Home Blog Page 1254

Bear watch

0

WEB-Bear Watch-Eleanor Qu

SFU has been recognized for its effort in working with Conservation Officers over the past two years, in order to maintain a “bear-proof” campus. Conservation Officer Jack Trudgian told Burnaby NewsLeader that SFU has done an “awesome job” to ensure that garbage bins are secure, as to avoid attracting bears onto campus.

Given that the SFU Burnaby Campus shares Burnaby Mountain with many wildlife creatures, it is important to remind SFU staff and students of circumstantial hazards, such as bear encounters. “Bears will move on if there’s no food,” Trudgian said. As long as garbage is properly disposed of, bears should not be tempted to enter campus.

Last month, three bears in particular raised concerns after being spotted around Burnaby Mountain Secondary School. The two cubs and their mother were monitored closely by Conservation Officers, and are believed to have returned back to the mountain, away from the public.

Another incident in Surrey saw a bear attack a llama and a goat over the course of a single weekend. According to Conservation Officer Jack Trudigan, the bout of warm weather we got earlier in the spring could have brought bears out of hibernation all at once, as reported by News 1130.

“We’re getting more calls in the Surrey, Burnaby, [and] Langley areas than we do on the North Shore and the North Shore usually generates most of our bear calls or bear sightings. It’s really [difficult] to predict why this is,” Trudigan said.

According to the BC Ministry of Environment website, “Conservation Officers are usually forced to kill ‘problem’ bears,” in order to ensure public safety. However, the website states that officers would “rather prevent ‘problem’ bears from being created in the first place.”

If a bear has not grown accustomed to eating garbage or human food, it is easier for Conservation Officers to manage the bears, as they have no other interest interacting with humans unless there is food at stake.

Other methods used by Conservation Officers to deter bears include firing flare guns to scare the bears away, rubber bullets, and anti-riot batons. These techniques are known as “Aversive Conditioning” and are used to teach the bears to associate humans (and their food / garbage) in a negative way.

As stated by the BC Ministry of Environment, problem bears cost BC taxpayers more than $1 million each year, “responding to bear complaints and relocating or destroying bears.”

Pierce Ficzycz, supervisor of the SFU Student Campus Safety Program, said, “Due to the geographical location of the university bears will always be present; however, all we can do is reduce potentially dangerous interactions with these wild animals by educating the university community.”

Rock n’ roll track stars

0

TCRG s7b1 - Bad Reputations vs Faster Pussycats

Since its resurgence in Texas in the early 2000s, roller derby has become one of the fastest growing sports, sprouting up in grassroots-like leagues and gaining a lot of momentum in popularity.

Its premise is simple, and quite unique: there is no ball or net, only ten women on wheels blocking each other with bruise-worthy hard contact. To score points, each team has one jammer who is marked with a star on her helmet. Once the jammer passes the blockers and their fierce contact, the team is awarded points each time she continues to successfully pass a player of the opposing team.

However, roller derby isn’t an entirely “normal” sport, and part of its appeal is in the culture surrounding it. While each team wears a similar uniform, these women also tend to dress a little wacky, but wacky in the greatest sense of the word: bright colours, tights, fishnets and face paint. All of this also comes with a badass attitude of course.

Meaghan Hackinen, also known as Schwarzemegger, is a player for the Faster Pussycats and a member of the All-Stars team for the Terminal City Roller Girls. As we sip coffee and munch on baked goods at Cafe Du Soleil, Meaghan discusses derby, and gives some insight into its culture and community.

“I think it [the outfits] came out of derby being a spectator sport, but I also think we just like dressing up . . . It’s stuff you don’t get to wear everyday. It’s just fun and different. I like to wear a lot of neon and bright colours — I don’t get to wear neon tights everyday!”

The ways of roller derby don’t simply stop at the costumes, though. You get to choose a different name than your own if you like, and even add a character for embellishment. “You get to recreate yourself a bit. I feel like people don’t really change who they are entirely, but you pick something and play it up,”  Meaghan explains.

Meaghan’s derby name, Schwarzemegger, is, of course, a spinoff of the onetime bodybuilder and action-movie hero, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Meaghan smiles as she discusses her derby name: “I didn’t really do it on purpose, but I picked Schwarzemegger because it was one letter different and has my name in it . . . [but now] I really play up the last action hero [character].”

Stated in an Austrian accent while laughing, she adds: “I am coming to get you! I have really big muscles!” Aside from the bruises, costumes and derby names, the Terminal City Roller Girls also have a flourishing community where supporting each other is top priority.

