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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: June 28–July 4

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An illustration of a girl with long flowing hair. Astrological signs and stars shine around her.
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang / The Peak

By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor

ARIES: I have no groundbreaking recommendation for you because I know you’re going to ignore me and jump headfirst into the latest pop-garbage tune playing on the radio. Maybe give Olivia Rodrigo’s new album a chance — and no, I don’t mean just listen to “good 4 u” on repeat.

TAURUS: Just like Aries, are you really going to listen to my suggestion, or will you just replay the same punk-rock songs you listened to at 15? While Paramore’s self-titled album might encompass your whole personality right now, they do have new music. For the sake of everyone around you, please listen to some new music.

GEMINI: You’ll listen to absolutely anything, which makes your playlists the most chaotic thing I’ve ever seen. I promise you, there is no smooth transition from Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” to Childish Gambino’s “Sweatpants.” Since you’re open to listening to anything, why not try some hyperpop like “money machine” by 100 gecs? I’m sure it’s what the inside of your brain sounds like already.

CANCER: I know you’re looking for something to get you into your feelings, Cancer. Try listening to Bo Burnham’s album Inside (The Songs), or watch the Netflix special. Unsure if you should laugh, cry, or do both at the same time? Personally, I cocooned myself in a blanket and stared at a wall until I fell asleep. Sounds great, right?

LEO: Bleachers just released the upbeat summer tunes you’ve been waiting for. Songs like “How Dare You Want More” are perfect to scream along to as the main character. Like all indie artists, the peppy tune is just a mask for agonizingly sad lyrics you’ll need an English degree to understand. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

VIRGO: I’m not going to give you anything too all-over-the-place this week, Virgo. You should try listening to Lorde’s new single “Solar Power.” You can pretend you’re indie because it’s Lorde. In reality, this is the most mainstream pop song Lorde has ever produced in her life. 

LIBRA: You should listen to that TikTok cover of “As the World Caves In” by Sarah Cothran — specifically, the version with the girl who duets by singing “in dissonance.” You can join in on the argument about whether this rendition is good or terrible. But in all honesty, you have no idea, do you?

SCORPIO: Just because you’re a Scorpio does not mean I’ll assign you some death-metal band and leave it at that. No, you get to listen to the Cocomelon theme song on loop. Nothing is scarier than a tired 20-something-year-old who has a children’s song in their head.

SAGITTARIUS: You can choose any coming-of-age movie soundtrack this week, Sagittarius. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s indie. Add it to your playlist titled “Road Trip Mix” and listen while you drive five minutes to get an iced coffee. You haven’t gone anywhere in the last year and a half. Don’t lie to me. 

CAPRICORN: Writing 12 different entries is tough work, and unfortunately, you got the short straw this week. You’re like a goat or something, right? Go listen to goat music from The Mountain Goats or whatever comes up first when you search “goat” on Spotify. 

AQUARIUS: Elevator music. Like really bad jazz.

PISCES: Go to a bar, get drunk, and just scream “Bennie and the Jets.” Unlike 27 Dresses, you will be kicked out before even finishing the song. You’ll quickly forget what happened because your sister’s marrying the love of your life. Go stop her before it’s too late! (Or discover love was in front of you the whole time.)

Food for Thought: The rich Indigenous history of maple syrup

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Distilling Indigenous peoples’ roots to this sweet resource. Illustration: Alyssa Marie Umbal / The Peak

By: Sara Wong, Arts & Culture Editor

Of all the Canadian symbols in pop culture — poutine, plaid, polar bears, etc. — maple syrup is arguably the most iconic. It’s a source of national pride. There are even festivals devoted to this sweet, sticky substance. But despite its popularity, a majority of people do not know about the maple’s roots in Indigenous communities. 

Thanks to a recent ethnobotany course I took with SFU’s Indigenous studies department, I learned that maples are widely considered the leaders of trees. Maples are more than a symbol or resource for Indigenous peoples; they are a valuable connection to the land that is part of their cultural identity.

