<a href="https://the-peak.ca/2013/05/dsm-for-dummies/" rel="bookmark" title="DSM for dummies">DSM for dummies

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May 20, 2013

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A two letter word packing a lot of heat

By Ben Buckley
Photos by Ben Buckley

It always astounds me that, in this day and age, the majority of people — including well-educated members of society — don’t seem to understand what the word “if” means. The concept of implication is a subtle one I hope to clarify in this column.

Suppose I say the following: “If there are unicorns, then you will hear hoofbeats.” What evidence would you need to determine whether or not this statement is true? There are two ways to go about doing this. The first, most obvious way to do it, would be to search the entire universe for unicorns, and where there are unicorns, listen for hoofbeats. If you always hear hoofbeats when unicorns are present, the statement is true. But if, even once, there are unicorns but no hoofbeats, the statement is false.

There is another, less obvious way to verify the statement. The sentence, “if there are unicorns, then you will hear hoofbeats,” means the same as, “if you do not hear hoofbeats, then there are no unicorns” (its contrapositive). Stare at those sentences until you’re convinced that they mean the same thing.

This gives us another way of checking whether the statement is true. Simply search the entire universe for places where you do not hear hoofbeats. If, in every one of those places, there are no unicorns present, the statement is true. But if even one case occurs where the absence of hoofbeats is accompanied by a unicorn, the statement is false.
Here’s where it gets tricky: Assume our statement about unicorns is true. Suppose that you’re in the middle of a field, and you hear hoofbeats. What do you conclude? Intuitively, one’s first instinct might be to conclude that there is a unicorn nearby.

One would be wrong. The hoofbeats could just as easily be coming from a horse, a zebra, a centaur, or a hallucination generated by your own mind. Implication is a one-way street — unicorns imply hoofbeats, but hoofbeats don’t necessarily imply unicorns. An interesting thing is, in any statement insisting, “if A, then B” in which we know that B is always true, the statement is true whatever A is. For example, the statement, “if the moon is made of cheese, then one plus one is two” is technically true.

Unfortunately, this means that you can pair any statement you want with a true statement to make an argument that might convince an unwary listener. For instance, start with the sentence, “if climate change is a hoax, then it will sometimes snow.” This is true as long as snow exists somewhere. But if the speaker concludes that, since snow exists, climate change is a hoax, their conclusion is unjustified.

To make this valid, they would first have to establish the less obvious converse, “if it sometimes snows, then climate change is a hoax.” This would require actual work, so you can understand why people often skip this step. This fallacy is sometimes referred to as “affirming the consequent” and is just one of the many errors people make with the word “if.”

For a simple two-letter word, it can do a lot of damage. Perhaps someday, we will move past this error and be able to think with more clarity. If only, if only.

Voter apathy needs to stop

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May 20, 2013

Voting is important, so stop with the excuses

By Gloria Mellesmoen
Photos by Flikr

Those who choose not to participate in an election, because they equate voting for their preferred candidate to wasting their vote, are easily worse than those who vote for whichever party is currently the most hated.

In 2009 I participated in Student Vote BC — an official mock election for elementary and secondary schools across the province. It yielded 47 seats for the BC NDP, 24 for the BC Liberals, and 12 seats for the Green Party of BC. These “votes” were the voice of a new generation and reflected the issues that future voters cared about.

The media talked about our mock election and about what the changing political landscape would need to reflect as we came of age. We voted because we wanted our voices heard and believed that, even though it would not directly affect the results of the election, it was important.

I am 20 now and I still believe in the importance of voting, whether in a mock Student Vote election or the real thing. I voted for the Green Party because they represent several issues that I care about. I do not consider this to be a wasted vote like I have heard many of my peers refer to it as. Hell, the Green Party of BC won their first seat, which is pretty significant. Before I receive hate for not voting NDP in an election where it might have made a difference, my electoral district was called as NDP almost immediately after it appeared as the 85th to report.

Each vote is a word, and when you add them together at the end of the election, a story emerges. Though one vote for the BC Conservatives or Green Party of BC might not seem to matter in isolation, it does when added up. Abstaining on the grounds that your vote will not make a difference sends a message, too. A generation that does not vote is a generation that political parties will not have to worry about trying to please.