No matter who you are, these women will make you feel welcomed, and do so by avidly supporting things like the LGBT community. Each year, the Terminal City Roller Girls are sure to lace-up their skates to take part in the Pride Parade, and also hold fun events such as a gay vs straight scrimmage.

“There is a lot of support to be whoever you are. I have even seen a lot of people come out in their experience with derby. I guess they just feel they are in a comfortable place, and can say: ‘I like girls, and it’s fine to say that now’. It’s really a beautiful thing to see,” Meaghan says.

But like most things, it’s also not all play, all the time: “It takes a lot to keep the league in operation. It’s a lot of work and no one gets paid to do it. We all volunteer. You have to love it… It’s cool to be part of something where everybody wants to be there, and everybody thinks its worth their time. We are all united in that front.”

So, in a flash of fishnets, neon tights, face paint and camaraderie, the Terminal City Roller Girls will be making their final laps into the end of this season. There is one final scheduled game on July 13 before the semi finals on August 10, and championships are on September 7.

Apply to be The Peak’s Web Producer!

0

The Peak, SFU’s student newspaper, is looking for someone who can harness their web design, visual design, and WordPress skills to make changes and improvements to the-peak.ca on a weekly basis. We want to have the best web site of any Canadian student newspaper; this is an excellent opportunity to gain valuable experience in a well-paid position that is flexible around your classes.

The Web Producer will adjust the look, feel, and functionality of The Peak’s WordPress-based site on a week-to-week basis. Specific tasks may include creating a front-page “cover image” every week, making changes to the WordPress theme using CSS, HTML, and PHP, and designing the appearance of featured articles. This job is very open-ended, with a lot of room for the successful candidate to come up with and implement new ideas. The Web Producer will also be expected to work with The Peak’s other editors at the SFU Burnaby campus on Friday afternoons.

The job is paid $225 per issue (that is, every week for 13 weeks). Any SFU student can nominate themselves for the Fall 2013 election by filling out and submitting a questionnaire by 1:00 p.m. on Wednesday, July 10. For those who can attend, all candidates are invited to make a one-minute presentation about their qualifications and goals for the position, followed by a brief question period, at the Peak collective meeting at 1:00 p.m. on Wednesday, July 10 at the Peak offices. Voting will then continue until Wednesday, July 17.

Questions? For more information, contact [email protected], or you can proceed to fill out a questionnaire below.

Error: Contact form not found.

Album Reviews: Fuck Buttons, These New Puritans, and a throwback to Madvillain

0

fuckbuttons

Fuck Buttons — Slow Focus

Fuck Buttons’ newest record, Slow Focus, is about as aptly named as any album you’re likely to listen to this year. Made up of seven tracks — the longest of which clocks in at over 10 minutes — the duo’s third effort finds seven ways to build momentum through spacey synths, robotic drum machines and electronics that remind of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ soundtrack for The Social Network.

Finding an aggressive and somewhat cacophonous groove for all of their seven songs, Andrew Hung and Benjamin John Power proceed to engrave each one into their listeners’ skulls, insistently repeating the same riffs while slowly building momentum by adding reverb, tape hiss, and other electronica staples.

Despite each track reaching a respectably heavy and militant end, Slow Focus quickly becomes a demanding and ultimately tiring listen. Its tracks are only sporadically inventive, and each one seems to rely on the same cut-and-paste format in an effort to create atmosphere.

Of course, this is a common trope in trance music, which seems to inform Slow Focus more directly than any of Fuck Buttons’ previous records. However, like so much trance music released today, the duo substitute genuine creativity for iron-fisted insistence, asking listeners to find intricacies in their music rather than creating music that genuinely incites closer inspection.

Slow Focus does have its strong moments: Power and Hung are capable producers, and their mix on this record is arguably their harshest and most interesting yet, especially on tracks like “Sentients” and album closer “Hidden XS.” But the album’s highlights are so recycled and regurgitated that their original potency inevitably dims over each track’s lifespan.

Though Slow Focus is an admirable experiment in songwriting and production, its repetitiveness and meandering pace result in an dull and underwhelming listening experience.

 

these-new-puritans-album-field-of-reeds

These New Puritans — Field of Reeds

Field of Reeds is an album that demands attention, although it seems uninterested in attracting it in any conventional way. The nine tracks on These New Puritans’ remarkable third record would probably be best described as neo-classical, although they often incorporate post-rock, art rock and ambient elements.

The band, who have yet to repeat themselves with any of their formal releases, have crafted one of the most challenging — and, ultimately, most rewarding — albums of the year.

