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Let’s talk about sex, baby

By
Peak Web
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0

June 17 2013 copy

 

By Ljudmila Petrovic
Photos by Ben-Buckley

I was recently out shopping when Bruno Mars’ “Locked Out of Heaven” came on the radio. Now, one of the lines of this song is, “your sex takes me to paradise,” except in the “radio-friendly” version, it was, “your ____ takes me to paradise.” The word “sex” was omitted as if it were offensive profanity.

Our society is notoriously over-sexualized and, while we do have sexual education and resources in schools, clearly we are not as collectively comfortable with the topic as we may think up here in our ivory towers of post-secondary.

In 2011, for example, Fifty Shades of Grey jumped to the top of bestsellers’ lists. The series has a weak plot, a shaky premise, little to no character development, and writing quality that makes The Berenstain Bears look like a Dostoyevsky novel. Why did its success soar to such ridiculous heights? Because the topics of sexuality and alternative forms of sex were suddenly open for discussion. It is only in the past few years these topics have been more or less accepted outside of Dan Savage’s fan base.

Sex education is theoretically taught in Canadian public schools throughout elementary and secondary schools. But that doesn’t mean this always plays out in practice; I, for example, didn’t get my sexual education in school until mid to late high school.

In grade five, my teacher misplaced the Why Is This Happening To Me? booklets and, through a twist of events, we had a substitute teacher and were never taught what was happening to our bodies. Luckily for me, my parents had always been meticulous in answering my questions from a young age, so I wasn’t left embarrassed and confused by my changing body. But what if — when my four year old self had asked about babies — my mother had told me about storks instead of drawing out the sperm and egg?

In 2010, then Ontario Premier, Dalton McGuinty, launched a new sex education program. Students in Grade 1 were to be taught the correct terminology for genitalia (in part as sexual abuse prevention), and in Grade three, they were to be taught about homosexuality. In Grade six, they would learn about masturbation and in Grade seven, the topics of oral and anal sex would be explored. Students would also be taught from a young age that gender is not dichotomous.

It was withdrawn almost immediately after Stop Corrupting Children (on the Canadian Values website) and other conservative and religious groups started an uproar, including a petition. Now Kathleen Wynne, who was elected as Ontario’s premier in January, is trying to bring it back. On the other hand, a 2001 National Post / Global Poll found that more than 85 per cent of parents agreed that sexual health education should be provided in schools. We’re on the right track.

Sex is present in one form or another in all animals, and it is also a factor in healthy relationships. So why is the topic still broached? It is taught in schools and there are a plethora of resources out there, but it is harder to undo the idea of a bird bringing a baby than it is to teach the truth right off the bat.

Deeming this natural act as “inappropriate” for children is short-sighted and insults children’s ability to comprehend and accept information. In fact, the taboo that is often attached to the topic of sex is a social constraint, not a natural reaction to it; instead of starting a child’s sex education in grades four or five, it should simply be a topic open for discussion.

Everything under the rainbow with Kate Reid

By
EIC
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0

KR-1559
By Rachel Braeuer
Illustration by Amelia Reid
Photos courtesy of Kate Reid

Local folk singer Kate Reid’s new album, Queer Across Canada, dropped two weeks ago. It’s a major departure from her usual work in that it’s an album specifically for kids. The Peak sat down with her and talked about the new album, homophobia, sex, and more.

What motivated you to write an album like Queer Across Canada for kids and LGBT families?

Part of why I wanted to do this, what was really the cementing piece, was having a conversation with [my partner] Maike’s kids. She has a boy named Ben who’s 13 now, but was a lot younger at the time, and Jessica, who is now 10. [Both] would talk about some of the stuff they faced with their peers when they said they have two moms, and other kids say “How, how is that possible? What do you mean you had two moms? How come you don’t have a daddy? How do two moms have kids?”

Ben’s answer to one of the kids was “I do have a dad, I have a donor dad.”  The kids don’t understand what that means and so he had to explain. Then they start teasing him, calling names such as “donut dad,” which in grade three is pretty traumatic, to have someone call your dad a donut dad. [Another experience came from] Jessica, talking about having to make two cards for Mother’s Day and not doing that for Father’s Day, sort of deciding, “Well, who do I make a Father’s Day card for?”

Those kinds of conversations [got me] thinking, “You know, they don’t have any songs that talk about their lives, that speak to their families that they can see themselves reflected in.” All the songs for young people and kids are like, “mommy / daddy,” so I wanted to write songs for them. I wanted to give voice to their stories, and so that’s what started me on it.

So then I started thinking, “I want to interview kids growing up in queer families,” because queer kids are subjected to homophobia, but so are kids of queer families even though they might not identify as queer. That’s another strain of homophobia kids can be subjected to, so that was the impetus for the album.

 

In an interview with Steven Quinn from “On the Coast,” you talked about your background in education and how that factored into making the kit that comes with Queer Across Canada. What is your background in education?  

In terms of my own teaching background, I got a teaching degree in 2000. I had an arts undergrad and then I got a teaching degree. I taught for about seven years full time before I became “the musician” (she laughs).