In Oneida culture, sugar camps hold ceremonies both before and after producing maple syrup. This is done “to honor the maple tree and for creation’s cooperation during the harvesting of the sap.” And in Anishinaabe oral history, maple sap comes with a lesson from Nanabozho (the Original Man). Robin Wall Kimmerer, member of the Potawatomi Nation, writes about Nanabozho’s teachings in her book, Braiding Sweetgrass. According to the book, people became obsessed with the abundance of syrup and forgot to care for the rest of the land. In response, Nanabozho diluted the syrup with water.

“Today, maple sap flows like a stream of water with only a trace of sweetness to remind the people both of possibility and of responsibility [ . . . ] we participate in its transformation. It is our work, and our gratitude, that distills the sweetness,” Wall Kimmerer writes.

When settlers learned how to extract maple syrup from the Indigenous peoples, they understood the work, but not the significance behind a harvest. And rather than respecting time-honoured practices, colonizers aimed to destroy them. Clearcutting land for urban development and forced assimilation resulting from the Indian Act of 1876 severely affected traditional maple sugaring. 

Settlers were eager to industrialize maple syrup because of its economic benefits. That remains the case today. The price of 100% pure Canadian maple syrup is noticeably more expensive than its artificial counterparts. At my local Whole Foods, a 360ml bottle of SweetLeaf’s “maple flavoured” syrup costs $8.49. Meanwhile, a similar-sized bottle of real maple syrup from Shady Maple Farms costs double

If you’re going to invest in the good stuff, consider looking outside the big box stores. Across Canada, Indigenous groups are reclaiming maple syrup, including here in BC with Kleekhoot Gold Bigleaf Maple Syrup.

A vast majority of Canada’s maple syrup is produced in the eastern and maritime provinces, so Kleekhoot Gold is truly something to treasure. Made by the Hupač̓asatḥ peoples on their traditional territories in the Alberni Valley, this maple syrup gets its unique vanilla and caramel flavours from local bigleaf maple trees. These are Canada’s largest maple trees, and in BC, they only grow on Vancouver Island’s west coast. 

Like other pure maple syrup makers, Kleekhoot Gold condenses the sap to a sugar content of 66%, so the syrup’s sweetness level is akin to other varieties. The one difference is that bigleaf maple syrup provides twice the amount of calcium and magnesium (read: extra health benefits) than other sugar maples. 

For more information on bigleaf maple trees, how the syrup is made, and when it can be purchased, check out Kleekhoot Gold’s website.

The colonial history of Canada Day

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Canada Day is a day marked by genocide, violence, and trauma. PHOTO: Renan Kamikoga / Unsplash

by Nancy La, Staff Writer

Content warning: residential schools, genocide, colonization, police and state violence

When I was in high school, most of what was taught about Canadian history was through the lens of European settlers and colonizers. I remember our class spending only an hour (out of the whole term) on Indigenous history and their experiences. The rest of class time was devoted to the British and French takeover and the War of 1812. This willful ignorance parallels (for the most part) the country’s own refusal to acknowledge its bloody past. 

The British North America Act established Canada as a country on July 1, 1867, four centuries after the first appearance of the Europeans on the east shores of what we now call Newfoundland. According to Canada’s website, Indigenous peoples and Europeans “coexisted” with “strong economic, religious, and military bonds” during this time. This statement oversimplifies the brutal truth behind the process of colonization. There’s no need to look far to see how incredibly immoral this statement is, with the recent confirmations of children’s remains at residential schools being broadcasted on the daily. By celebrating Canada Day, we are letting our sense of patriotism prevent us from seeing Canada’s reprehensible treatment of Indigenous communities. 

A year after being established in 1867, Canada Day —  then called “anniversary of Confederation” or “Dominion Day” — became a mandated statutory holiday. Making the celebration of a country based on genocide a state-enforced holiday is the ultimate act of colonial domination.

After nearly wiping out Indigenous populations with a lethal combination of foreign diseases (measles, smallpox, and influenza) and mass land theft in the 1830s, the government decided to have a celebration for Canadians to “show their pride in their history, culture and achievements.” Yet what achievements are there to be proud of, aside from blatant racism and discrimination? 

