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Gen Z learning Gen Alpha slang to beat “aging like milk” allegations
May 28, 2024A local Zoomer (they did not want to be referred to as such, but this is my article and I do what I want) accidentally walked into a middle school while they were looking for affordable housing and climate crisis solutions. This caused them to realize that even though they don’t include the pandemic years (yeah, all four of them) in their age, Gen Alpha does. “Oh my God, bestie, the oldest Gen Alphas are turning 14 this year and I suppose this means they can talk now!” exclaimed Zoomer in an interview with The Peak (no, I don’t get…
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Horoscopes May 27 – June 2
May 27, 2024Aries March 21–April 19 “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers Listen, who are you trying to kid? You’re gonna show up to the bar insisting you’ll sing a different song, but you won’t. You’re a creature of habit, and the rest…
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Peakie gets outdoorsy
May 20, 2024Dear Peakie, I want to preface this by saying I was a runner before running became cool. I’ve been in the pain cave, I’ve had nasty blisters, I’ve pooped in unfortunate places. I am also a vegan, which makes me…
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The nice weather is back and so is Peakie
May 15, 2024Dear Peakie, I think it’s time for me to be brave and ask a question that I’ve been avoiding for years. 2024 is the year I don’t let anything hold me back. Asking questions is how we learn and grow…
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Get in girl, we’re serotoninmaxxing
May 12, 2024Dear diary, Today, I watched a reel of a mother telling her daughters to go outside via a parody of Jojo Siwa’s “Karma.” Although I’d like to flatter myself and say that sentence would give a Victorian child a stroke,…
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Horoscopes May 6 – 12
May 6, 2024Aries March 21–April 19 Just delete all your social media. You do not have the self-control to prevent yourself from typing, “must be nice spending your parents money insert face blowing a kiss emoji here” under an aesthetic Amsterdam pic…
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Local enby starting every conversation with “have you purchased my gift yet?” during their birthday month
March 26, 2024After 11 torturous non-birthday months, soon to be 25-year-old Blue Rose (again, totally not a pseudonym I am making up for myself) is finally back in their birthday era. In the tradition of Trina Vega, they are dead-set on making…
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STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA (part 3)
March 19, 2024Y’allllll. I don’t wanna hear it, I don’t wanna hear it! I know I’m posting this storytime late, but is it my channel or yours? That’s what I thought. Anyway, I’m not a full-time YouTuber anymore, that’s why I’ve been…
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Hate mail for my oral contraceptive
February 14, 2024Dear bitch — I mean pill, Listennnn, before anyone comes for me for coming for you, I will acknowledge that you don’t screw everyone over. But just because you’re playing nice with other people does not mean I don’t get…
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STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA (part 2)
February 6, 2024Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! Can I get a little commotion in the comments for my new background? I wanted to make sure y’all could see my luxury purses. We’ve come a long way since I was filming…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]