By Jacob Samuel at The Daily Snooze
Good to Know! February 27th
By Gary Lim
Scientists at the Riesling Insitute for Research made a ground-breaking discovery yesterday by providing definite, undeniable, infallable proof that a kind and loving God does not, in fact, exist. Their research goes to show that any sort of universally benevolent force, not only God but angels, mother nature, or the spirits of one’s ancestors, could not exist within what is currently known to comprise the universe. The scientists go on to say that the general population will take the knowledge well that they are existing on motes of dust floating around tiny specks of light the vast unfeeling emptiness of space, until their souless carbon forms succumb to the decay of time.
—Dawson Richardson
Game review: Resident Evil: Revelations
By Edward Mah
Well-made overall, with its biggest downfall being the limiting atmosphere factor of the Nintendo DS
There’s been a flood of zombie media lately, such as Walking Dead, World War Z, and Dead Rising, that have spawned and devoured pop culture. Resident Evil is more of an alpha zombie that’s infected the hordes to come. As the recent title Resident Evil: Revelations shows, being first can have its advantages.
Revelations picks up just before the beginning of the last full entry with fan favorite Jill and newcomer Parker at the helm. The duo finds themselves on an abandoned cruise searching for answers about Terragrigia, a futuristic city decimated by a bio-weapon attack. Considering the series is unnecessarily convoluted, Revelations is a step back in the right direction with a streamlined plot and a simpler, self-contained story that welcomes newcomers to the franchise.
Campaign sections are broken into chapters reminiscent of a TV show, using flashbacks to cutscenes in the previous chapter. Gameplay focuses on tight corridor shooting and overwhelming players with careful enemy placement. Capcom has stuck to its tried and true formula, using low ammo counts and occasional boss battles to keep gamers on the edge of their seat.
The visuals of Revelations are simply stunning with a fantastic attention to detail on display. The lighting is brilliant, setting the eerie mood each time players take a trip into an abandoned hallway. Capcom has again forgone zombies as enemies but the hideous creatures players will encounter are plenty scary as they are covered in oozing blood and spikes.
This is extremely unusual but the biggest problem Resident: Evil Revelations suffers from is its platform. The 3DS is a great machine and Revelations is a very good game.
The plaguing issue that keeps arising is that survival horror games thrive on creating atmosphere, something that’s impossible to maintain if the user is sitting on a bus or in a coffee shop. It doesn’t make the game bad, just more difficult to enjoy.
Resident Evil Revelations isn’t for everyone but gamers that can find a quiet space to frighten themselves will enjoy the wet and wild ride.
Movie review: Goon
Another lively addition to the genre of testosterone-fuelled ‘not a boy, not yet a man’ flicks
Seann William Scott stars in Goon as Doug, a lovable club bouncer whose lack of direction in life is his parents’ biggest disappointment. After attending a local hockey game with his quirky and socially inappropriate friend (Jay Baruchel, also co-writer of the screenplay with Evan Goldberg) and getting into a fistfight with one of the players, the coach shows interest in Doug and invites him to attend a practice.
Despite his complete lack of talent for hockey, Doug makes it big when the Halifax Highlanders take him on to protect Laflamme (Marc-André Grondin), a nimble hockey star who lost his nerve after a fight on the ice with Ross Rhea (Leiv Schreiber), a player infamous for his punches. Laflamme spirals into a lifestyle of drugs and womanizing and, despite his initial scorn towards Doug, the two eventually develop a camaraderie.
Additionally, Doug manages to woo Eva (Alison Pill), a cute-as-a-button girl who hangs around bars, sleeps with hockey players, and cheats on her boyfriend. Their courtship is adorable at times, funny at times, and sad at times, but overall it adds a certain touch to the general plotline.
The main strength of the movie lies in the characters: the hockey team is made up of quirky characters, from a recently divorced team captain to a pair of Russian brothers. The interactions between them result in hilarious antics, and the audience is drawn to follow them as their team spirit grows and they start to appreciate one another, especially Laflamme and Doug.
Doug is good-natured, but dumb, and elicits sympathy and support from the audience, while Seann William Scott does an excellent job of portraying an oblivious, but caring, character.
