By Brad McLeod and Ben Buckley
Word on the Street: Crack Video
Q: How did you prevent a video of yourself smoking crack from being released publicly?
Whenever I smoke crack I make everyone I’m with turn off all their electronic devices. You know how annoying it is to give a coked-out speech and people are texting and shit?
Don Mendleson, An old soul with new drugs
Just lucky, I guess.
Patricia Johnson, Smoked a little crack in high school, but who didn’t?
My crack video’s been tied up in development hell. Hopefully it’ll come out by next summer though.
Doug Stevens. By “development hell” means “sold his USB adapter for more crack
I’ve never smoked crack, that’s how.
Tom Parker, NEEEEEERRRRRRD!!!!!!
I didn’t. I sure hope my mom doesn’t find out about it . . . The video stamp shows that it was way past my curfew!
Johnny Graham, Grounded for losing his dad’s best glass pipe
Join the Club: Gout on Campus, Burnaby Mountain Toastmakers, Free Tibet Club
JOIN THE CLUB is a feature that highlights SFU’s lesser known clubs and non-existent organizations.
This week we highlight. . .
Gout on Campus
Gout on Campus is a group of students, faculty, alumni and allies working together to reduce discrimination and increase awareness about gout, podagra and other inflammatory arthritic diseases. The organization is committed to ensuring that students with gout are free to be open about their blood’s high uric acid levels and hope to provide a safe environment where they can be proud about their inflated big toes.
Burnaby Mountain Toastmakers
At Burnaby Mountain Toastmakers, students can learn how to communicate, improve their public speaking skills, make friends — but mostly they just learn how to make a really good piece of toast. Toaster settings, browning techniques . . . the Burnaby Mountain Toastmakers is a club dedicated to the perfection of the most boring part of breakfast.
Free Tibet Club
The Free Tibet Club is SFU’s home for Tibetan rights and campaigns related to recognition of Tibet as a sovereign, self-determining nation.
The SFSS does not currently recognize this club. If you have any inquiries take it up with the Chinese Debate Society.
Letter to the Editor – May 20, 2013
By Dave Dyck
Dear editor,
Re: “Forum a better choice for SFU politics”
Last week, former SFSS board member Kyle Acierno wrote a piece entitled “Forum a better choice for SFU politics.” In the article he bemoaned the current state of affairs within the SFSS executive board, specifically what he sees as a lack of accountability. This lack of accountability, as Acierno sees it, has led to the BuildSFU project as well as last year’s staff lockout being pushed through without enough student input.
Perhaps Acierno has been gone from SFU for long enough that he has forgotten his own support for the lockout, or the two hour Forum meetings where what type of chairs to purchase took up a significant portion of time. If it takes the members of Forum — most of whom sit on the council for one semester and then vanish — that long to come to a decision about chairs, how does Acierno expect them to deal with real problems like labour disputes and student union buildings?
If Acierno still believes that the lockout was necessary, as he has stated in this publication, I wonder how he would feel about taking that vote to a largely disorganized, uninformed body like Forum, and not only try to explain to them the different problems the university faces, but also seek useful input on the matters.
I understand that it is not a popular opinion, but anyone who has sat through a Forum meeting knows that this is the reality of the situation. Forum delegates are more often than not appointed from a small cadre of students in each department, arrive to the meetings with no knowledge of what is going on, and then proceed to vocalize that ignorance for what seems like forever. They are the ones who drown out or overpower any reasonable, rational, and experienced Forum members.
Acierno has the great boon of situational distance, where his recommendations will have no personal repercussions, and is no doubt chuckling away to himself with visions of longer and longer and more and more useless Forum meetings dancing in his head. And as funny as that would be, it’s not exactly practical, Kyle.
Sincerely,
Dave Dyck
Peak Associate
DOXA Reviews, part 2: Sister and Forget Me Not
By Ljudmila Petrovic
Photos by DOXA Festival
In Ethiopia, one in 27 women die from childbirth-related causes. In Cambodia, it’s one in 48 women that die from childbirth-related causes, while in Haiti, it’s one in 44. Canada’s rate in the past several years on the other hand, has been 7.8 maternal deaths per 100,000 births.