Through the majority of the campaign period, I heard my peers complain about the lack of attention to post-secondary education on the party platforms. We should not be surprised about this, given that the youngest demographic of voters generally has the lowest turnout. CTV is saying that the youth vote is virtually non-existent. This is a problem. Why should the election platforms focus on the issues important to a group that does not care enough to take five minutes to place a vote?

Many are also expressing disdain over social media for those who chose to vote for a candidate who was not affiliated with one of the main parties. Instead of directing anger at those who opted to vote for one of the smaller parties, blame should be rightfully placed on the shoulders of those who elected not to cast a ballot.

If I had a vote for every time I heard someone under 25 say their vote doesn’t matter, the election results would tell a markedly different story. This election proves that. If more people voted, I doubt we would have a Liberal majority.

BC fails to display political passion

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May 20, 2013

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We’re leading the way in voter apathy

By Alison Roach
Photos by Flikr

Well guys, we blew it. Not all of us, mind you. I’m talking about the people who have been eagerly touting change in BC for the past month, waving Anti-Clark flags, or even those who said Adrian Dix was simply the lesser of two evils. The Liberals will be governing us again, and as a majority government.

True, we didn’t see this one coming. The Liberals were trailing the NDP by as much as 20 points in the polls before campaigning began. Dissatisfaction appeared to be high. Many openly declared themselves to be not huge fans of “MILF,” Christy Clark. The NDP were described as heavily favoured, but in the election lost three seats to the Liberals. So what happened?

Clark herself lost her Vancouver-Point Grey riding to her NDP rival David Eby by 785 votes, and she wasn’t the only leader to lose. Conservative party leader John Cummins lost in Langley to the Liberal incumbent. BC Green leader Jane Sterk also failed to oust incumbent NDP Carole James from her Victoria-Beacon Hill riding. Adrian Dix is the only one who managed to hang on to his Vancouver-Kingsway seat.

Maybe it’s a case of people voting for their riding, not their province. Maybe Liberal supporters have been keeping quiet, slowly biding their time. Maybe polling doesn’t work.

What matters is that this election also had one of the lowest voter turnouts in history, at a meager 48 per cent. I’m not so great at math, but even I know that’s not even half. While my Facebook feed was clogged with happy proclamations of having “just voted!” and Instagrammed pictures of the stickers they gave out at the polling stations, only 48 per cent of British Columbians voted.

One of my roommates, another 20-something student, didn’t make it out to the polls. She explained that she would have voted Green, but she thought that was pointless. At this moment, another roommate openly wondered what would happen if every eligible voter who said that actually went out and voted. The BC Green Party did manage to capture its first ever provincial seat, with Andrew Weaver — a climate change scientist — winning by a huge margin in Oak Bay-Gordon Head.

It’s discouraging to see a province so full of ennui, one that doesn’t even trust its political party leaders enough to elect them in their own neighbourhoods. The Conservative party, supposedly one of the big four, didn’t win a single seat in the entire province. When you look at the map of the provincial ridings, the coast and Vancouver Island are overwhelmingly orange, with another splash of orange near the easternmost tip of the province. The huge bulk of red is right down the middle of the interior.

So Clark will be the face for our province once again, emerging from the flames with her helmet-like hairdo intact. I have it on good authority that she’s the type of person who tries to use her cell-phone on a plane, and right after take off too (source: I’m a flight attendant), but this is who we voted for. Overall, the election seems to be saying that BC doesn’t care much about change; or rather, that we don’t care much about any of this.

Target is a neighbour I do not embrace

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May 20, 2013

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Missing the mark on advertising and prices

By Tara Nykyforiak
Photos by Flikr

Descending the staircase at Commercial Skytrain station this week, my eyes were met with a bright red and white display of a Target ad plastered on the wall. When it clicked in my head what I was looking at, I was reminded why I do not embrace Target’s move to Canada.

I’ve been reading about what Target will bring when they come here, and it doesn’t sound like all that much. Sure they will bring a larger selection of brands and products to Canadian consumers, but not at the level of savings that one might expect. A recent article from CBC’s website explains how Target’s vice-president of external relations, Derek Jenkins, wants Target to be a competitive store: “We want to make sure that we are competitive in the Canadian market.”