I did three years of teaching in the interior. The first year of teaching I was in the closet. I was in Midway, for fuck’s sake. Its a small freaking town, like 600 people. I’m not going to come out in this town, I was freaked out.

It was really interesting for me to date a woman who lived in another town; I would go to visit her on weekends and nobody knew about my life. I was not really integrated in the social fabric of Midway, and because I was in the closet and I didn’t really make good friends with the teachers.

In the second year, when my girlfriend and I broke up, I started dating a male gym teacher at the high school, my social life just opened up. Suddenly I didn’t have to be afraid, I didn’t have to be in the closet, and I started to talk about, you know, I did have a girlfriend, because now it was okay. Now I had the safety of being in a heterosexual relationship, so it was such an eye opener from me to go from one extreme from the other.

So then I taught for another year, afterwards took another year off and then I moved here, and I worked on the sub-list in Vancouver for about four years before quitting to try to do music full time.

 

A lot of your earlier work was more personal narrative or introspective. Was it hard for you to write from such a different perspective and doing a lot more interview work? 

No, it wasn’t, actually. It was a lot of fun because when I was doing the interviews, it was really fascinating to hear people stories. I love the interview process — it was really cool. When I was doing it I was always looking for that little gem, that little phrase that I could turn into a song or that could be the title of a song.

For instance, “Tummy Mummy,” that was a phrase that this one particular family had used to describe the birth mother of their daughter, and that’s what I built that song around. How can you not write a song around that? It’s so cute!

Another song, “Cool Enough to Be Gay” was written because there were two mid-teen boys, and one of them was explaining how, when his parents called for a family meeting, he was worried about it and he was going to his mom’s house and was wondering, “What is this going to be about? Did someone die? Is someone getting divorced or are they getting back together? Is mom pregnant?”

On the way home, he’s trying to figure out all the possible reasons they’re going to have this big meeting for, and his thought was like, “maybe dad’s gay . . .” but sort of thought to himself “no, he’s not cool enough to be gay.” I just thought that that was the gem of the interview. That’s hilarious. It was fun. People say interesting stuff. The anecdotes . . . it was really cool to turn that into song. It was actually sort of fun, you know, I wasn’t writing about myself for once so it was a nice break.

 

Doing It For The Chicks’ “Ain’t No Drama Queen” talks about your experience with internalized homophobia. Did that come up for you while working on Queer Across Canada?

Yeah, it comes up for me a lot. In particular I remember writing that song because whenever I go into a studio, everytime I’ve gone in — I don’t know if I remember it in the first album because I was working with a woman, she was a lesbian, so I don’t know if that was why — but I’ve worked with two different [guys named] Adam and they were both straight, but I’d have this feeling of, “Oh, my songs are so gay. Why am I writing all of this gay stuff? All of this queer material?”

I would just have this negative thought process start happening, you know, enough with the gay stuff already, and I’m playing my songs for the first time and I’m thinking in my head: “What are they going to think about this song?” I’m worried that it’s too queer, or just not legit because it’s queer.

So, “Ain’t No Drama Queen” came up because I was having that feeling really strongly that particular week when I was in a recording studio in Toronto, and I was feeling really down on myself about it, about writing about this stuff, wondering what I was doing this for again, how many times can you sing this stuff about being queer? It turns out there’s a lot of stuff you can sing about being queer. It’s the lens that I look through, or that I write though. I find that it comes up in different ways and sometimes in really big ways and sometimes in small ways.

As I move through my life, the more I sing about it, the more I write about it, the less that stuff comes up. But I do have internalized homophobia. I mean, I do around my family. Sometimes I go home and I think, “Oh, I’m too much, I’m too out there, I’m too queer, I’m too activist, too . . . much! Too much queer already, stop it!” But when I’m with my friends, that’s what we talk about. We talk about our issues, we talk about what it’s like to be queer in the world so it feels okay.

 

 

It was kind of funny, I [was] kind of [feeling] bad because it’s the sex issue, but I really wanted to do this because I wanted queer content, but then I think, “Is it too gay? Are people going to think it’s not well related?” Everything you’re saying . . . I totally get that, but then I have to be like “fuck that.”

No, totally fuck that. Nobody ever says “oh that’s too straight.” Nobody ever says, “oh, the stuff on the radio is too heterosexual.” Well, queers are saying that, but heterosexual people don’t. And nobody ever questions if “there’s too many love songs on the radio about men and women hooking up.”

I’ve written a similar song based on a similar topic, called “Uncharted Territory,” because some of my friends on my first album said “you sing too much about being lesbian, enough already,” and I had a reviewer say that too about my music. She said something like, “there were two songs on the album that were complete duds, it was starving artist and I’d go straight for Ridley Bent”, and then she said, “Yeah, we know you’re a dyke, we get it, enough already.”