This is the topic that Brenda Davis tackles in Sister, a documentary that follows the dedicated and resilient health care workers in three different third world countries. The film follows Goitom Berhane, a health officer in a small rural hospital in Ethiopia; midwife Pum Mach in Cambodia; and Haitian Madam Bwa, who provides contraceptives and health care for women, despite having received no formal training.
The film seems to follow several thematic threads that manage to pull at the heartstrings of the audience with shocking strength: the resilience of these women and those that work with them; the absolute necessity of the health care workers in mitigating the tragic barriers they face; and the juxtaposition and dissonance that we see between our own health care and that of the third world.
The women and individuals documented in this film face immense difficulties and barriers, including devastating poverty and lack of resources. The health care workers have varying levels of education and training, but they all have one common goal: to help these women.
“Whenever a dying mother survives, this is what enlightens you, this is what makes you happy and gives you meaning and sense to your life, that you are living a meaningful life,” explains Goitom Berhane in an interview.
Brenda Davis, the director and producer, was the last of eight children all born by an emergency cesarean section — in Canada, a relatively common and rarely fatal operation. In third world countries, however, the differences between the childbirth process and its results are strikingly different.
The health care workers seen in this film are single-handedly responsible for the life that does survive the devastating conditions of countries like Cambodia. Their sacrifices — things such as walking for eight hours to reach a remote town — are mind-blowing for an audience that is presented with resources like ambulance services and pre-natal yoga.
We are collectively reminded of the unequal distribution of resources across the globe — something that we are aware of, but often forget. The film leaves you simultaneously devastated and inspired to do anything you can to make a difference, and that kind of reaction is a marker of a successful social justice documentary.
Forget Me Not is a stunning and complex exploration of Alzheimer’s disease and the effects it has on individuals and their families.
Filmmaker David Sieveking goes home to visit his parents, only to find that his mother — once a robust and fiery individual — is slowly losing her memory and abilities. She is soon diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and his father, Molte, is left to take care of his deteriorating wife as the formerly independent woman becomes more and more reliant and childlike.
The more time David spends with his mother Gretel, however, the more he learns about his parents’ history through Gretel’s diaries and photo albums. He goes through the physical memories that his mother no longer has and learns more of his mother’s radical political activism during the 60s, her feminist involvement, and his parents’ open marriage.
Molte, too, learns about his wife through this process, realizing years too late that their open marriage was really cause of emotional strain on Gretel.
Watching as Gretel deteriorates and the family deals with slowly losing her is devastating. It shows the dark and terrifying side of Alzheimer’s and other dementia disorders; on the other hand, however, the audience watches as the family grows closer, and as they learn more about one another. Once fierce and proud, Gretel softens and begins to tell Molte she loves him for the first time in their 40 year marriage; he, too, becomes more protective and caring of her than he ever was.
David goes back to Gretel’s childhood and realizes things about her that she can no longer explain. The film is simultaneously a heart-wrenching and torturing experience, and a humbling reminder to never fear getting to know the people in your life.
Usually, there is shuffling and exiting as soon as the film finishes; however, as the credits rolled at the end of Forget Me Not, the audience remained motionless in their seats. I looked around in the dark at the faces surrounding me, and saw people staring rapt at the screen, some sniffling, some wiping their eyes.
Forget Me Not is a humbling reminder of how fragile the human mind is, and of how complex and vast the concepts of memory and cognition continue to be, exhibiting the resilience of family. Gretel is no longer the woman that her family once knew, but in the process of coming to terms with this, her family discovers a woman they had never known.
Arts About Town: Instant Coffee: The hero, the villain, the salesman, the parent, a sidekick and a servant
Abouts About Town is a new weekly photographic feature that focuses on the arts at or around SFU and Vancouver. If you’re interested in contributing to this, email [email protected].
Last week, Instant Coffee opened at the Teck Gallery at SFu Vancouver, Harbour Center. Running from May 11, 2013 to April 27, 2014, the exhibit operates as a set for “social framing and interaction”
Photos by Andrew Zuliani
Instant Coffee holds its opening night at the Teck Gallery.
Guests enjoy a glass of wine.