Flash forward to 2017, iconically remembered as the 150th anniversary of Canada’s founding as a state. People proudly displayed maple leaf paraphernalia in parades and watched fireworks explode on Parliament Hill. Meanwhile, Human Rights Watch submitted a report on the fraught relationship between the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) and the Indigenous communities they were supposed to serve. All the elements of suppression mentioned above, on top of the RCMP’s role in enforcing residential schools by forcing children to attend them, help “[fuel] the strong mistrust, suspicion, and resentment many Indigenous people continue to feel towards law enforcement.” 

The report further elaborated on the practice of “starlight tours,” where police officers in Saskatchewan drove Indigenous peoples to the outskirts of the city and left them there, only to make them walk home in the middle of winter, exposing them to hypothermia. As the nation celebrated its colonial heritage, that same heritage was responsible for the “present-day patterns of violence against Indigenous women and girls, and police failures to respond to such violence.” This parallel between the Human Rights Watch report and the open celebration in 2017 highlights the duplicitous nature of Canadian patriotism. The nation would rather choose ignorance of the state’s wrongs against Indigenous communities over the moral and ethical obligations to right those wrongs. 

An example of such ignorance took place in 2019 with the release of another report on Murdered and Missing Indigenous Women and Girls (MMIWG). Chief commissioner Marion Buller pointed out the violence on Indigenous peoples is a “national tragedy of epic proportions.” He went on to say the tragedy is the government’s unwillingness to grant the commission the extension it needed for a more thorough investigation. 

It is ironic that the government established the commission while refusing to give the commission the time it needed for a more comprehensive report. This points to an inherent unwillingness of the state to acknowledge its faults in its relationship with Indigenous communities and the desire to keep up appearances of reconciliation. As Buller puts it, by not granting the extension, “governments chose to leave many truths unspoken and unknown.” 

When the MMIWG report came out, it called the violence inflicted upon Indigenous peoples, especially women, girls, and Two-Spirit community members, a “Canadian genocide.” It also described the state’s behaviours towards Indigenous communities as “rooted in colonialism and colonial ideologies.” These behaviours are “built on the presumption of superiority, and utilized to maintain power and control over the land and the people by oppression and, in many cases, by eliminating them.” 

These reports are tragic and painful reminders that the state we are living in has never stopped its suppression and mistreatment of Indigenous peoples. As much as we like to think Canada has rid itself of its colonial past, the blood of colonization remains on its hands. 

Canada Day is a day marked by genocide, violence, and trauma. National pride, the main driver behind celebrating Canada Day, is just an excuse to ignore the brutality and violence this country inflicts upon its people. It’s easier to party than it is to look at the ugly truth behind this country’s nice façade. 

Canada has been taking the easy way out for its entire existence. Groups like Idle No More are calling for Canada Day to be cancelled and instead implore people to honour all the lives lost to the Canadian State. By cancelling Canada Day, the state will be taking part in reconciling with history and facing its own mistakes. Only by change can this country be better, and striving for improvement is something Canadians can be proud of.

If you do decide on waving the red and white maple leaf flag on July 1, think about how much violence and trauma stands behind those two colours

 

Need to Know, Need to Go: June 28–July 4

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Illustration of a blue calendar, with "Need to Know, Need to Go" written on top
Arts & Culture events to catch around the city. Image courtesy of Brianna Quan

By: Sara Wong, Arts & Culture Editor

Vancouver International Jazz Festival | June 25–July 4 | Cost varies | Online and in person

Jazz lovers rejoice! This year’s festival lineup includes over 100 concerts. With both virtual and in-person options, you can enjoy a live show while having brunch at Gastown’s Water St. Cafe one day and listen to an Amsterdam power trio from home the next. The Coastal Jazz website offers a virtual calendar with a number of helpful filters for all the free and ticketed performances. For more information on this year’s festival, head to their website.

