SFU
Student loses house keys somewhere inside dense course reading
July 6, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor VANCOUVER, BC — On Monday, Texas Boxerbatte, a third-year English student at SFU, found himself locked out of his home after dropping his house keys somewhere in the depths of his 150 pages of readings for the week. “I was vibing on my porch, immersing myself in my literary theory readings,” said Boxerbatte. “Which was very, very hard. I got up to get away from the mosquitos and my keys just fell out of my pocket and plopped straight in.” Boxerbatte has been unable to locate the missing keys anywhere within the text, which…
Continue reading
Your weekly SFU horoscopes: July 6–12
July 6, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: How are you coping without waiting ridiculous amounts of time in the West Mall Tim Hortons line for a mediocre coffee and pastry? There was just something special about staring at your phone…
Continue reading
Friends social distance by walking in giant “body walls” occupying whole sidewalk
July 5, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor VANCOUVER, BC — An increasing number of Vancouverites are keeping contact to a minimum by forming “body walls” as they walk down the street, repelling others who might approach. “No one will bother coming…
Continue reading
The five love languages of Canvas
July 5, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Trouble in remote paradise? Can’t find happiness in your lifelong commitment? Fret no more. If you and Canvas just can’t communicate with one another, there’s a simple possibility: you don’t know your Canvas love…
Continue reading
QUIZ: Should you add your sleep paralysis demon to your social bubble?
June 30, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor 1. With whom else does your sleep paralysis demon spend his time? a) No one, he promised me he doesn’t even follow hot people on Instagram anymore b) His fellow…
Continue reading
I am Tails ‘B’ Wagging Animal Shelter and I am very sad and empty
June 30, 2020Written by Hannah Davis, Peak Associate My name is Tails ‘B’ Wagging Animal Shelter and today has been a bittersweet day. You may have guessed it. I am an animal shelter, and over the last few months, something strange has…
Continue reading
Your weekly SFU horoscopes: June 29–July 5
June 30, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: How many tabs does your computer have open? Does it feel like your brain has just as much running at once and you’re feeling overwhelmed? Remember to calm your mind and close some…
Continue reading
A single at-home TikTok workout made me too powerful
June 26, 2020Written by Hannah Davis, Peak Associate Once all the gyms closed, I was at a loss as to where to find easy at-home workouts. Should I look to qualified trainers online? Local gyms holding free or reduced cost classes online?…
Continue reading
Students excited for Canvas discussion that has absolutely nothing to do with the class
June 26, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Students enrolled in ENGL 190: Misc. Studies in Literature are abuzz with anticipation as they await this Thursday: the next weekly online Canvas discussion, which once again will have absolutely no connection to the…
Continue reading
CONFESSIONALS: MPA, ALA . . . I couldn’t tell you the difference
June 25, 2020Written by Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer For much too long, I’ve been a pretender. I’ve fooled everyone — but I can’t smile in silence anymore. No, I am not guilty of identity theft (anymore). Worse: I still can’t figure out the…
Continue reading
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]