Album Reviews: Daft Punk, The National, and a Throwback to Neutral Milk Hotel
By Max Hill
Daft Punk — Random Access Memories
We all knew this was bound to happen, 2013 seems to be the year of the comeback: so far Justin Timberlake, David Bowie and even My Bloody Valentine have emerged from prolonged hiatuses to critical and popular acclaim. Later on in the year, Queens of the Stone Age and Boards of Canada are expected to do the same, but not all of these rebounds could have been successful.
Cue Random Access Memories, Daft Punk’s first proper album since 2005 and easily their most bloated and uninteresting. The French duo have exchanged their house music roots in favour of an extended tribute to the music of the seventies and eighties. Disco, funk and jazz fusion are all attempted here, along with several other rarely revisited genres.
But despite these forays into uncharted territory, very little of the material on Random Access Memories feels like a risk taken or a boundary pushed. The majority of the album’s 13 tracks, which stretch out over an astounding 74 minutes, are either cheesy slow jams or meandering electro-funk. Each track seems to overstay its welcome by at least two minutes, and might feel more at home in an elevator ride than a modern club.
The duo’s over-reliance on vocoder and uninspired guest performances — never have Julian Casablancas and Panda Bear sounded less committed or present — give the tracks an emotional detachment that completely kills any attempt at drawing the listener in. Even album highlights “Giorgio by Moroder” and “Contact,” which both attempt to inject a little energy into this beached whale of an album, are instantly forgettable and only hint at the vitality of the band’s earlier hits.
Whereas many absentee artists have taken 2013 as an opportunity to prove they’ve still got it, with Random Access Memories Daft Punk seem to have inadvertently proven the opposite. The album’s superficiality and lack of character seem to suggest that the duo might have been better off quitting while they were ahead.
The National — Trouble Will Find Me
Trouble Will Find Me, the latest album by Brooklyn foursome The National, is a lot like their last three albums. The band found their musical niche early on in their career and have been reaping the benefits ever since: a tightly wound rhythm section, measured guitars and lead vocalist Matt Beringer’s smoky, low-register croon have served them well in the past, and the sound they bring to their newest LP is no different.
A natural, effortless mix of propulsive barn burners and piano bar ballads make Trouble Will Find Me another in a consistent stream of highly enjoyable albums by the band. Each song seems to stand on its own, leaving the album feeling less cohesive but more accessible than those that have come before it.
One of the reasons that Trouble Will Find Me, and the band’s approach in general, has yet to become tiresome is the subtle variations to keep their sound fresh and inventive. Beringer’s vocals here seem less effortless and more fragile, which contributes to the emotional gut punch of tracks like “Heavenfaced” and “I Need My Girl.”
Guest vocalists Sharon Von Etten and St. Vincent are used sparingly on tracks like “This Is the Last Time” and “Hard to Find,” never distracting from the album’s tone and atmosphere. Beringer’s lyrics are as evocative and multi-layered as always, and his authentic delivery gives emphasis to his more obscure lines: “I am secretly in love with/ Everyone that I grew up with,” he sings on the early single “Demons,” an admission that’s somehow equally funny and heartbreaking.
This album probably won’t change anyone’s life, and that’s okay. The National have made great albums before, and they’ll make great albums again. In the meantime, Trouble Will Find Me is an enjoyable LP, and more than enough to tide the band’s listeners over until they record their next Boxer. (We can dream).
Neutral Milk Hotel — In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
Jeff Mangum is a force of nature. His lyrics are kaleidoscopic and unapologetically awkward. His voice is broken, but he reaches for the high notes anyway. His band, bushily bearded and draped in hand-knitted sweaters, accompany him on horns, accordions, seesaws and fuzzed-out electric guitars.
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is what it sounds like inside Mangum’s head, populated with two-headed boys in beakers, boys who play flaming pianos and communist daughters. The album is remarkably strange, disarmingly honest and completely, uncommonly brilliant.
Drawing from influences as varied as Eastern European folk music and The Velvet Underground-style psychedelia, Neutral Milk Hotel’s sound is all their own, and despite their unusual instrumentation In the Aeroplane Over the Sea sounds as though it couldn’t have been put together any other way. From the carnivalesque march of “The Fool” to the acoustic guitar-propelled “Two-Headed Boy,” each note on the album feels completely natural and effortless.
