HUMOUR
Game of Thrones characters surviving SFU
June 17, 2019Written by: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate Illustration by: Cora Fu Game of Thrones characters can survive White Walkers, mad kings, and greyscale. But how would they handle being SFU students? Joffrey Baratheon Joffrey is an entitled prince and would never study because he’d think he could pay his way through absolutely anything. Let’s be honest, the only reason why he’d probably be able to attend SFU is because mommy “negotiated” with higher-ups to let him in. Joffrey would be one of those pretentious, old-school political science majors who think poor people shouldn’t be allowed to vote because they don’t contribute…
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Welcome to the Antique Textbook Show!
June 10, 2019Written by: Ahmed Ali, Peak Associate Welcome to 14th annual SFU Antique Textbook Show! Every year, students gather to show off ancient, overpriced education supplies no longer usable in the classroom. These wonderful artifacts of the past have endured much,…
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Chill out this summer without freezing your bank account!
June 10, 2019Written by: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate Summer; ‘tis the season for sweating balls 24/7. Broke students unable to afford A/C become even more disgusting. It’s no secret that as a person diagnosed with DTS — Drenched T-shirt Syndrome — the…
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Seven Deadly Roommate Sins
June 9, 2019Written by: Ana Staskevich, Staff Writer Illustration by: Alice Zhang These seven cardinal vices have been around since the dawn of time, thriving and festering in our man-made world. Who better to embody them but broke, stressed, and caffeine-addicted students that…
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A student life of horror
June 7, 2019Written by: Gemma Lee, Peak Associate Being a student is being the character in a horror movie stumbling screaming through a haunted house, endlessly making the worst decisions but having no idea how it’ll affect the outcome of your life.…
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Golden advice from the trash
June 4, 2019Written by: Ana Staskevich, Staff Writer Illustrated by: Alice Zhang Have your own problems or crises that you want to get a second perspective on? Get in touch with SFU’s distinguished advisor raccoon, reachable by email at [email protected]. I am SO…
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The Scroll to Summon an Academic Advisor
June 4, 2019Written by: Dhruv Taware, Peak Associate Three scrolls for the professors under the sky, Seven for the ever-present construction workers in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Students, doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord, Academic Advisor, on…
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A better-than-sports stadium
June 3, 2019Written by: Ben McGuinness, SFU Student SFU recently broke ground on a brand new sports stadium, scheduled to open by Summer 2020 in SFU-time, which is Spring 2045 in real people time. But if you didn’t come to SFU to…
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The Law of Roommate Land
June 3, 2019Written by: Mishaa Khan, Peak Associate Illustration by: Tiffany Chan Roomeo: Welcome to the 500th episode of Roommate Court! I am your host, Roomeo! Today, Hannah Optimisticstein is suing her ex-roommate Max Synic for threatening to kill her . . .…
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Arthur made me gay: don’t let it happen to you
June 3, 2019Written by: Gabrielle McLaren, Lesbian-in-chief 3 Dear friends and family, My fingers shake as I type this blog post, I have never felt more fear in my life. The children’s show, Arthur, is attempting to eradicate straight people. I was…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]