That was in the review, and I’m just like, “Fuck you!” and then I had some friends say “Well why do you sing so much about it?” Somebody has to. We have to do this and it’s important to me and it’s part of who I am, it’s my identity. Nobody ever says that to straight singers. “Why do you sing about your boyfriend all the time?” You know what I mean?

[When people ask] “Why do you have to sing queer songs? Can’t you just sing something that’s more mainstream?” [that] just means more straight or not identifying my queerness, and I get what [they’re] saying. But that’s not what I’m here to do. If I wanted to write a song like that, I would’ve fucking written it four albums ago. Enough already, people. Don’t you get it? This is what I’m doing.

There’s lots of queer artists that are making it big and some of their material is questionably queer. Do you think the music industry is actually getting more accepting, or is it just getting more marketable?

I think the first part happens first and then the second part happens. I think the music industry is finally figuring out there’s a whole ‘nother audience out there that they can service and make money from, and I think queer, obviously, is becoming more accepted and filter into the mainstream. I don’t watch TV, but I hear about shows like Modern Family, and Glee.

I mean we had Will and Grace in the 90s but I think in some ways queer is becoming a little bit trendy, maybe? And they’re figuring out how to market that because we’re different than we were 20 years ago. Not different, but out there. I guess it’s becoming more part of the mainstream, and more marketable because there’s an audience for it. Young people are out more than they were. Queer families are more visible, and I think the music business has kind of seen that’s something they can work with.

 

Do you get less of the “why so much gay content?” reviews now as opposed to when you first started?

I only got a few of those kind of reviews, “oh, she just happens to be a lesbian.” Most people who review my music get it. They get that it’s actually not just about being queer, they get that that’s a lens that I write through, but that I actually am a human being and I write from a human being’s perspective. I just happen to be whatever I happen to be writing from a queer place. Most reviewers are intelligent enough to understand that. There’s that one guy and that one woman who didn’t really see that.

 

KR-1577

 

How does humour factor into your work?

That’s where the universal human being-ness comes into my work. Yeah, I identify as being queer, as a lesbian, but I can also laugh at myself and the way I am in the world and the way the world is, and make fun of these things, and for me that was the bridge into roping in a more mainstream audience. If we have the ability to laugh at ourselves, I think that’s appealing to people no matter how we identify. For me humour was a good tool for that, I saw that as a way to bridge that between the queer community and the non-queer community.

 

What’s it like for you on stage when you get you first bout of laughter from the audience? Is there a difference in the way it feels?

Yeah, it makes me realize “oh, this is going to be a good show, they get it, they understand it, they’re with me,” and the times when they don’t, I just think “I have to work harder here.”

 

Again, off of Doing It For The Chicks, the title track was written in response to a guy’s concerns over your “lifestyle” because he was hosting a concert in his house. It seems like the unspoken concern is always that two people of the same sex are having sex. How much do you think fear over the unknown factors into responses like that when it comes to homophobia?

What I wanted to do with this album was play around people’s fears around the sex piece. It is the part that, as soon as you say you’re lesbian or gay, they automatically think about you with a same sex partner, and people think about you being in bed with that person. I think it’s just an automatic thing that happens in the brain. Whereas you talk to a woman who says my husband, people just don’t go there. We’re so used to it, but I think because of people’s fears around queernes, that’s where they automatically jump to.

It becomes the focus of people’s homophobia because they can’t imagine that that’s OK or normal, or loving, or that it’s actually OK to love somebody of the same sex. They forget that, aside from our sexual relationships and our intimate relationships, we go to work, we have kids, we have problems, we have money issues, we have communication problems, we love to go hiking — we do all these things that everybody else does, except we have same sex partners.

That’s the part of queerness that people are uncomfortable with, the sexual piece, because it’s different than what they do, or maybe it’s something they want to do but they’re too afraid to try, it taps into their own homophobia, it taps into their fantasy that they don’t want to admit to — all of those things.

 

What was it like working with C.R. Avery?

It was great, I think C.R. Avery is a brilliant artist. He’s a lot of fun in the studio, I love his beatboxing, I love his wordplay. A couple of times when we were just hanging out at his house, we were talking about doing a piece about bullying and the queer youth suicide stuff, and he said, “I really want to get into that issue and really do something powerful around that.” And I said that would be great, so in the studio, Adam [the bass player on Queer Across Canada] came up with this bass line, and gave it to C.R. who wrote this piece about it.

He wrote the piece for Mother’s Day / Father’s Day conundrum, which I totally love, but then he wrote this other totally separate thing about this bullying and queer youth suicide, he flipped it and made it — I think he called the song “The Drag Queen Vigilante” — about how drag queens go around killing bullies. They basically retaliate, and kill the bullies and throw them in the back of the hearse, and all of this stuff. It’s a great piece, I mean it’s amazing, but I thought,“it’s not good for a kid’s album.” I wanted to, and I thought about it, but it . . .  it doesn’t work for this album. Maybe a different album, but yeah, he does some amazing stuff.

 

Did you approach him, or did someone suggest him for doing this?