What does this look like? A comparison of American vs. Canadian prices reveals significant differences in the prices of some major products. For example, 400g of Cheerios is $4.99 at Target stores in Canada, while for only .2g less, American Targets charge almost half at $2.84. Similarly, the Silver Linings Playbook DVD is $23.99 in Canadian stores, but only $16.99 in American stores.

Extending this comparison further, I will take a quick look at pricing found at Walmart stores in Canada. The same 400g of Cheerios is $4.97 when bought at Walmart, and the Silver Linings Playbook DVD is $24.97. So while the Cheerios are only marginally cheaper at Canadian Walmarts, and the DVD is just under a dollar more, I’m left wondering what real benefit Target will bring that Walmart and Zellers (which Target bought out) cannot and could not provide.

A recent survey conducted by The Globe and Mail concludes that there is no significant savings being offered by Target to its Canadian consumers. In fact, prices are, on average, 0.2 per cent higher than their Canadian Walmart counterparts.

Funny enough, before opening its doors here, promotion and marketing efforts centred on the low prices that Canadian shoppers would be able to enjoy. Coming from an American company taking away business from Canadian retailers, low should definitely mean less than the status quo. As it stands price wise, Target fails to justify their move into Canada.

Target has faced backlash because of this, and attempts have been made by them to defend their prices. It states the cost of doing business in Canada as a factor (i.e. higher real estate costs and higher minimum wages), and the president of Target’s Canadian division has encouraged consumers to continue to do cross-border shopping.
So let me get this straight. Target comes into our country and takes over Canadian business and then tells us to keep spending money in the US? This definitely does not bode well with their ad’s message of “CAN’T WAIT TO MEET YOU NEIGHBOUR.”

We really have to think about what they mean when they say “neighbour.” They are taking over our space by “moving in” and are trying to undermine this through the façade of being “warm” and “inviting.” But why then are they not offering anything new?

The Target by my house opened up this past week, and I have no plans of stopping by and meeting my “new neighbour.” My city is not for the taking, and I will continue to stand by my loathing of American stores invading our country under false pretences.

Chris Hadfield continues to film every menial task he performs

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May 20, 2013

Former ISS Commander won’t stop posting tedious YouTube videos of himself

By Brad McLeod

TORONTO — Despite having returned to earth nearly a week ago, a bewildered Chris Hadfield, unsure of what to do with himself with all this gravity and convenience, has continued to post instructional videos of everything he does in his day-to-day life as if they are amazing accomplishments.

According to YouTube subscribers of the former “coolest man in space” and current 100-millionth coolest man on earth, Hadfield has not ceased to release videos of mundane activities that he does and seems to be unaware that they were only interesting because he was doing them in zero gravity.

His latest video, released on Saturday and entitled “How Astronauts Shave (When they are at home in Ontario)” was essentially just footage of how any man would shave except for the fact that Hadfield kept dropping his razor forgetting that it wouldn’t float in mid-air.

“It’s kind of sad to watch” explained John Druken, one of Hadfield’s biggest fans. He seems so lost being on earth, it’s heartbreaking to see him acting so delusional as if he thinks he’ actually an Earth celebrity.”

While Hadfield’s videos are almost identical to those he produced for the Canadian Space Agency during his time away from earth, having them set in his kitchen in Ontario as opposed to the International Space Station has had a significant impact on their popularity.

“I thought it was really cool how he made those videos in space and played guitar in space but now that I think about it, it’s got nothing to do with him, space is just really, really cool” described one recent unfollower of Hadfield’s Twitter account. “Even something as terrible and boring as shaving is great in space, shaving in Ontario on the other hand, not so much.”

Although many people believe that Hadfield will soon realize that the cache behind his videos is gone since he’s on earth and will soon stop making them, there are others who believe that Hadfield will never be able to let go of his brief time as the cool space guy.

“I mean, it must be awful for him to have to come back to Earth” psychologist Melanie Stevens told the Peak “On Earth he’s not really special, everything was better up there for him, well except having to eat awful food and not being able to do pretty much anything, ever.”

The idea that Hadfield is not ready to start living a normal life on earth has also been supported by Hadfield’s family who say that since his return, the astronaut has continued living as if he is still in space.