Overall, the movie will definitely elicit some chuckles, and the humour is steady throughout. It also has the benefit of being part of the relatively rare genre of sports comedies, with a screenplay by one of the co-writers of Superbad and Pineapple Express.
This being said, however, there is not much more than that; Goon is a good movie to see if you’re not looking for much more than some laughs and some original characters. There is nothing spectacular about it: it is meant to be lighthearted and humourous, and it hits the mark in this sense, but it does not go far beyond that.
Track team continues strong season at Indoor Championships
Last week, the SFU track and field team headed to Idaho to compete in the GNAC Indoor Championships. They came home with plenty to show for it.
The Clan entered as potential favourites in a number of events, particularly the distance medley relays where both the men’s and women’s sides were ranked number one going in — and neither side would have to wait long to get their opportunity.
Both sides raced on the first day of the champiosnhips, and both sides came away victorious. Keir Forster opened the race for the Clan, followed by Stuart Ellenwood, Adam Reid, and anchored by Ryan Brockerville. Brockerville quite literally ran the race of his life, setting a new personal best on his leg of the race. Meanwhile the quartet’s time of 10:04.48 set a new meet record, and gave the Clan the victory.
On the women’s side, the team of Lindsey Butterworth — fresh off GNAC Athlete of the Week honours — followed by Abbey Vogt, Sarah Sawatzky, and Michaela Kane earned another victory for SFU, finishing with a top time of 12:11.42.
“Our team’s performance was great [on the first day],” said head coach Brit Townsend. “We have the smallest team here and are getting some great results.
“Our goal was to come away with some strong performances to build a foundation . . . to match the top schools.”
The Clan’s success continued on day two, earning two second-place finishes and one more win. Andrea Abrams ran well enough to earn second place in the 60-metre hurdle event, while Brockerville did the same in his mile-long race.
Butterworth, who has been a star for the Clan all season, and in just her second year, earned the team’s final victory with a one-second victory over Seattle Pacific’s Heidi Laabs-Johnson in the one-mile race. To round out her weekend, she finished fourth just behind teammate Michaela Kane in the 800-metre race.
All in all, it was a very productive weekend for the Clan, and they are no doubt well on their way to asserting their spot as one of the top teams in the conference. And now, with the 2012 GNAC season officially in the books, the Clan have
the opportunity to make their mark on the outdoor season come March.
Rings of honour
At half time of the men’s basketball game against MSU-Billings, the men’s soccer team was honoured for their historic 2012 season. The Clan finished the year with 18 wins to just one tie, finishing not only atop the GNAC standings, but also as the number-one ranked team in the NCAA Division II. The list of accolades is truly incredible; from Carlo Basso being named GNAC co-player of the year to Alan Koch being named the conference’s best coach, the Clan deserved every ounce of respect heaped upon them on Thursday.
It’s been a while since the Clan earned their final, record-setting win of the season back in November, but the Clan were finally presented with their GNAC-champion rings in a presentation headed by SFU president Andrew Petter.
“I knew tonight was going to be special,” said Koch, “but tonight was honestly the most amazing experience.
“To see all those people there — from the president down to the fans — was incredible. We really felt a great wave of SFU pride.”
As the team exited the West Gym floor to the familiar tune of SFU bagpipes, they received a standing ovation from the Clan faithful at the game. For some, it was a remarkable way to cap off their SFU careers.
“I’ve had a lot of great times here,” said graduating senior Carson Gill, “ but it’s extra special this year. Going out like this . . . it’s incredible. I felt like I’ve left my mark and now I’ve got a memory to take with me.”
And while some, like Gill, get to look back on what was, it’s almost time again to look ahead and prepare for next year.
“It was a fantastic season,” said Basso. “Everything about it, except maybe that one tie, was fantastic. But we can’t sit on this because this is just a starting point.”
Quite a good one, you could say, but it’s hard to imagine the bar could be set any higher.
“We want to win a national championship,” added Basso. “Hopefully we can do that next year, but we won’t be happy until we get it.”
Given the structure of the GNAC, that could be an impossibility, but that, like most things in the GNAC, isn’t stopping Basso and the Clan.