No, I approached him. Yeah, I wanted to have him on the album. I’d been thinking about it for quite a while, and I wanted him to do a spoken word piece and some beatboxing, so yeah it was cool, and he was keen — it was great. I kept running into him in various places, like the airport, and conferences, and I was like, “I want to have you on my next album!” and so it finally came together.

 

The song “Ex-Junkie Boyfriend” reflects on a much younger you and the guy you were living with. Obviously you’ve changed a lot since then. If you could give the you in that song three pieces of advice, what would they be?

I don’t think I would give myself any advice, because I did exactly what I needed to be doing at the time. I don’t regret being with him. I learned a lot in that relationship about myself. He was, y’know, besides the drugs and some of the stuff, we did have some fun. He taught me a lot about living on the coast, about Vancouver, about some books that I thought were interesting and I didn’t know anything about.

I [believe] that we have to go through what we have to go through, and to go back and change something, if I could, I don’t know if I would because I needed to go through that stuff with him in order to understand what I wanted and didn’t want in my life. I always think that relationships are for learning about ourselves and about how to become better people in the world, and I was really young at the time. I was in my early 20’s. I was having fun! I wanted to do the drugs, too, sure! But it got to a point where it was like, “this is not what I want to be doing anymore.”

I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about how I look to other people for my own sense of self, and that was when I was starting to realize that I was doing that in relationships with men. That it was me trying to cultivate a sense of self and some self-confidence through them not on my own, so yeah. My advice? I don’t have any for myself back then. It brought me to where I am today, it gave me a great song, and I don’t regret it.

KReidQACcoverFINALforpromo

Under lock and key

By
EIC
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0

CMYK-Last Word Crotch Lock-Vaikunthe Banerjee-UPDATED
Back in high school, my maleness often served as an all-access backstage pass to the more mercilessly misogynistic quips that my fellow classmates would share (when they were, of course, sure there were no women around). I’ve heard them all: men describing women as objects; commenting on their presumed sexual availability based on their clothing, or even their race; and recounting their sexual conquests in supremely disrespectful fashion.

The worst of all, though, were the jokes. Those who possessed the unique skill of finding humour in belittling the opposite sex would share bigoted bon mots like: “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. If a lock is opened by a bunch of keys, it’s a shitty lock.”

I was put off by these blatant expressions of sexism then, but I didn’t say much about it. Whether it was fear of exclusion or simply a lack of bravery, I often stood by silently, listening. Unfortunately I wasn’t the only one: many of my friends would later tell me that they were also offended by these hateful exchanges, but failed to speak up.

High school gossip, of course, is just one of the many ways in which women are made to feel guilty for expressing themselves sexually. There’s a historical precedent set for the shaming of women’s sexuality.

The nymphs of ancient Greek mythology set the precedent for the dangerous, sexually liberated female archetype; the term nymphomania originated during the Victorian Era to describe a woman who experienced excessive sexual desire or exhibited excessive sexual behavior. At this time, hypersexuality — as it’s now known — was seen as an exclusively female disorder, and was treated as a mental illness.

Chastity belts and accusations of witchcraft often befell sexually promiscuous women during the rigidly ecclesiastical Middle Ages. Though societal reactions loosened during the intellectual and political upheaval of the Renaissance, the sexually repressed conservatism of Queen Victoria’s reign in Great Britain quickly re-indoctrinated similarly repressive moral codes against women.

Due in part to the Industrial Revolution and the urban sprawl that resulted, men and women were made to occupy separate spheres during the Victorian Era. Men occupied the public sphere, which included businesses, economic centres and urban areas; women on the other hand, were restricted to the private sphere, which typically limited their societal roles to child-rearing and homemaking.

Though the emergence of first wave feminism and the ‘flapper’ subculture of the 20s loosened societal pressures on female sexuality, the nuclear families of the 50s quickly reinstated societal views of promiscuous women as immoral and unacceptable. The sexual revolution and second wave feminism fought back, and modern feminist movements continue to do the same, but there is still progress to be made.

In the realm of media, female sexuality is still often seen as immoral or unstable. A common trope in many contemporary films and TV shows is the archetypal femme fatale: these villainous women use their sexuality to control and seduce the men around them, not unlike the nymphs of Greek mythology.

In contrast, female love interests are often portrayed as innocent, pure and virginal. This dichotomy — often referred to as the Madonna / Whore Complex, after an antiquated Freudian psychoanalytic term — characterizes female sexuality as dangerous and female chastity as desirable.

More recently, the SlutWalk movement has inspired many to question their preconceived notions towards women and sexuality. Inspired by a 2011 Torontonian rape case in which women were advised by police not to dress “like sluts,” the movement has sought to reclaim the term ‘slut’ — historically possessing a negative connotation — and combat notions that women are responsible for being sexual assaulted because of their attire.

This is an example of what academics refer to as a rape culture: instead of using chastity belts, our modern society belittles sexually expressive women by blaming them for victimizing themselves. We teach women not to be raped, rather than teach men not to rape. Attempting to control the way that women dress and their presumed promiscuity is not only an unfair form of gender discrimination, it’s also damaging to women’s propensity for self-expression.

