HUMOUR
Rejected ideas for the Student Union Building (SUB)
September 21, 2020By: Juztin Bello, Carter Hemion, Emma Jean, Paige Riding, Nathan Tok, and Sara Wong Escape room (By Juztin) As any SFU student knows, being on campus is already kind of like being in an escape room: you’re anxious, have the overwhelming need to escape, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve wasted money on being confused in a room for 50 minutes. It might be nice to have a room where your intelligence and patience are tested by your adaptability to an environment and your success depends on the skills of the people around you. But then again, something like…
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Apocamoth Now
September 20, 2020By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor September 1 (Day 1): Dear Diary, New year, new me, baby. I don’t know what it is, but something feels funny about coming back to campus. I’m all settled in my dorm room, ready for…
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SFUnexplained: Former SFU president Andrew Petter replaced by suspicious look-alike during final term
September 20, 2020By: Carter Hemion, Peak Associate Wake up, sheeple! Our beloved previous university president, Andrew Petter, has been replaced by a doppelgänger. For starters, Petter has not been seen in person for months. After a decade of hard work spent keeping…
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Single student not even that mad that they’re alone, grateful for emotional support laundry on their bed
September 20, 2020By: Zedd Strangelove, SFU Student The room is silent with the exception of a lone ceiling fan pushing lukewarm air down on the bed. There I lie on my crunchy bedsheets, staring into the abyss of my stylish water-stained popcorn…
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Top Ten personality traits society has outgrown the need for
September 19, 2020By: Juztin Bello, Copy Editor Pineapple on pizza debaters Some might say the worst thing is putting pineapple on pizza, but what’s worse than that is the people who use this debate as their primary personality trait. To me, food…
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SFU student devastated to learn that taking six courses does not count as a personality trait
September 14, 2020By: Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer The semester just started and students are getting settled into their new schedules, dropping or changing classes, and, in some cases, coming to terms with life-altering discoveries. Third-year biological sciences major, Sheena Ann Oing, recently…
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Guy who responds with forehead picture and no caption better communicator than SFU, survey reports
September 14, 2020By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor BURNABY, BC — A new survey expressed the SFU community’s overwhelming preference for communicating with a dude on their Snapchat friend list who “kinda sucks at making conversation” over those in charge of their university’s…
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Communication graduate left searching for the “s” she swears was at the end of her major’s name
September 13, 2020By: Alex Masse, SFU Student This year hasn’t been great for anyone. Students have online schooling to dread, and graduates are braving the “new normal” in search of work. Most of them, however, have one particular advantage: they actually know…
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Student has life-altering epiphany in the complete silence of a Zoom breakout group
September 13, 2020By: Zedd Strangelove, SFU Student Quarantine was in full swing, and due to my own poor choices, my classes were, too. The beginning of online lectures were rough enough with my HBO subscription providing me a 34-minute attention span. Three…
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The recollections of an SFU Boomer
September 13, 2020By: Carter Hemion, Peak Associate Here’s the skinny of it: incoming students for the online Fall 2020 semester are getting off too easy. They get to wake up at 8:29 a.m. for their 8:30 a.m. lectures, go to class without…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]