HUMOUR
Millionaire returns from isolated Caribbean retreat, complains about forced isolation in the real world
September 11, 2020By: Serena Bains, Staff Writer I just returned from a peaceful silent retreat from an island in the Caribbean, the name of which is not important for true soul-searchers like me. To my dismay, I returned to a dastardly state of affairs where self-isolation is the norm. I thought initially that physical distancing referred to my children or taxes. You can imagine my disappointment when I discovered it entailed quite the opposite. I am now confined to my luxury villa in Vancouver for two weeks where my neighbours are but a few measly acres away. It is cruel, really, how…
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A Zoom love story: How I fell in love within the confines of a 4x5cm box
September 10, 2020By Molly Lorette, Peak Associate Oh how the utter bliss from classes seems to have faded since the transition online! No, I'm not talking about the increased difficulty in communication, nor am I talking about the increased workloads and expectations…
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How SFU’s A-listers are managing without the limelight (and potato wedges) during the pandemic
September 9, 2020By: Emma Jean, Staff Writer Providing its readers with the latest scoops on SFU’s most notable, The Peak reached out to three different raccoons on the Burnaby campus to get a sense of how they’re coping with being away from…
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Professor shocked that students do not have the textbook mentioned in the syllabus emailed the night before class
September 9, 2020Written by Paige Riding, Humour Editor As Dr. Galicken’s PSYC 392 course started this week, he was infuriated to see half of the Zoom call participants turn off their cameras and the other half visibly roll their eyes when he…
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Student heals emotionally after falling asleep on bedspread at 2 a.m. in day clothes
August 11, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor VANCOUVER, BC — This morning, an SFU student woke up completely emotionally stable. He had fallen asleep on top of his bed covers at 2:37 a.m., still dressed in his T-shirt, shorts, and favourite…
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Man plays hide-and-go-seek with memories of times he was wrong
August 11, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor VANCOUVER, BC — An SFU student has been sighted in the downtown core playing hide-and-go-seek. When asked who was “it,” he explained that he was trying and failing to track down his memories of…
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Students heartbroken to realize it’ll be illegal to have terrible Fall Kickoff party this year
August 10, 2020Written by Paige Riding This week, students took a moment away from studying to process a big epiphany: thanks to the COVID-motivated ban on large gatherings in BC, overwhelmingly underwhelming events like the annual Fall Kickoff are officially illegal. Marking…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: August 3 – 9
August 3, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: Is your love language “Acts of Service?” Or are you the only Aries on the face of the Earth who likes when their partner randomly compliments them instead of showing their affection in…
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A Day in my Life: Remote Co-op Student
July 31, 2020Written by Kitty Cheung, Peak Associate 8:16 AM Wake up to sound of CNN news blasts on coronavirus — thank you, family Resent choice to move back home for the summer But . . . where else could you have gone?…
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MISSING DOG: Last seen in the labyrinth of SFU’s website
July 29, 2020Written by Michelle Young, Staff Writer VANCOUVER, BC — A dog has been reported missing as of July 12. Spot, age two, was last seen July 11 around 5:45 p.m., exploring the SFU website, but has yet to return home.…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]