Conspiracy Theory
SFUnexplained: SFU works with other institutions to keep its student body here — and not in the ways you may think
Humour September 26, 2020By: Serena Bains, Staff Writer Have you ever thought about why those at the top of SFU make hundreds of thousands of dollars to ignore students? People have to wake up and realize that these top-dog figures could never be this rich and be this bad at their jobs — they are playing 4D chess, and they are 20 steps ahead. All of their perceived incompetence must be constructed. They’re ignoring all students because none of us are here through our own free will. They know we have no choice but to stay at SFU. Wake up, sheeple: We’re all…
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SFUnexplained: Former SFU president Andrew Petter replaced by suspicious look-alike during final term
Humour September 20, 2020By: Carter Hemion, Peak Associate Wake up, sheeple! Our beloved previous university president, Andrew Petter, has been replaced by a doppelgänger. For starters, Petter has not been seen in person for months. After a decade of hard work spent keeping…
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