Mangum’s performance has to be heard to be believed: his conviction and energy rival the likes of Freddie Mercury and Mick Jagger in their heydays. It’s no surprise he suffered a nervous breakdown in the aftermath of the album’s recording.
His lyrics are revealing, but what they’re revealing is harder to pin down: his contorted accounts of sexual encounters and domestic violence seem to mix autobiography with childlike imagination, resulting in a completely unique worldview that sets In the Aeroplane Over the Sea apart from its contemporaries.
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is at once an incredibly personal statement from one of the most eccentric men ever to pick up an acoustic guitar and a universal expression of growing pains, sexual awkwardness, and misremembered nostalgia. If there’s one album you decide to listen to for the first time this week, make it this one.
Peak Week May 21 – 25
Eats
Long-standing Main St. fixture Habit has permanently closed its doors as of April 14th, reopening as Charlie’s Little Italian by the same owners. The new joint has just opened its doors, bringing an old school Italian vibe to the neighbourhood. Charlie’s is an affordable pasta place, reinvigorating that old-timey feeling of family dinners. You can expect traditional pasta dishes, antipasti, hand-tossed garlic breads, a small and cozy wine list, as well as Italian sodas, cocktails, and espresso. And for those regulars lamenting the end to their brunch service: don’t worry, it’s not going anywhere.
Beats
May 24th and 25th will see the 9th Annual International Jondo Flamenco Festival, co-presented by SFU Woodwards. The first night will be “Zyryab”, for a night of “soul, artistry and passion,” combining Persian and Flamenco song, dance and music traditions. Happening on the second night is “Camino Real,” featuring flamenco dancer from Madrid, Antonio Arrebola, joined by singers Cristo Cortes and Pirouz de Caspio. Guitarist Ricardo Diaz will also be joining the performance. If you’re looking for something lively and different, why not check out the festival and get your flamenco on this weekend?
Theats
If you’ve ever wanted to see a fusion of burlesque and musical theatre, this one’s for you. Grimm Girls: Once Upon a Tease is the third production by Concrete Vertigo, combining classic Grimm Brothers fables with the sexy stylings of burlesque performance. Expect to see a whole new side of Cinderella, Snow White, Red Riding Hood and the Evil Queen. Running until May 25th, you’ve got a few chances to partake in this one. There will be a cash bar and most certainly some nudity.
Elites
The Audain Gallery at SFU Woodwards is exhibiting The Biography of Images: Parallel Biographies from May 9–August 17. As part of a series of photography exhibitions from the Austrian Federal Photography Collection, this exhibit brings together artists from Vienna and Vancouver. Each photograph carries with it a story of production: what was the process of creating it? What kind of decisions were made? What kind of relationship is there between creator and photograph? By considering these processes, the viewer is then able to imagine a “biography” of the work itself, tying together art and artist.
Treats
If you’ve got a Saturday afternoon free, consider checking out the Trout Lake Farmers Market. Local produce and other goodies offer plenty to choose from, and if you’re looking for something a little hands-on and good for families, check out Aloe Designs DIY station. On May 25th, check out the Mason Bee Houses station, where you’ll be able to assemble your own Mason bee house out of reclaimed wood to take home. These little bees are great for creating biodiversity in the garden, and it’s a fun activity for little ones as well.
The dark truth
By Rachel Braeuer
Photos by Vaikunthe Banerjee
With two weeks of decent weather behind us, we can expect to know the hem length and type of sandals someone wore based on the patchwork quilt of skin the sun will have left behind. For those taking classes or trapped in offices working 9-5, it can be hard to get a tan in. Many will opt for a trip to the tanning bed so they, too, can look like they have enough free time to spend days sprawled out in the sun, reading Noam Chomsky, playing the guitar and slacklining.
This choice shouldn’t be taken lightly, though. In the US, May is national melanoma awareness month. We should take a moment to pause and heed our neighbours to the south’s warnings, before the UV index reaches its annual highs. Skin cancer statistics get more dismal as time goes on, and unless something changes, it’s only going to get more grim.
One in every three cancers diagnosed is a form of skin cancer. Right now, skin cancers are the second most common cancer in young adults aged 15-34. Every year, worldwide, there are more diagnosed cases of skin cancer than breast, prostate, lung and colon cancers combined.
