HUMOUR
Which Metro Vancouver mayor are you?
June 13, 2025By: Acting Chief of Apologies and Lawn Signs Metro Vancouver mayors are more than just civic leaders; they’re a cast of characters from a random political sitcom none of us asked to be a part of. Whether they’re beefing with the BC government, filing defamation lawsuits, or being paid in gold bars (probably), these leaders are here to provide solace, so you know you aren’t the only one making questionable life choices. Which Metro Van mayor are you most like? Take this quiz to find out. 1. A scandal breaks out. How do you react? File a defamation lawsuit, hold…
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My letter to the News Editor: It’s time to put the fake back in news
June 13, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Concerned Staff Writer Dear Hannah (The Peak’s News Editor), I write to you today as both a concerned member of the SFU student body and a staff writer for The Peak. With every passing day, I become…
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My hear me out cake
June 9, 2025By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate Times New Roman (size 12) This font has gyatt to be the original “hear me out.” With its classy formatting and fancy lowercase “a,” this is definitely the most bangable of the fonts. You cannot…
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Peak Speaks: Answers from r/simonfraser!
June 9, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Q: If you had to marry a building on campus, which one would it be and why? u/Matt_The_Slime: “Marry the library, wait for it to die from asbestos poisoning, take all its money after. EZ.”…
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JOB AD: AQ Accident Control Officer
June 4, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor and Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate Feel an urge to make a difference in the world? Do you have big muscles and are built like a Greek god? Are you ready to block student hooligans who…
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Italian-Estonian relations hit a bitter brew over Eurovision song
June 4, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Part-time barista Eurovision has presented the world with its fair share of entertaining spectacle. This year, the diversion presents a brewing controversy of the caffeinated kind. Estonian artist Tommy Cash’s performance of Estonia’s entry song, “Espresso Macchiato,”…
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The Peak’s Classifieds section
June 3, 2025By: Corbett Gildersleve, News Writer “chitter, growl, growl, snarl, chitter chitter howl, growl, shake, dig dig, sniff, chitter” Contact: trail of trash leading into the forest Found a “Sense of Joy” trapped in the water grates running along the…
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The Peak investigates: Mayonnaise mayhem
May 27, 2025By: Sarah Sorochuk, Investigative Journalist Dollar Tree has been caught selling squeeze bottles of mayonnaise for 25 cents a jar. What’s the reason? The scoop, or rather the spread, is within spoon’s reach. People have been making up their own…
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Five things to replace the SFU sign with
May 21, 2025By: Ashima Shukla, Postmodernist-in-Residence In a shocking yet unsurprising twist, SFU was recently robbed of its soul. No, not our collective conscience! The logo on the SFU welcome sign at the foot of the campus. The beloved red symbol of…
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