Top Ten
Top 10 ordinary things for your classmates to endure
July 3, 2022A pineapple Why not bring this mystery to class? You could either rock your pineapple like a baby, bring it to the teacher like an out-of-the-box-thinking teacher’s pet, or whip it out of your backpack halfway through class and apologize for having to eat it. The future is clear (and tropical)! A full-sized cardboard cutout of Leonardo DiCaprio Bring a cardboard cutout of Leonardo DiCaprio to get your classmates talking — I speak from personal experience. You can ask Leo anything, like a Magic 8-ball. But a silent one you can dress up with anything, like a lei! Spice…
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Top ten ways to make a good impression on your TA
June 20, 2022Tell them you’ve taken the class five times Brag about your unmatched experience with the course. After all, what’s more impressive than being extremely acquainted with the course content? The paper? Done it. The exam? Taken it so many times…
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Top ten ways to cope with the beginning of another semester
May 9, 2022Denial What semester? This summer you’ll be tanning blissfully at the beach, laughing at the people signing up for another summer of the same school-related stress and poorly air-conditioned lecture halls. Instead of completing required readings, you’ll be reading a…
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Top ten reasons SFU is better than UBC
March 28, 2022Our campus isn’t the worst Separate buildings across a 400 hectare campus? What is that? Who needs that much space? While UBC students are bragging about their “campus culture” SFU students will be happily walking to class under something called…
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Top Ten ways to recover from a fall
March 22, 20221. Pretend to propose Since you’re on the ground already, you might as well just stay on your knees and start proposing to the person in front of you. Say they got you so excited you decided to wait and…
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Top Ten SFU Student Phrases
March 16, 20221. “Do you think it’ll bite me if I pet it?” Going to school on a mountain means there’s a lot of wildlife around, and perhaps the most iconic animal that roams the halls of SFU Burnaby is the majestic…
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Top Ten ways to get an extension
March 8, 2022My dog ate my homework A timeless classic for an excuse that works every time. Some may say that in the digital age, your dog eating your homework is impossible. I say with enough eye contact and persistent confidence, your…
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Top Ten Vancouver Cafés
February 28, 20221. Black Coffee An easy Top Ten contender, this café provides Vancouver coffee lovers the simplicity they’re sometimes looking for. By stripping down all the parts of the business, including their menu, Black Coffee tells the customer exactly what they’re…
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Top Ten ways to tell a homie you love them
February 23, 20221. Send it with a carrier raven Listen, I know what you’re thinking. “Don’t they mean carrier pigeon?” Get real, kid. Pigeons are so passé. The last thing you want to do is send your best friend a fucking carrier…
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Top ten places to have sex at SFU besides the avocado
February 16, 20221. Quietly, under the covers in your dorm room Listen, you don’t have to be an exhibitionist, here. It’s perfectly acceptable to have regular old vanilla sex with a partner/real good buddy in your dorm room. If it’s any consolation,…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]