I wish it were as easy as saying, “Women should be able to have sex with whomever they want, just like men!” Of course, this is completely true, but to reduce the issue to a matter of equality between genders would be to ignore the oppression that women face every day for wearing revealing clothing and for refusing to play into the virginal, innocent archetype that our Western society expects of them.

Though this is a multi-faceted cultural issue with no clear solution, men can play their part in helping to reverse these negative stereotypes and conceptions of women in simple ways. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t belittle women for their sexuality — whether it be heterosexual, homosexual or otherwise — and don’t sit idly by when others do the same. Speak up, and don’t lump women into categories like ‘slut’ and ‘tease’ because of the way they decide to express themselves.

We live in a culture that shames women for wanting to enjoy one of life’s biggest joys. Everyone deserves to be able to enjoy a rewarding sex life: after all, sex is awesome. But above all, sex is an expression of love, passion, individuality and desire that should be between equals, no matter what race, sexuality or gender.

A Travelling Freak Show’s Guide to Puberty

By
EIC
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0

BeardedBoobsBW copyDogBoyBWTattooTeenBWTorsoGirlBW

By Brad McLeod
Illustrations by Alex Ortega

Growing up can be a new and exciting time in the life of every boy and girl, but it can also be a strange and sometimes confusing journey.  As you make the leap from childhood into adolescence you’ll probably start to become aware of a few changes.

Maybe you’ve recently noticed hair where there was no hair before, like on your upper lip, your legs or covering your entire face making you look like you have a dog’s head. Maybe you’ve heard other kids talking about contorting their bodies when they’re alone in bed at night and felt embarrassed that you didn’t understand what they were talking about. Maybe you’ve suddenly begun feeling self-conscious about your body, thinking that everyone who passes by your cage is staring or laughing at you.

Although right now you may be feeling completely alienated, as if you’re some kind of weirdo or monster or oddity, there’s no need to worry and you’re certainly not alone. You’re just beginning a process called puberty which is completely natural and absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. It’s something that almost* everyone goes through and it’s a necessary step to one day becoming a healthy, normal adult freak.

*see Thomas Bingbong, the amazing 92 year old baby

 

What is Puberty?

Quite simply put, puberty is the transition from being a child to being an adult. It’s the time when an adorable little elephant boy starts to become a big, strong elephant man, and a sweet little human torso girl begins to grow into a beautiful full-figured human torso lady.

 

When will I start Puberty?

Puberty occurs at a different time for everybody and believe it or not there is no way of knowing even approximately when it will happen. Even if you might feel inside like you’re ready to become an adult 750-pound lady, your body might have other ideas. Everyone progresses at their own pace: some kids will have a full beard by the time they’re 10 years old, while others might remain completely hairless well into their nineties.*

*see Thomas Bingbong, the amazing 92 year old baby

 

What happens during Puberty?

No two people go through puberty in the same way. Even some conjoined twins have been known to end up looking nothing like their malnourished, dying sibling! Nevertheless, here are a few things you might have to look forward to . . .

 

Body Changes:

As you physically mature, you’ll probably notice that some parts of your body are getting much larger than they used to be. Whether it’s your ears, your nose, your tail, or any other extremities that are ballooning up, you might just look a bit gangly and awkward for a while. Don’t worry though, with any luck the rest of you will grow to be just as grossly disproportionate in no time!

 

Growth Spurts:

Rapid increases in size are very common during puberty but they occur at different rates for everyone. While your arms and legs may quickly grow to adult size, your unborn twin’s set of legs may stay child sized for a little while longer and just dangle off of you. Of course, not everyone is going to be the world’s tallest person (only half of you will), but either way you’re probably not going to want to buy any very expensive clothing during this time. Sure, those designer mittens might look nice, but those lobster hands of yours won’t stay that size for long!

 

Breasts:

The development of breasts (pronounced [boobs]) is another big possible physical development during puberty for both young girls and boys. While two to three breasts is the most common amount, there’s no saying how many you might end up with or how large they may become.*

*see Thomas Bingbong, the amazing 92-year-old baby with astounding quadruple D breasts

 

New Hair:

While growing up you might have become used to having hair on your head but, as you go through puberty it’s going to start popping up in all sorts of new and unfamiliar places. And sure, those bad teenage mustaches can be a tad embarrassing; but remember, girls, it just means that you’re well on your way to becoming a gorgeous bearded lady!

Acne:

Although being a teenager can be a lot of fun, puberty probably won’t be a very pleasant time for your skin. Where once you may have only had tree-bark-like warts, your face and body can suddenly become inundated with big ugly pimples and zits. Despite what you may have heard, there is no proof that diet has any effect on acne. It’s really just something you have to patiently wait to clear up and there’s no reason to feel bad about eating some fire or swallowing a sword from time to time!

Emotional Changes:

Of course, puberty does a lot more than just change the way you look. In your teenage years you’re also going to have a lot of new feelings and anxieties to deal with. While acting out against your parents or rebelling against society are totally normal reactions to this changing world you’re in, try not to go too crazy or do anything you’ll regret. Just stick to a couple hundred piercings or some full-body tattoos and you should be fine.