“He still sleeps in a pod, he drinks nothing but Tang and constantly attempts to glide across the room” his exasperated wife explained. “The only time he seems to even acknowledge he isn’t still in space is when he’s updating his Twitter and complains about how spotty the reception is way down here, it’s incredibly frustrating.”

While a new video of Hadfield drinking a glass of water in his living room is supposed to come out tomorrow, there are a lot of online fans urging their hero to just go back to being the regular guy he probably never really was.

“It’s enough already, it was fun, but it’s time to move” urged Druken, still one of his biggest supporters. “I’m not sure what he should do though, now that he’s on earth he has less free time than ever . . . maybe lose a few hobbies?”

New federal funding could help SFU save millions of lives

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May 20, 2013

Lab-on-a-chip technology could mean the difference between quick diagnosis and too-late treatment

By Kristina Charania

Photos by SFU PAMR

In some rural African villages, children are underfed and have little access to safe water and clean toilets, resulting in thousands of fatalities caused by infantile diarrhea. Such fatalities can reach nearly 2,000 per day on the continent, according to a Water Aid estimate. Once infected, two main options remain: multiple treatments with antibiotics administered based on a doctor’s recommendation, or no treatment at all. Both will usually result in death.

Working towards a solution to this crisis, SFU engineering professor Ash Parameswaran is developing new technology in the hopes of facilitating the process of diagnosis and treatment. Parameswaran plans to take the lab tests needed for correct antibiotic prescriptions and condense them into mobile phone accessories that are inexpensive, user-friendly, and accessible to those living in remote areas.

Six years ago, Parameswaran travelled to India to speak to a group about technology development, and in that process he received queries from researchers wishing to develop discrete on-location testing for infections like infantile diarrhea — an infection usually caused by E. coli. “That’s when the group in India and the group here at SFU decided to put our heads together and see how this could be done,” said Parameswaran.

“In developing areas of Africa and India, doctors will administer one antibiotic and then wait two or three days to see what happens to their patient. If it doesn’t cure the disease, they’ll try another drug,” continued Parameswaran. “Sometimes this kind of testing is fatal for newborn infants because their bodies can’t handle the drugs. This is why it’s crucial we determine which antibiotic should be administered quickly and correctly.”

His team now consists of two SFU graduate students, four SFU undergraduate students, and two graduate students from India with expertise in microbiology and electrochemistry. The team is also supplemented by the expertise of Dr. Peter Unrau from SFU’s Department of Molecular Biology and Biochemistry and Dr. Craig Scratchley from the School of Engineering Science.

Traditionally, the textbook technique for determining the correct antibiotics for a bacterial disease is a long process: it involves taking a feces sample from a patient, sending it to a lab for analysis, finding a suitable antibiotic or making an antibiotic cocktail, and sending the results back to the patient’s general practitioner. This takes several days — long enough for an infected individual to succumb to the disease in some of the cases.

Parameswaran’s first step was to see if this process could be done on a smaller scale. “Initially, we built a small chip to see whether this textbook technique could be implemented on a chip. That was successful, and we were able to publish that work,” he said.

His team’s next move was to brainstorm the steps necessary to turn this technology into an easily usable Android phone accessory. “If a person has to be trained in a laboratory for a number of years to use this technology, it isn’t applicable in a rural setting,” said Parameswaran. “We chose to develop an Android app because Android phones are the most common in India or Africa.”

With this proposal, Parameswaran’s team approached Grand Challenges Canada, a federally-funded organization that awards $10.9 million annually to projects aiming to better healthcare. Grand Challenges accepted their plan and granted them $100,000 in seed money to develop a systematic electrochemical test for their gadget.

For phase one of their research, Parameswaran estimates that it will take roughly one year to create a validatable prototype that can eventually be streamlined into their final product. The accessory will produce an antibiogram that will identify the correct antibiotic to prescribe.

“Of course, it won’t look very compact or elegant at first. It’ll probably occupy a tabletop, but we will be able to show it works,” said Parameswaran. “If Grand Challenges is convinced by our work, they will take us to phase two, which is when industries will become involved.”

Most importantly, correct drug prescription and use will slow down the emergence of antibiotic-resistant strains. When the wrong antibiotics are used, the bug within a patient will not be killed; rather, they will adapt to the antibiotic and become resistant. “Bugs are intelligent — maybe even more intelligent than we are. A bug will understand the mechanism of an antibiotic and then develop immunity to it,” said Parameswaran.