Hive 2021: Flight Paths | July 1–4, 2:00–5:00 p.m. | FREE | Online

In this choose-your-own-adventure series of events, audiences can pick from 12 different interactive shows, sorted into four “flight paths”: home, location, phone, and travel. Those in the home and phone categories are designed to be stationary — you can participate from your couch, bedroom, or any other cozy spot. Meanwhile, the location and travel categories offer more active events, like a walk that re-imagines your neighbourhood as the setting of an ancient Persian myth. Attendees may book up to six shows per day. To register and learn more about the performances, visit Hive’s website.

World UFO Day | July 2–25 | FREE | Outsiders and Others, Hastings St. location

The Outsiders and Others gallery features nontraditional or underrepresented artists. Their UFO Day event is no exception. Each of the five participating artists — Ralph Heading, Jujube Jacinto, Jen O’Connor, Hong Park, and the late Lex Kinast — explore the otherworldly in their work. This exhibit can be viewed both indoors and outdoors. If checking out the exhibit from the gallery’s front window, a QR code will bring up more information about the artists and their pieces. If you want to go inside the gallery, you must book an appointment first. Contact [email protected] for more details.

Organizing for a Police-free World | July 3, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. | FREE | Zoom

As part of SFPIRG’s transformative justice series, this interactive workshop will explore how individuals can organize “for transformative justice, mutual aid, and defunding the police.” Participants can engage in brainstorming sessions, panel discussions, skill-sharing, and more. The goal is to “reflect on the possibilities for grassroots organizing in our neighbourhoods and workplaces.” The event is taking place over Zoom and ASL interpretation is available. Attendees must register in advance through SFPIRG’s website.

Monday Music: Filipino Heritage Month edition

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"Monday Music" in giant yellow block letters with a red background
Monday Music: your weekly themed playlist. Image courtesy of The Peak.

By: Charlene Aviles, Peak Associate

June is Filipino Heritage Month, a time to celebrate the cultural diversity in the Philippines and honour those who fought for the country’s independence from Spain and the United States. Music is an essential part of Filipino culture, as reflected by the harana, the tradition of suitors courting Filipinas through serenades. This playlist features songs about love’s risk, commitment, and the honeymoon phase. Regardless of how you decide to celebrate Filipino Heritage Month, I hope these songs inspire you to continue learning about Filipinx culture.

“Everlasting” by Albert Posis

Image courtesy of Albert Posis

Albert Posis’ song “Everlasting” conveys the struggle of asking out a friend. The gentle guitar and snaps create an uplifting beat, which represents Posis’ optimism that his friend has mutual feelings. When he raises his pitch to sing the line, “Honestly I’m not afraid to say what we could be,” he admits he is prepared for whatever the reaction will be. And when he increases the tempo to sing, “If I tell you, you might shut me down / But if I don’t you may not come around,” it reflects his temporary hesitation before he reassures himself. You can tell that love outweighs his fear of rejection when he sings his heart out during the line, “Cause it’s killing me to set all these emotions aside.”

“Lemonade” by Jeremy Passion

Image courtesy of Jeremy Passion

When my friends and I have our ukuleles and guitars, Jeremy Passion’s “Lemonade” is our go-to song. Passion’s relaxing ukulele strumming makes me imagine Passion and his partner relaxing on the beachfront, away from outside distractions. In contrast to summer’s extreme heat, Passion describes his girlfriend as soothing, crooning the line “like a tall glass of lemonade [ . . . ] She’s exactly what I need.” Singing about challenges he’s faced, he credits her for helping him grow. It reminds me of how couples challenge each other to achieve their goals, regardless of how long or difficult the journey will be.

“17” by Pink Sweat$ featuring Moira Dela Torre

Image courtesy of Atlantic Recording Corporation

Pink Sweat$ and Moira Dela Torre’s duet explains that both partners must be equally committed to maintain a relationship. The piano’s steady tempo reflects the couple’s calmness; they feel relaxed because their partner’s presence reassures them. When Pink Sweat$ sings “I’ll never lie to you / Just don’t you hold back on me,” it reflects the balance of give-and-take in a relationship. With lyrics like “I wanna love you as strong when we’re ninety-two / The same as seventeen,” they express that their feelings are more than infatuation and that they intend to support each other regardless of future trials.

