned. In the end, you deserve to be just as satisfied as your partner. Rumours have always persisted that men don’t like to go down on girls, but that’s no excuse to let him get away with it. Making you orgasm may give him some satisfaction and perhaps change his mind about venturing down there.
One easy way to introduce your man to eating you out and get him excited about doing it is to propose the 69 position. Pleasing each other at the same time will ensure you both leave the bedroom satisfied.
If you want to let him know what you want, being direct with it will definitely get your point across. To tell him straight up that it’s only fair for him to equalize your oral adventures is not asking too much. However, it can be a vulnerable time when you’re already in the bedroom, so if you are worried about asking him then, find a time to bring up the conversation elsewhere. If you think he may pick up on hints, making small comments about wanting him to take the dive may send the right message.
It is also entirely possible that your man may be unsure or unconfident about his skills. It is important that you make the situation comfortable not only for yourself, but for him too. When he does go down on you, make sure he knows he’s doing a good job. Vocal reassurance is important for him so that he will continue to do it in the future. Feel free to give direction, as he will likely appreciate the advice, and the fact that you know what you want may even serve as a turn-on for him.
The next time the two of you start fooling around, don’t worry about the expectations he has for your oral fun to turn into sex. There doesn’t need to be a clear definition of the expectations for every intimate session. But please, don’t let him get away any longer without doing his fair share. Whatever way you are comfortable doing it, you are more than entitled to introduce your boyfriend into the world of muff diving. Little does he know, contrary to the rumours, pleasing you may be pleasing for him as well.