Lana Del Rey
The shit files: The SFU Shitter begins his carnage
March 9, 2026By: The SFU Shitter My friends, the time is now for poop liberation. My good friend, the SFU Pisser, started this movement. Now, it’s time for us to end it. Our goal? Better quality washrooms. Bidets in every single one of them. How will we achieve it? Join our struggle! Our struggle is a principled one. We are not reckless shitters — we are targeted ones. We will take our poop to the front lawns of SFU’s executives. That includes you, president Joy Johnson. We will not rest until we can peacefully shit on campus. For my first letter to The…
Continue reading
Monday Mewzick: Underground albums to kick-start the school year
November 8, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Correspondent for Rolling Stones As the new school year starts, the halls of SFU are hustling and bustling once again with every SFU student’s least favourite thing . . . other SFU students. Don’t you just hate…
Continue reading
Lana Del Rey’s hologram to headline Fall Kickoff
July 24, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Picture this: Lana Del Rey, singing Chemtrails Over The Country Club, frantically flying over an audience, and waving her arms like a fairy all at the same time. At first, you think, “Goddamn. What an…
Continue reading
My Summertime Classes by Sarah Sorochuk and Lana Del Rey
May 19, 2025By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate Going to bed with a DIY spray tan, Summertime classes. Waking up for an 8:00 a.m., My summertime classes. I’ve got my backpack on today, Dreaming of a day when I could be away.…
Continue reading
Monday Music: Moody and magical melodies for Halloween
October 28, 2019By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer I’ve never really engaged in witchcraft or dabbled in the occult, but sometimes I get the feeling of wanting to transcend some realms, or at least meet some fairies in an enchanted forest. Disregarding the…
Continue reading
Monday Music: Songs to cry over midterms to
October 14, 2019By: Andrea Renney, Arts Editor Even though it feels like the semester just started, there’s no avoiding the fact that it is, unfortunately, midterm season. While I personally spend more time crying over boys than crying over schoolwork, I am…
Continue reading
