SFU

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I accidentally joined the university pyramid scheme

Humour January 21, 2020

Written by Paige Riding Check your phone — there’s a new direct message on Instagram. Is it a clueless friend, sending you ANOTHER meme you’ve already seen? Doja Cat, finally responding to the thirst trap you sent her while high? You unlock your phone, and . . . It’s Kelsee, the girl from high school who bullied you for years. Beautiful. You already know what it’ll say. Hey girl!! I’m reaching out because my regional President challenged me to reach out to 10 strong, fierce women who may be interested in earning money from home! Would you like to hear…

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3 min 0 1501

I fell in love with a meme king

Humour January 21, 2020

Written by Kim Regala, Staff Writer I’ve always been a firm non-believer of romance. Ever since that school dance in the sixth grade . . . This kid thought the best way to ask me out was with a cheesy…

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2 min 0 1448

SFU embraces full open-concept design by expelling all its students

Humour January 14, 2020

Written by Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer While SFU is already known worldwide for its exceptional architecture, the university has decided to update its interior design for a new year by completely embracing open-concept design. To declutter its buildings in pursuit…

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5 min 0 2740

Best comfy spots at SFU Burnaby

Features January 14, 2020

By: Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer Picture this: You’re on the mountain. Maybe you’re between classes and want to do some readings — or at least, attempt to. Maybe you want to take a power nap before your next four-hour lecture.…

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3 min 0 1279

SFU drinking games to kick off (and get you through) the semester

Humour January 14, 2020

I’m Not Drunk, YOU’RE Drunk A game to play when you’ve had a big Wednesday night out, only to find yourself in lecture on Thursday morning, somehow still incredibly sloshed. The rules are simple: Interact with as many people as…

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An illustration of a girl with long flowing hair. Astrological signs and stars shine around her.
3 min 0 1023

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: January 13–19

Humour January 14, 2020

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Your brain is quite compatible with rocket science. Just like a rocket, it doesn’t work unless you drink rocket fuel. Make this week the week to suffer responsibly for…

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Musing on my experiences in BC as a French exchange student

Features January 12, 2020

By: Noé Baudouin, SFU Student “Good morning passengers, we’re now 24,000 feet above ground on our way to Denver,” exclaims the pilot through the microphone. It is 11:35 a.m. and I am on my way to France to celebrate Christmas…

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2 min 0 1565

Trudeau’s new beard “full of secrets,” sources said last Wednesday

Humour January 8, 2020

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor As Prime Minister Justin Trudeau dons a scruffy new look for the new year, sources close to him have suggested that his new facial hair may have an ulterior motive.  “He’s totally rich because…

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4 min 0 1170

DEAR PEAKIE: SFU’s latest and greatest advice column

Humour January 7, 2020

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor All questions submitted by SFU students! --- Dear Peakie, Despite feeling lonely, I have an independent streak that drives me away from most relationships. But it sounds nice to be in one, and I…

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1 min 0 1791

SFU PARODY POEMS: “Shall I Compare Thee to a Cloudy Day?”

Humour January 7, 2020

Written by Ben McGuinness, Peak Associate Shall I compare thee to a cloudy day? Thou art more dreary and more concrete: Rough weather does slow the bus to the bay, And its capacity is short of seats; Sometime too long…

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