What Grinds Our Gears: Switching Breakout Rooms without warning

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Photo courtesy of stockgiu via Vecteezy.com

By: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate

Since SFU began holding classes remotely, many instructors have been using Zoom to hold live classes. Zoom is a great tool, and I’m glad we can (kind of) simulate in-person settings with it, like dividing people into groups via the “Breakout Room” function for discussions.

While I think it’s great that Zoom meeting hosts can easily shift people around in these groups, I don’t appreciate it when they suddenly move someone to another Breakout Room without a heads-up. To clarify, I understand there could be several legitimate reasons why the host would do so, whether it’s fixing an uneven distribution, being short on time to spend with each group, or thinking a person might fare better with other individuals.

However, it can be very disruptive. I’ve been in situations where either I, another student, or our TA was moved without warning. As a result, we all entered different groups during their conversations without knowing the discussion’s context, thus awkwardly needing to be caught up. I kid you not — every single class our TA would be in the middle of explaining something, only to be whisked away from our group to another and cut-off .

Please, if you want to move someone to another Breakout Room, all I ask is you refrain from doing so without warning. 

 

Rainbow capitalism does more harm than good

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Pride Month brings corporate exploitation of queer issues for profits.  PHOTO: Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak

By: Carter Hemion, Staff Writer

Rainbow capitalism, a marketing strategy that commodifies Pride, largely harms LGBTQIA2S+ people. Every June, large corporations don rainbows to increase profits, just to forget about us the rest of the year. They often take little to no action to support our needs unless it’s convenient for them, and they may even work to take away our rights.

While there are a few ways LGBTQIA2S+ people may profit off rainbow capitalism, the harm done far outweighs these small benefits. Some companies offer a small portion of sales or a one-time donation to LGBTQIA2S+ non-profits as part of their campaigns to promote a supposed commitment to diversity. This only gives us short-term support, and then we’re swept aside until the next Pride Month. Additionally, non-profits can exploit their workers under capitalism, so even the corporations boasting support for us contribute to the oppressive system that holds us down. 

Other LGBTQIA2S+ organizations profit from running these tokenizing advertisements, while benefitting from the commodification of Pride to support their work. In a few cases, the companies involved may even take tangible actions to support LGBTQIA2S+ people, like developing programs to include more trans employees or changing their insurance policies to equally benefit employees’ same-sex partners. However, this often benefits the most privileged in the community — namely white and cis community members.

Many companies that boast their faux allyship are completely disingenuous. The companies that change their logos to rainbows don’t do so in countries where LGBTQIA2S+ people are less accepted, reminding us that rainbows are only valuable to companies when they match their social climate. 

Companies including AT&T, The Coca-Cola Company, General Motors, Anheuser-Busch, and NBCUniversal continue to donate profits to anti-LGBTQIAS2+ causes while showing off oodles of rainbow flags. These actions are hypocritical and harm our community under the guise of promoting diversity. How can we trust the rainbow in a logo when the same company pays for our continued oppression?

Companies promoting rainbow capitalism insult and discredit prior generations of LGBTQIA2S+ activists. Our history is rife with violent oppression. We continue to experience higher rates of unemployment, workplace discrimination, and poverty — this especially impacts BIPOC community members

Earlier in our fight for equal rights, the Gay Liberation Front declared that “[we] identify ourselves with [ . . . ] all those oppressed by this rotten, dirty, vile, fucked-up capitalist conspiracy.” Our liberation movements need to continue rejecting capitalism. Pride is not a time for companies to market to us and sanitize our stories while making us more palatable in this capitalist shitshow.

Where possible, we can buy from businesses run by our community members and reject the notion that rainbow capitalism was ever about Pride. We can continue sharing information about the ways rainbow capitalism is harmful and the corporations that take part in it. Those who are able to can help by boycotting the corporations that take advantage of Pride Month. Pride is a celebration of queer joy, not a promotion of capitalism.