There are three different forms of skin cancer, affecting the three different types of skin cells: basal cell, squamous cell and malignant melanoma. Each is more dangerous than the last. Basal cell carcinoma affects the outer layer of skin cells. If caught early, it is the easiest to treat, often with just the removal of the affected area. Squamous cell carcinoma is more serious, affecting cells deeper in the epidermis (skin) with more potential to metastasize and spread. Malignant melanoma, as the name suggests, is the most dangerous with almost one-fifth of diagnosed cases resulting in death.
Basal cell carcinoma is the most common form of cancer, which fortunately translates to skin cancer having a much higher survival rate than other cancers, with 970 deaths per year as compared to lung cancer’s over 20,000. However, the sheer number of cases takes a huge toll on our healthcare system. Each melanoma case costs the Canadian healthcare system over $6,000 dollars, with all skin cancers costing an estimated $531,750,000, or over half a billion dollars.
Indoor tanning in particular becomes a suspect choice. Those who fake-and-bake before age 35 have an increased risk of developing malignant melanoma (the deadly one) by 75 per cent. Despite all of this, it can be hard to resist the urge to get a beautiful tan at any cost.
If you’re reading this and feeling like an idiot, don’t worry. I’m no better. About a month ago, I decided I’d try out tanning. I’ve always hated how blindingly pale I am. I figured instead of sitting on a beach for five-or-more hour stints with little to no sunscreen with the sole purpose of getting a burn that would turn into a tan, getting into a sun-coffin for a few minutes a couple of times a week was a relatively responsible choice. Plus it was included in my gym membership fee, and I hate waste.
If you’ve never gone before, my advice is this: don’t. It’s a waste of time, unless you’re wholly committed to toasting yourself, or you’re ok with very minimal results. A reason some give for continuing to tan despite medical evidence suggesting to stop right fucking now, is that it just makes them feel generally happier and better about themselves.
All it made me do was question my life choices, namely why an educated woman such as myself would willingly hang around naked in a cancer tube. The first time I went, the attendant convinced me to try out a sample of some sun enhancer, which is basically just moisturizer that makes you smell like a 12-year-old girl who discovered Calgon for the first time. It came in a little foil tube, like the shampoo samples that sometimes come with free newspapers.
When you get into the room where the melanoma tardis is located, you have three minutes to take your clothes off and put on whatever lotion you’ve brought before the UV lights come on. Forget the giant red balls, trying to squeeze greasy shit out of a little packet and evenly coat your body in it in three minutes and then build your tanning goggles (surprise! You have to thread the elastic through them yourself) should be a segment on Wipeout.
Once I actually got into the booth, which looks a lot like a torture chamber, I discovered that a fan blows air up at you to keep you cool while you literally bake yourself. If you’ve never had a fan blowing air up between your naked legs after an intense cardio session, be glad. There is nothing to do in a tanning booth except be alone with your thoughts (well, that or develop cataracts from staring into the lights).
For me, it went something like this: “Jesus Christ, this fan is ridiculous! I hope the person before me didn’t have some weird foot fungus, particulates of which are now blowing on my crotch. Can you get Athlete’s Foot on not-your-feet? What if the grate busted and I fell into the fan! Does the fan have an automatic shut off? Do I really want to be the girl who got skin cancer and had her feet cut off in a freak tanning-booth accident? Jesus it’s hot in here, thank god for that fan. UV lights make nipples look weird — OH FUCK, has that mole always been on my shoulder?”
“Well at least you got a decent tan out of it,” you may be thinking at this point, but that’s the real kicker: you couldn’t even tell. I mentioned at the office that I had gone tanning. One coworker took a look at my blindingly white legs and asked “Are you sure?”. That about sums it up. I noticed some difference on my face where the goggles went, but largely I looked about the same. Frustrated, I rummaged through my extensive crap-cupboard under the bathroom sink and found three different sunless tanning lotions. After a week of using those, a different coworker remarked on how tanned I looked.
Save your skin, time, and money, and go buy some cheap sunless tanner if you must. Better yet, just deal with the skin you’re in. You’re not going to have it for very long if you can’t anyway.