 

Well, that’s about all there is to know about puberty. Now stop worrying so much and get back to being young and carefree! Come on, those nails aren’t going to hammer themselves into your nose!

Study: Kinky sex better for mental health than “vanilla”

By
EIC
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0

WEB-Kinky-Vaikunthe Banerjee

 

According to a new study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, using the blindfold and furry handcuffs stashed in your closet may contribute to better mental health than that of lovers keeping it boring and simple between the sheets.

This study comes with the release of the DSM-5, the go-to handbook for psychiatrists evaluating and diagnosing mental disorders. The new version categorises BDSM (short for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism) as unusual behaviour; this elevates to mental disorder status when activities harm the practitioner or other individuals.

“We define sadism and masochism at this current historical moment as activity on the outer edges of what we find acceptable. We see those people as pushing up against that particular boundary,” says SFU associate professor Elise Chenier. “At the same time, there are other types of sexual expression that we don’t all see as positive in a mental health perspective.”

For this sex and mental health study, researchers recruited 902 BDSM practitioners from a sex forum and 434 “vanilla” practitioners from a women’s magazine website, a university website, and a personal secret website. Each volunteer filled out a series of surveys with the understanding that the study was examining human behaviour.

Survey types included personality dimensions, rejection sensitivity, attachment styles, and subjective well-being questionnaires. The answers were then statistically analyzed and group differences were evaluated.

From these tests, the kinkier group was found to either show no difference from the general population or to exhibit more favourable results than the “vanilla” control group, including being more conscientious, open to new ideas, less neurotic, and less concerned about others’ opinions.

They also reported feeling more happiness in the past two weeks and higher stability in their relationships than their less adventurous counterparts.
These findings may come as a surprise to some since they are contrary to both restricted views of BDSM activity in the past and the idea of sadism or masochism as an indicator of mental instability or illness.

“Historically, mental health research has been used as a school of oppression against sexual minority groups. Now, you have sexual minority groups using the same tools to try and argue the opposite thing,” says Chenier. “We need to see the research article as a piece of political work, not a piece of objective science because it’s arguing for the validity of sexual practices that are marginalized and oppressed.”

The study also reported that 33 per cent of BDSM men respondents were submissive, while 48 per cent were dominant, and 18 per cent switch between being dominant and submissive in bed. Women BDSM participants were 75 per cent submissive, 8 per cent dominant, and 16 per cent switch. Dominant sex partners scored higher on the study’s mental health surveys, while — as you might expect — switchers scored in the middle, and submissive partners scored the lowest, though never below any of the control group “vanilla” practitioners.

Study researcher Andreas Wismeijer doesn’t offer much explanation for his findings, and only suggests possibilities. In comparison with controls, BDSM practitioners may have a better grasp of their erotic needs and desires, translating to more peaceful relationships both in bed and in other aspects of couples’ lives. It was also suggested that associating with the BDSM community — a niche in the grander scheme of sexual practices — may involve psychological work that could inadvertently produce better mental health.

“For me, at the end of the day, it’s dangerous to make arguments that people should not be [sexually] oppressed because engaging in these practices brings better mental health,” says Chenier. “What this research is suggesting is that if you want to be happier, you should dominate in an S&M relationship. Well, what about submissive roles in those relationships?”

She concluded, “I think, instead, people should be as they are or as they discover themselves to be.”

Where are they now?

By
EIC
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Ever wonder what happened to those celebrities who were everywhere back then, but have since fallen off the face of the earth? Well, stop asking yourself stupid questions like an idiot and find out where they are — now!

 

Larry Morgan, Adult Snuff Movie Star

Back in the 80s, Morgan was one of the biggest names of the obscure “adult snuff film” genre despite the fact that he only ever had one starring role. What ever happened to him? Unfortunately, it was that very same critically acclaimed portrayal of a man who has sex before being brutally stabbed to death in the 1985 bootleg classic “Naked Man Murder,” that ultimately killed his career (and also his life) —  although it remains an FBI favourite to this day.

 

Adult Movie Theatres, Public Pervert Houses

Although many people believe that since the advent of VHS tapes and the internet, that there are no longer any places where people go out to watch pornography in a semi-public place, adult movie theatres do still exist. Since the early 90s adult movie theatre have changed drastically though and now include more private booths and usually go under the name “public libraries.”

 

Your First Aborted Child, The Almost-Biggest Mistake of Your Life

Although you might have thought you were doing the right thing by not going through with the birth of a child you couldn’t take care of and was shown to be at high risk for mental disabilities, you actually should’ve gone through with it. Today, your first aborted child obviously isn’t around but there’s a good chance they could’ve been the first autistic PM of Canada by now.