Access for All advocates for SFU to provide a safer environment proposal in their return-to-campus plan

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PHOTO: Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak

Written by: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer

SFU released its four-stage reopening plan on May 26, 2021. In stage four, the plan proposes a 80–100% density return to campus for in-person learning. In response, Serena Bains, vice-president university and academic affairs of the Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS), introduced the Access for All campaign to SFU. 

The campaign brings forth concerns regarding campus reopening and how it would impact disabled, neurodiverse, immunocompromised people, BIPOC members, international students, and other marginalized groups. It makes calls to action for SFU, including:

  • Facilitating hybrid courses for all SFU classes during the Fall 2021 semester
  • Releasing a specific COVID-19 SFU reopening plan that would decrease infectious outbreaks, such as:
    • Social distancing measures in lecture halls
    • COVID-19 testing on campus
    • Making vaccines a priority for students
    • Making masks mandatory (with exceptions for disabled and/or neurodiverse people)

The campaign also lists the barriers that students may face with a campus return. 

Some examples include concerns about low-income countries’ lack of vaccine access for international students, who would face potential exposure to COVID-19 due to travel. Another concern is that transitioning solely to in-person delivery for courses will make courses less accessible, as online learning has closed captioning and asynchronous delivery. 

Access for All was originally created by the Society for Students with a Disability at the University of Victoria to address the BC COVID-19 Return-to-Campus Primer released on April 30, 2021. 

Bains found information about the Access for All campaign on social media, and contacted the organizers about implementing it at SFU. 

“We had a lot of concerns,” Bains said regarding the Go-Forward guidelines released by the province on June 1. While SFU states they will clean lecture halls daily, Bains noted there were no guidelines on cleaning between lectures — despite lecture halls returning to full capacity. Coupled with the province’s plan to make masks optional in September, the campaign highlights that students and faculty members will be at higher risk of infection.

Bains also worried members of the SFU community weren’t properly represented in the panel of experts for the Go-Forward guidelines. 

While SFU recommended that marginalized students have access to accommodations, Bains said they are not mandated by the university. “In my opinion, if SFU isn’t mandated or provided the resources, then they won’t commit to these things on their own accord.

“I think we need to recognize that before the pandemic, a lot of students were left behind in their education,” Bains said.

“SFU should commit to consulting with students, staff, and faculty for their return to campus plans.” They said SFU should rethink making plans according to the province’s.

“I don’t think one’s morality should rely on legislation, especially if you have the resources to provide a safe environment to the community members you’re supposed to serve.”

On June 16, Council had drafts of letters prepared for the SFU administration and the province in support of Access for All. They are currently asking for signatures from students. 

Concert livestreaming shouldn’t end after the pandemic

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Live music can be enjoyed from multiple venues. Image: Anthony Delanoix / Unsplash

By: Paige Riding, Copy Editor

Growing up in a small town, local concert announcements usually were for washed up ‘80s bands or Wiggles knockoffs. If I wanted to see an artist perform, it involved forking out the money for a plane ticket or driving eight hours to get to Vancouver. Now that the pandemic altered the concert experience and introduced livestreams, this inconvenience has disappeared. These livestreams allow more people to watch shows and enjoy the music that moves them.

Folks can watch their favourite drummer give an epic performance and listen to a singer belt with fervour, all while remaining in a comfortable, accessible environment away from the risks concerts pose. 

The good pair of headphones you bought to listen to your professor talk about neurons would sound a lot better with live music playing from them. With a cameraman recording the musicians closer than most of the audience could, the best seat in the house might just be on your La-Z-Boy at home. Why should this trend end after the pandemic? If it’s a way of allowing more people to listen to more music in ways that make them comfortable, I believe we’d be better for it.

