SFUnexplained
SFUnexplained: Disappearing service tickets
February 16, 2026You can’t throw a rock at SFU without hitting an abandoned facilities services project. We all know that sign, posted in SFU letterhead, adhered with masking tape: “a service ticket has been submitted.” It mocks you as you pass by, daily, for months on end. Who can forget that the automatic doors in the WMC remained broken for the better part of last school year? Or months of walking through the SUB to see no headway on a shattered glass divider? Or the campus’ code blue phones, which have been out of order for more than a year? Most recently,…
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SFUnexplained: What’s hiding behind the surface of the reflecting pond?
November 11, 2025It’s easy to disregard the SFU reflecting pond when you walk past it every day. But here at The Peak, we wear tin foil hats to pitch meetings and curate evidence boards. That’s how real journalism is done, dangnabbit! Your…
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SFUnexplained: Finding McFogg
February 16, 2023My pen bristles as I try to write to you. No . . . I promised myself I wasn’t going to make this mistake again. I’m already paying off Joy Johnson to wipe my record clean of the incident with…
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SFUnexplained: I can’t escape Freud
January 15, 2023Everywhere I go . . . I see his face. Sigmund (hopefully not motherfucking) Freud. It was innocuous at first: he would come up, obviously, in my PSYC 101 class. I get it, we all have to learn about the…
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SFUnexplained: SHOCKING STINKY TRUTHS in the sixth floor AQ
January 30, 2022My name is Dr. Gregory “Sniffers” Martin (57 at the time of writing) and I’m here with SHOCKING news about SFU that will change your perception of reality forever. Do you think you’re safe to just wander around the campus…
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President Joy Johnson is an AI hologram
November 26, 2021Hear me out: president Joy Johnson is actually a hologram powered with artificial intelligence. She has given clear clues from the beginning, making no effort to hide it, knowing that nobody will believe those of us observant enough to put…
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SFUnexplained: Criminology monitors paranormal activity
November 25, 2021Have you ever visited SFU’s most popular department and wondered why they have so many cameras? Have you felt like you’re being watched, even when every other student’s eyes are glued to their work? Know this: the School of Criminology…
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SFUnexplained: My assignments are being eaten
November 25, 2021Yes, yes, we’ve all heard the tales . . . seen how the darkness and the infinite turns of the RCB swallows first-years and seniors alike. But as you all file back into campus, I must warn you of a…
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SFUnexplained: Burnaby’s construction hides a monster
June 16, 2021Anyone who’s had the misfortune of studying classical mythology has likely heard the story of the Greek Labyrinth created to house the Minotaur, a monstrous half-man, half-bull creature. SFU is a real-life case of something similar, currently orchestrated by president…
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SFUnexplained: There are aliens among us
June 7, 2021The Day The Earth Stood Still, The 6th Day, The Fly II: what do all these movies have in common? They all were filmed on SFU’s Burnaby campus, yes. But that’s not all: these movies are also part of a…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]