Gary Lim
World of News!: March 19th
March 19, 2012By Sylvester Wallace Several reports are coming out of the Shell building in residence regarding the sighting of the rare and elusive seventh year student, a creature whose existence has long been speculated by prominent anthropology majors. The last sighting of the mythical creature was in 2009, when a christian club spotted a shadowy figure in a bath-robe hunched over one of the sandwich trays. However this was never substantiated. More recently, what was thought to be a seventh year’s nest was discovered in the basement of McTaggart-Cowan Hall. Tucked away in a storage closet, custodial workers found thesis drafts,…
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Hey baby, what’s your sign?
March 12, 2012You’re in a club. You spot someone smiling at you from across the bar. You sidle up to her, and your mind goes blank. Totally blank. The blankest blank. So you resort the oldest line in the book: Hey baby,…
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Campus Update: March 12th
March 12, 2012SFU Lipdub to start filming, UBC on moon Excitement is high amongst all three campuses as the long-awaited SFU Lipdub is slated to finally begin filming, 11 months after the release of the UBC Lidub. UBC president Stephen Toope wished…
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Mystic Gary: The Electric Company
March 5, 2012By Gary Lim Dear Mr. “Mystic” Gary Limbinowitz, This is the final notice you will be receiving from Santech Power. Your residency has failed to pay the outstanding charges on your electricity bills for the past three (3) months.…
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Campus Update: February 27th
February 27, 2012>>Burnaby Mountain reclassified The Society of Orographers recently revoked Burnaby Mountain’s status as an official mountain, instead reclassifying it as a large hillock. Spokesperson for the society, Alan Jackson, told The Peak that the decision to change the status of…
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Listless: Alternate SFU Slogans
February 27, 2012By Gary Lim Now, as those of you who read the inferior sections of this paper might know SFU recently changed their slogans, from “Thinking of the Future“ to “Engaging the World” with the Envision SFU project. What you may…
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Good to Know! February 27th
February 27, 2012By Gary Lim Scientists at the Riesling Insitute for Research made a ground-breaking discovery yesterday by providing definite, undeniable, infallable proof that a kind and loving God does not, in fact, exist. Their research goes to show that any sort…
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