Board Shorts

By
EIC
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Board Shorts

Welcome back party in the works

The board has started extensive planning on a fall welcome-back event, tentatively scheduled for September 13 in Convocation Mall at the Burnaby campus. The event will be a large afternoon concert with four acts and an after-party at the Highland Pub, to be finalized in the next two or three weeks of the budget being approved in the beginning of July. The SFSS won’t release any names of prospective artists at this time, but president Humza Khan said the “shortlist consists of artists that will appeal to the young crowd in attendance as they are from the electronic and top-40 genres.”

The proposed budget for the concert is just under $63,000, with an expected revenue of approximately $70,000 based on sponsorship, food and beverage sales, and 2000 ticket sales. Tickets will be sold in four tiers, from $16, $18, $20, to $25. Tickets will be sold for $35 at the door, and tickets for the pub after party will be $15. Expectations for the event are high; Khan said the concert “could be the legacy of our board.”

SFU bagpiper tours France

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EIC
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Kevin McLean

SFU bagpipe player Kevin McLean played across Northern France early this month, on a week long trip honoring several Canadian battles and our fallen soldiers. The expedition had McLean performing on former First and Second World War battlefields and memorable locations, including Juno Beach, to commemorate the 69th anniversary of the invasion of Normandy, better known as D-Day.

The trip proved to be an especially personal one for McLean, as the communication student also visited the grave of his great uncle William McLean, who died in the Hundred Day Offensive in 1918.

The tour, titled Vimy: Leadership Under Fire, is an annual week-long pilgrimage produced by the Canadian organizations True Patriot Love, the Vimy Foundation, and the Young Presidents’ Organization. This year marked the third annual event, taking Canadian business leaders across famous First and Second World War battle sites and cemeteries to preserve interest in the historical sacrifices of canadian military families.

McLean plays for SFU’s internationally recognized pipe band, which is currently raising funds for its annual trip to Glasgow in August to compete in the two-day World Pipe Band Championships. The SFU Pipe Band has won the event six times in the past. The band members are trying to raise $10,000 of the $100,000 cost, which is usually almost entirely funded by the members of the band.

McLean, who has been a piper since the age of 13, described the experience of playing at the battlefields, graves, memorials, museums, and beaches in Northern France as “incredible.” For him, seeing both his uncle’s grave and experiencing these other locations was a reminder of the personal story that each soldier or grave holds.

“Knowing that each soldier buried has a family and an unique story like my great uncle’s really struck home,” he said. “It’s easy to get overwhelmed and awed by the size and numbers of the graveyards, but when you realize that each grave represents a young Canadian soldier that left their families, friends, careers, and lives behind to fight for our country, it’s very emotional and it makes you feel very proud to be Canadian.”

McLean, who was the sole piper on the trip, was accompanied during the trip by two men whom he refers to as “two of the most proud and inspirational Canadians alive:” Pierre Gauthier, a former soldier who fought at Juno Beach at age 19, and General Rick Hillier, the Chief of the Defense Staff of the Canadian Forces in Afghanistan between 2005 and 2008. “It was an honour to play the bagpipes for these people and listen to their stories and absorb their pride in being Canadian,” McLean says.

The most memorable experience of the trip for McLean was giving a performance of four songs and short presentation at the grave of piper James Cleland Richardson, a Vancouver soldier who was killed in the First World War. Originally from Scotland, Richardson was a piper in the 72nd Seaforth Highlanders of Canada, and travelled overseas as part of a large Seaforth contingent.

Richardson was posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross — the most prestigious award for gallantry that can be awarded to British and Commonwealth forces — after allegedly rallying fellow soldiers with his music during a battle in Somme, France, in 1916. Richardson died attempting to retrieve his bagpipes that he had left behind enemy lines; he was 20 years-old at the time.

For McLean’s involvement, General Hiller awarded him the Commander’s Medal, an honour reserved by the retired Chief for moments by which he is personally inspired. “It was an incredible honour to be awarded this,” McLean said.

University Briefs

By
EIC
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Lady

Penis size matters

Apparently it is the size, and not what you do with it, gentlemen.

Biologist Brian Mautz, a University of Ottawa researcher, has concluded that “flaccid penis size had a significant influence on male attractiveness.” The study involved females evaluating potential sexual partners by judging the attractiveness of male figures with different sized penises.

However, bigger is not always better: “The data showed an upside-down-U-shaped curve for each trait,” meaning that there were diminishing returns for extreme size. Additionally, penis size did not seem to matter for  the attractiveness of short men; what matter more is proportions.

The team’s model predicts that the most attractive penis would measure 12.8 to 14.2 centimetres in its flaccid state, which is relatively close to the population average.

With files from The Canadian Press

 

Potential non-gendered washrooms at Douglas

With the recent election of Milo Leraar, DSU Pride Liason, Douglas College’s Pride Collective is looking to push for non-gendered washrooms and “better queer representation and understanding within the college.”

In keeping with the group’s shift towards more collective decision making, Leraar was eager to listen to these ideas at a recent collective meeting.

“The last collective meeting was really awesome. There was a lot of diverse opinion in representation at the meeting,” said Leraar. “I’m hoping that can continue on so that we can put a lot of intention into making this not only a queer safe space but safe for people of all identities.”

