HUMOUR
Your SFU horoscopes September 13–19
September 13, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor ARIES: You’re a gas, but the things that fuel you might leave you a wreck. At least you’re driven, like the car that crashed into the pond. TAURUS: You might want to sit down for this . . . A case of plastic chairs found their way into the pond. Take a stand by bringing them to class. The three decent seats will be taken by the time you get there, anyway. GEMINI: Bud, you’re balling, but I have something that’s right up your alley. Put a pin in it and go snatch a bowling…
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The SUB be the worst undersea vessel ever created
September 12, 2021By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor Call me Ishmael. Some semester ago — ne’er mind how long precisely — I thought I would sail about a little ’n see the watery part o’ the world. Aft a few months at sea,…
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SFU Student Updates: September 13–19
September 12, 2021By: Sara Brinkac, Peak Associate and taken for granted Key Updates None of this means anything According to recent email metrics, 99.5% of SFU students either automatically delete or don’t even open Student Updates emails. Of the remaining 0.5%, half of…
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SFU announces new eReader to replace textbooks
September 7, 2021By: Craig Allan, SFU student In order to reduce the burden of books on students, SFU will now be requiring the use of e-books for courses. The additional platform for academics to juggle is guaranteed to work smoothly for all…
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My Dining Hall disaster
September 7, 2021By: Tamanna T., Staff Writer My name is Hella Enderson, and this is the story of how a raccoon and I bonded over our love for sushi. I was walking towards the Dining Hall when I saw the raccoon for the…
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Fall 2021 courses to guarantee your survival
September 6, 2021By: Victoria Lopatka SA 421W – Greetings, Flirting, & Transit in SFU Society This course will re-introduce students to the study of socializing, post-social isolation. Students will be challenged to talk to their classmates, say “hi” to people they don’t…
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Research group “Mankind” denies new SFU research
September 6, 2021By: Jacob Mattie, Peak Associate In a recent press report, gender-proud man and SFU materials science researcher Mike Roeskòp alleged that diamond remains the hardest substance known to mankind. He and his all-male entourage have refused to talk to literally…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: September 6–12
September 6, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor ARIES: You already know you’re the main character. Show that off with an obnoxiously loud SFU crest tie. Wear it to class. Wear it to the beach. Wear it in the shower. Signal to Beedie…
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Carter’s Declassified SFU Survival Guide
August 13, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Staff Writer Congratulations on starting or returning to your SFU adventure in Fall 2021! Things have changed since the last time we were all on campus. As your humble guide, I’m here to help prepare you. Before…
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Reckless and loud driver offers his tragic backstory
August 7, 2021By: Jacob Mattie, Peak Associate While crossing the street near SFU Surrey campus, a few of The Peak staff narrowly avoided being run over by a car. It was so loud that it gave enough warning to get out of…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]