“If the physician doesn’t make the right initial diagnosis, the bug in the child will develop multi-strain resistance. That will actually cause even more damage, which is why the first diagnosis and prescription should be done correctly.”

Parameswaran now awaits the two Indian graduate students who are travelling to work at SFU laboratories in June. “We’re looking forward to having those students come and work with us, and really excited about launching this project,” he concluded.

Local company now offering full-pay internships due to careless mistake by unpaid intern

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May 20, 2013

Unpaid intern’s incompetence results in payment

By Brad McLeod

VANCOUVER — Amidst the recent backlash against unpaid internships in BC, local corporation Hamtrax, announced on their website last week that all future internships will be “full pay with benefits,” a move that they have since blamed on one of their incompetent interns.

While the announcement has certainly made them hugely popular with university students looking to gain work experience while also eating and living indoors, Hamtrax has not been pleased with their now-paid interns.

“We gave him one thing to do, one thing” explained Hamtrax’s frustrated CEO Dave Klimchuck, “We just told him to put a message up on the website that we we’re hiring interns, that’s it, and he had to go and include all this information about fair pay and benefits, and now we have to pay him for it!”

Although the individual in question, Ryan the Intern, has been in some hot water over the “this isn’t free labour” slip-up of the new internship program write-up, Hamtrax has not been able to have him fired thanks to the conditions Ryan accidently included in the new intern agreement.

“I can see messing up and writing that we pay interns, that’s a mistake anybody could’ve made, but this asshole accidently included all sorts of rights and proper conducts for termination for interns” continued an exasperated Klimchuk “God, these interns are a pain in the ass . . . and thanks to their fuck-up they’re now some of the highest paid employees at this company!”

According to the terms written by the clueless intern, not only do interns have to be a paid, but they have to receive minimum wage which is more than he says he deserves after his blunder.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen” Ryan the intern told The Peak apologetically. “I just looked up the proper legal requirements for internships in BC when I put it up on the website, I know they didn’t ask me to do it, it was just an honest mistake, I swear!”

The mistake has now cost Ryan his unpaid internship and forced him to start receiving financial compensation for his labour. He will also now be joined by plenty of other foolish young hardworking, career-driven students.

“This never would have happened if we just had interns who didn’t try to actually work and just slacked off all the time like young people are supposed to,” complained one of Hamtrax’s hundred vice-presidents, Mike Steele. He explains, “We only got into this mess because Ryan showed initiative; hopefully giving them some money can make them complacent enough to stop trying and just be like everyone else who works here.”

Even though they might not be happy with their new internship program, Hamtrax now has no choice but to follow through on it but rumours have swirled that despite the pay it won’t be the happiest place to work.

“Apparently the company is so mad about what Ryan did that they’re going to make interning there into the least fun time they can” explained Matt, the prospective future intern. “I’ve heard it’s going to be long hours, irrational bosses, uncomfortable co-worker relations, I mean, what kind of work experience is that?”

Where are they now? – May 20th, 2013

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May 20, 2013

Ever wonder what happened to those celebrities who were everywhere back then, but have since fallen off the face of the earth? Well, stop asking yourself stupid questions like an idiot and find out where they are — now!

The Original Host of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

First host of the 7^th best late-night talk show on TV

Of course, everyone knows and loves the long-running late-night talk show The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and its current host, Jay Leno; but whatever happened to that hilarious, squeaky-voiced, working class guy who originally hosted it? Well, apparently he’s still around and entertaining people across the world with his comedy. He also hosts The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

World Trade Center Tower B

I know, I could never tell them apart either

As much as we’d all love to forget, the destruction of World Trade Center Tower A in the tragic events of September 11, 2001 is something that will stay ingrained in all of our minds for as long as we live. But whatever happened to its twin, World Trade Center B? According to everything I’ve read, B just wasn’t able to survive as a single act and must have descended into obscurity after A’s demise.

Your Nose

The one you had stolen as a child

You might not remember any of this but when you were a kid your uncle stole your nose and never gave it back. Don’t worry though, it was actually just his thumb and you’ve had your nose this whole time. Your virginity on the other hand, he took that for good.

Word on the Street: Election Results

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May 20, 2013