With files from The Other Press

 

Forum explored science of sex and relationships

On June 8, the University of Guelph held a daylong research symposium on “The Science of Sex and Relationships.” Prof. Robin Milhausen, a sex educator and event co-chair explained, “people tend to study sex and relationships as separate topics . . . as researchers, these two groups don’t get together too often.”

According to Milhausen, the delegates discussed how having a satisfying sex life and a positive relationship go hand in hand (no pun intended). The two are mutually reinforcing; the thought is that better sex can be found in a relationship, where emotional attachment and trust are present, and not outside of one. Other topics explored included asexuality and working with high-risk sex offenders.

With files from University of Guelph

 

Winnipeg women harassed more often than previously thought

In a recent survey of 300 people by Hollaback! Winnipeg, it was found that 94 per cent of women and members of the LGBT community (specifically, genderqueer and transgendered individuals) in Winnipeg have been the victim of sexual harassment, where 63 per cent experience harassment at least once a month.

The most common forms of harassment that these victim’s underwent include honking, whistling, leering, and comments about physical appearance.

Lexi van Dyck, a fourth-year women’s and gender studies student at the University of Winnipeg, believes that the best way to avoid such oppressive and frightening behavior is to teach young students about how to better interact with opposite genders.

With files from The Uniter: Winnipeg’s Weekly Urban Journal

Opposition to Mumbai mannequins stiffens

By
EIC
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0

Manequeen with stole of different political parties

A city which has caught the world’s eye for all the wrong reasons in the past year, Mumbai has recently passed a ban on provocative mannequins, hoping to halt sex crimes in India’s ancient capital.

Representatives from Mumbai’s local authority, a body which is dominated by the right-wing Hindu Bharatiya Janata Party, voted on May 28 to ban the plastic models. The prohibition is based on the “Provisions of the Indecent Representation of Women (Prohibition) Act, 1986,” which defines indecent representation of women as “the depiction in any manner of the figure of a woman; her form or body or any part thereof in such way as to have the effect of being indecent, or derogatory to, or denigrating women, or is likely to deprave, corrupt or injure the public morality or morals.”

The initiative was led by Ritu Tawade, a member of the Hindu Bharatiya Janata Party. According to Tawade, these “immoral” figures are partly to blame for Mumbai men’s indecent and dangerous behaviour towards women. “It’s time to end shop windows showing women’s breasts and bottoms,” said Tawade. “Young boys see the mannequins and the minds of grown men too are corrupted by these images.”

This ban confronts the increasing number of rapes and sexual abuse in India. According to National Crime Records Bureau, the cases of rape went up by 873 percent between 2001 and 2011. Broken down, Mumbai has India’s second highest number of rapes after Delhi, totalling 231 last year; in Delhi, the total was 706. In India’s capital, a woman is raped every 18 hours, and is molested every 14 hours.

When looking at the country as a whole, one woman is raped every 20 minutes in India. This is calculated only from the reported cases; the actual number of rapes is most likely significantly higher. In a 2011 survey by Trust Law, it was revealed that India is the fourth-worst country for women to live in, on account of trafficking and sexual slavery. It is only preceded by Afghanistan, the Congo, and Pakistan.

This issue hit the world stage last December, when a young physiotherapy student was gang-raped on a bus in Delhi. Since then, the country has been swept by anti-rape protests that have gained impetus from other high-profile incidents of sexual assault in the months following, including a US tourist who was raped in Manali, a resort town in the north.

Nevertheless, this mannequin ban has been criticized for its failure to address the deeper cultural issues at play. A survey by the International Centre for Research on Women found that 75 per cent of men in New Delhi felt that “women provoke men by the way they dress.” This thought process does not stop with men alone, as shown by the comments of Asha Gaitonde, a Mumbai waitress: “Girls wear spaghetti straps, short skirts and tight jeans. These clothes make everyone aware of sex and if men start thinking of sex because girls make them look at them, what do you expect?”

Not only do critics find fault with such “outdated” ways of thinking, but in the city’s failure to address other potential causes of violence against Indian women. Opponents of the ban refer to erotic sculptures and carvings at celebrated temples like Khajuraho that feature scenes of group sex and bestiality, claiming that these images are more culturally harmful than the mannequins.

Fingers have also pointed to Mumbai’s Bollywood film industry, which produces films that feature scantily-clad women dancing provocatively. When confronted, Ekta Kapoor, a co-producer of The Dirty Picture (2011), responded, “Stop your men. Don’t just cover your women. There’s a bigger problem with the mentality of the men in this country.”

Responses from the fashion and advertising industry were similar to those of Kapoor. “If the plastic curves of a mannequin can turn these guys on, they should go see a doctor,” said advertising executive Pritish Nandy.

Once approved, the ban will give civic officials the authority to remove any mannequins that they feel are offensive and in violation of the 1986 Act. If shopkeepers refuse, they will be fined. As of yet, the amount of the fine has not been specified.

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024