“We’re a competitive group of guys, especially with each other,” he said. “We’re always getting better; we’re always pushing each other to be better.
“We’ll improve; we’ll take it one game at a time like we did this year, but until we get that championship we won’t be content with anything else.”
Needless to say, the Clan are motivated to improve on what truly was incredible season — one that seems almost impossible to improve upon. For now, though, the Clan deserve their praise — but don’t think for a second they’re about to bask in it.
“It seems like it’s been a long time since our last game,” said Koch, “and maybe it has, I’m not keeping track. But, am I ever proud of this group of guys. But this almost feels like last
year’s team now. Every year is a brand new one, and we start all over again.”
Clan stung by Yellowjackets
A jump shot is nothing special. It’s something the Clan have practiced their entire lives; it’s the product of continuous repetition. Methodically, and in their own style, each creates space to rise up and follow-through. At this point in their basketball careers, they are simply expected to shoot the ball without fear and without hesitation.
In a tumultuous seasons marred by injuries and losses that have pushed the undermanned Clan out of playoff contention, the team is also still expected to play without fear and without hesitation. With an 8–16 overall record, compared to Montana State University – Billings’s 14–10 record, the Clan had nothing to lose and all the pride to gain in Thursday night’s match against the Yellowjackets.
With their last meeting against MSU still on their minds, a game in December in which the Billings fought back from a 19-point deficit at halftime to eventually beat the Clan by three, the second to last match of the Clan’s season was also a chance for the Clan to exact revenge against their opposition.
Thursday’s game, however, proved to be a night of shooting woes and defensive errors for the Clan.
The ‘Jackets got hot early, breaking out for a couple of fast-break layups, as well as two consecutive threes, causing SFU to call a timeout within the first four minutes of the game. Before things could get out of hand, the Clan applied an aggressive full-court press to shut down MSU’s transition offense. With the Clan’s ability to refocus defensively, and getting much-needed hustle and drives to the basket from forward Jordan Sergent, MSU could never completely pull away early on. And with a swooping reverse layup around two defenders, Justin Brown finally gave the Clan their first lead, a 38–37 edge with less than two minutes to go in the first half. Despite these efforts, a buzzer beating tap-in basket by MSU’s leading scorer, Antoine Proctor, gave the Billings the momentum going into the half.
With his blinding crossover and fearless attack at the basket, the second-half saw Justin Brown trying to keep the Clan in the game almost singlehandedly. With another one of his body-contorting reverse finger-rolls around MSU’s agile big men, Brown tied the game at 49–49 early in the second. But with 15 minutes left in the second half, it seemed as though MSUB simply lifted their offense to another level. The Yellowjackets were able to capitalize on four straight turnovers by the Clan, giving them a couple of fast-break layups and pull-up jumpers to extend their lead. To add to the Clan’s woes, MSUB continued pulling down offensive rebounds, kicking the ball back out for two consecutive three point field goals, and a 63–51 lead for the Billings with 11 minutes left in the second-half.
Never losing their composure, the Clan were able to battle back, even coming within five points with nine minutes to go. Although Brown and Lewis continued to be aggressive, MSUB’s hot outside shooting, pushing their lead to 20 with two minutes left to play, proved too much for the Clan to handle. As the case has been all season, a strong first half went to waste and the Clan suffered another loss.
“We played one half of basketball today,” said sophomore guard John Bantock on his team’s inconsistency throughout the game. “They just outrebounded us in the second half, [we] didn’t shoot the ball very well, [and] didn’t really play any defense.”
“There’s no excuses, it was just a bad game, really,” Bantock said when asked about his team’s mentality going into the final game of the season. “[We just] have to come with a whole new different attitude to the next game.”
But a whole new attitude may not be what the Clan need. They could use some manpower for one, but as the season wraps up, as cliché as it may sound, it’s the heart and drive of the team that’s got them the few positives they’ve had. For this tirelessly working seven-man roster that has faced adversity all year long, it’s a tough loss to suffer. And although the season is over, next year will bring a fresh start that will be an opportunity to demonstrate a skill they practiced for their entire lives — the ability to rise back up and follow-through.
