A better-than-sports stadium

Making SFU’s new stadium a worthy investment

Photo curtesy of Pexels

Written by: Ben McGuinness, SFU Student

 

SFU recently broke ground on a brand new sports stadium, scheduled to open by Summer 2020 in SFU-time, which is Spring 2045 in real people time. But if you didn’t come to SFU to see a football team, you might be wondering how you will get your money’s worth out of the project.

 

Here we present some of the other potential uses for the stadium that will help to make it useful for everyone!

 

Make convocations a big-ticket event

Although Burnaby campus has become a shifting puzzle of construction, students have been assured that convocations will go ahead in the usual space outside of the library. But scepticism hangs in the air. While renovations continue over the next few decades, why not make use of the new stadium! The stadium allows for the graduation we deserve, with marching bands and cheerleaders and a half-time show put on by the TAs. There will be Gatorade and Spitz served for the grads as the valedictorian does a victory lap for a cheering crowd.  

 

Super-hype PhD defences

Let’s turn stuffy PhD defences into a full on academic throwdown! Imagine the bleachers filled with students, faculty, and guests. Popcorn and hot dogs served, a panel of professor judges seated in front, X-Factor style, and an outdoor stage decked out with strobe lights, fog machines, and pyrotechnics. Our best DJs at CJSF will spin sick beats while our PhDs rap their theses with an emotional freestyle about their dissertation in the middle. Now that’s butts in seats!

 

If the job market is a circus, throw a carnival

What would get students more excited to be on campus than a good carnival? We could set up some games with proceeds going back to the charity of choice: SFU. Dunk the prof, throw darts at your syllabus, fish for your long-lost enthusiasm for life, win a prize that might just be a 50 cent gift card to the bookstore! Ride the rollercoaster of fluctuating GPAs, the merry-go-round of conflicting advice, and the bumper cars of group project hostility.

 

We need a sports stadium because no university is complete without one (for some reason), but we SFU students can find other creative ways to use it. Let this be a starting point to a broader discussion about how we’ll make the stadium the place to be. The funds are limited, but the fun should be boundless!

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