HUMOUR
Student updates: Spring 2024
January 23, 2024By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer Welcome back, students! Here’s to all that 2024 has in store. IN-PERSON CLASSES FORECASTED DURING SNOWSTORMS No matter how much snow tops the mountain, rest assured, classes will not be cancelled! Campuses will remain open and classes will continue as usual on days with heavy snow and fluff-filled precipitation. The buses will get stuck on the hill and dreaded delays are here to stay! Forget driving because your car will spin out before you even ascend to the highlands. The option of a “snow grade” will be available for those affected by mandatory in-person snow…
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SFSS Council’s Quest for a Rights-Free Utopia
January 23, 2024By: Sude Guvendik, Staff Writer Greetings, fellow students of wit, wisdom, and occasionally questionable decision-making! Let’s turn to another page of SFSS council drama, where on today’s episode, the SFSS Council, led by the daring president Liam Feng, contemplates the…
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GPA boosters are a joke
January 16, 2024By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer So you’re trying to boost your GPA, and you’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to save your grades is by taking some half-assed, easy-A course that will put you ahead of your…
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Elf on the Shelf causes post-holiday chaos
January 15, 2024By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer The attack of the oat milk foam, 9:02 a.m. I woke up to the sound of my Nespresso machine whirling. It was recently gifted to me under the name of “Santa,” which I decided to take…
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New year, same old hateful me
January 15, 2024By: Cam Darting, SFU Student Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate everything, why don’t you? Dear readers, as I lay in bed this whole winter break, the beautiful poem mentioned before played harmoniously throughout my head daily. It reminded…
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I bet you thought this would be a hairytale
January 10, 2024By: Mahla Rae, SFU student You only remember me when you want a bright new hair colour to make you feel cool, or a touchup to your contrasting roots to hide your true look. I know what you think of…
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Horoscopes January 8 – 12
January 8, 2024By: C Icart, Humour Editor Aries March 21–April 19 IN: Rewatching Riverdale season 6. Do it for the superpowers. OUT: Stirring your tea with a fork (seriously, why do you do that?). Taurus April 20–May 20 IN: Covering the dead…
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One prediction for each month of 2024
January 8, 2024By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer January: The Peak will NOT publish an issue to start the semester Face it — everyone’s tired, we’re still hungover from the holidays, and another semester is about to start. We’re not doing any work.…
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Horoscopes: November 27–December 1
November 28, 2023By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer With the winter solstice fast approaching, you better bundle up, get your skookum snow shovel out, and prepare to dive into the holiday chaos that’s about to ensue. Aries: March 21–April 19 Winter camping is…
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Why aren’t you answering my texts?
November 28, 2023By: Sharon Ha, SFU student Dear ghoster, Decades and centuries ago, all someone could do was cut you off in-person. Now they can leave you on read, delete the message thread, block you . . . But that’s not the…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]