This is not to say I won’t be heading to the Vogue or any other fantastic Vancouver venue as soon as my ears can be blasted by those huge speakers in person again. It’s quite the opposite since there’s nothing like screaming your favourite lyrics while jumping alongside other fans — but that’s just me saying this after almost two years without a concert. There are times at shows where your feet are aching, the jerk in front of you insists on holding their phone in your way the whole time, and you’re stuck in a long lineup when you really need to pee. If after my concert drought ends and I know a band is playing on the other side of town, the option to purchase a viewing pass and remain at home would be fantastic.

Livestreams are no replacement for live music. The artist is not in the same room as you. The crowd is not pushing against you, amping you up for the encore. It is, however, a way to help more people listen to more music in a way that makes them comfortable. What better way to help people feel like they can share in these experiences than to adapt from pandemic life and move forward?

I don’t want a “coming out” story

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Coming out does not have to be a big event. ILLUSTRATION: Maple Sukontasukkul / The Peak

by Cynthia Piña, SFU Student

Ever since high school, I had my suspicions I wasn’t straight. I brushed it off for years, but I eventually came to understand and accept that part of me. As I embraced this aspect of my identity, I felt an unnerving pressure to suddenly come out to everyone around me. It felt like I needed to create a list of names of who to come out to. I needed to find a time, place, and set the scene for my big reveal. But the more people I told about my sexuality, the more I felt like I was sharing a part of me I didn’t need to. 

I kept questioning why people needed to know my sexual orientation and why I had to come out simply to erase their perception that I was straight. 

I understand coming out is important to many people, and that’s great! I also know coming out is an important aspect of LGBTQIA2S+ history and visibility. However, there was a weight inside of me — when should I tell them? How will they respond? Even though I suspected my friends would be supportive, I felt like I needed their explicit acceptance. 

I was plagued by anxiety, hoping no one would see me differently. I wanted the validation that, regardless of my sexuality, people would still love me just the same. Gradually, I realized I didn’t care. Whether they saw me differently or not was their perception of me, not mine. 

Some of my experiences coming out to people were better than others. Regardless of how anyone reacted, I felt like something was off. I was never really satisfied. Most of the time, I didn’t feel a magical weight lifted off my chest. I just felt like they knew me a little better. I had opened a very personal part of myself, perhaps when I didn’t need to. 

What started to bother me was the new access I had given people into my personal life. Even my fellow queer friends would ask me about who I was going to date next, as if I could simply decide who the next person I fell for would be. 

For a while, I felt like a fraud for not wanting to have a huge coming out story for my family. I don’t particularly see myself ever standing in the kitchen, nervously waiting to tell my parents about my sexuality. But after all, wasn’t coming out supposed to be a part of the queer journey? Aren’t my parents either supposed to go into acceptance or denial? In turn, won’t their response shape my identity? After years of consuming media that was focused on coming out, I thought it was just something I was supposed to do. If I didn’t have some grand coming out, I supposed that meant I was hiding and in the closet. I told myself I simply wasn’t “ready,” until I realized I just don’t really care about telling some people. 

It’s not that I don’t want people to know my sexuality because I’m ashamed — I’m not. I’m very happy, proud, and comfortable with myself. I know that in romantic relationships, I prefer for my partner to know my sexuality. However, outside of that, I don’t feel like disclosing my sexuality and don’t feel the need to. I don’t actively try to hide it unless there are circumstances that require me to do so. Among friends, I might bring it up if I feel like it — or maybe I won’t. I just think we should all collectively stop assuming everyone is straight unless told otherwise. 

I don’t feel the need to come out and tell the world about who I’m capable of loving. I think it’s beautiful that I can love multiple genders. I don’t care for the whole world to know this aspect of me. I’m enjoying being quietly queer however I want to be. It has taken me long enough to realize that these are valid feelings. 

If you want to explicitly come out to people, then do so! However, for those who aren’t ready, who may put themselves in unsafe situations, or who simply don’t want to — that’s also fine. Part of my experience may be shaped by the fact that, because I am attracted to multiple genders, in some cases, I would appear to be in a heterosexual relationship. However, it’s not a requirement of the LGBTQIA2S+ community to have a coming out story. We should all be free to be queer in whatever way we want to be.