None of the album’s pieces can be comfortably described as songs, although “Fragment Two” has the most in common with conventional song structure. Bandleader Jack Barnett seems content to let his imagination guide his songwriting.

This results in a particularly unique brand of avant-pop, which incorporates breathtakingly beautiful horns and strings, as well as guest vocals from Brazilian songstress Elisa Rodrigues, a pitch-shifted children’s choir and Adrian Peacock, whose baritone is the lowest in England.

Though Field of Reeds is about as far from easy listening as you’re likely to venture this year — tracks like “Dream” and “Spiral” seem uninterested in any structure, let alone a typical verse-chorus-verse — it’s grounded by an emotional core and Barnett’s slippery, understated vocal.

His wordless drone on “V (Island Song)” and pensive croon on album closer “Field of Reeds” ache along with the album’s fluctuating instrumentation. Elsewhere, the album’s expansive instrumental passages seem to benefit from Barnett’s absence, building an anxious yet ethereal atmosphere by mixing electronics with melancholic horn arrangements — all of which are bathed in impeccable studio production.

Listening to Field of Reeds in a single sitting might prove an arduous experience, but its intricacies and uncommon elegance are well worth the effort. These New Puritans have released their best LP yet, an ambitious effort that ultimately succeeds in every way.

 

madvillainy

Throwback: Madvillain — Madvillainy

Any attempt to fit elusive emcee MF Doom and DJ-turned-producer Madlib into hip-hop’s history books will inevitably fail. The two exist on the fringes of the genre’s sprawling web of interconnectivity, eschewing the glamour and fame of chart-topping success for the quiet dignity of independent hip-hop mythopoeia.

In the years prior to Madvillainy, both men had been quietly building their reputation on the lower frequencies of the hip-hop community, and their one — and, still, their only album — is the result of both artists hitting their creative peaks simultaneously.

The album’s 22 tracks rarely range beyond the three-minute mark, and only a handful have anything that could be described as choruses. MF Doom’s uniform flow and abstract lyrics are more interested in imagery than narrative, and Madlib’s gloomy production seems to place the album in the realm of film noir and 1930s-era radio plays.

But despite its eccentricities, Madvillainy is as compulsively listenable as it is creative. The unusual hook on “Accordion” and the sung / spoken half-chorus of “Rainbows” are far from hip-hop staples, but are infectious all the same.

In contrast, the sinister bass-line of “Meat Grinder” and the stoned odyssey of “America’s Most Blunted” re-contextualize some of hip-hop’s most well-worn cliches. The album’s reliance on retro film and TV snippets seem to enhance its timelessness, and its relatively small lineup of guest stars helps the duo retain their anonymous personas.

Madvillainy capitalizes on its duo’s biggest talents — MF Doom’s evocative lyrics and disciplined delivery, Madlib’s clever and idiosyncratic production — and ends up even greater than the sum of its parts. Though it’s doubtlessly one of the genre’s oddballs, Madvillainy is also one of its biggest successes: this is as intelligent, esoteric and goddamn as enjoyable as hip-hop gets.

We need to preserve the Rotunda community when building the SUB

0

By Michael McDonnell

On paper, the transportation centre at SFU Burnaby would be a good location for the Student Union Building. Located directly by the bus loop, it would be a regular stop on the way to class, and would put the SFSS at the centre of student engagement. However, unlike the other two locations, it could also potentially disrupt an already existing campus community, making it more difficult for the Rotunda groups to provide much needed services and safe spaces.

The Rotunda, just above the transportation centre, is SFU’s social justice hub — currently the home of the Women’s Centre, Out on Campus, the Simon Fraser Public Interest Research Group (SFPIRG), the First Nations Student Association (FNSA), and the African and Caribbean Heritage Students Association (ACHSA). Both the Women’s Centre and SFPIRG have occupied the Rotunda for more than three decades, providing a level of public engagement that balances SFU’s status as a commuter campus.

For example, in 2011-12, SFPIRG held events and workshops which were attended by 600 students, approving 14 grant proposals for social and environmental justice initiatives, eight Action Research projects for community organizations, 173 prison responses toward Letters from the Inside, and arranged 65 lounge and meeting room bookings for students, among other accomplishments.

Both groups are funded directly by students, who also serve as volunteer directors, an experience I have personally benefitted from at SFPIRG last year. As a thriving community, the Rotunda groups have become an institution at SFU, and several are now recognized as Constituency Groups in the SFSS.

While students generally consent to the very minimal fees collected by the Rotunda groups, they have been silently stymied by administrative pressures. From 2010-12, the SFSS Board of Directors has refused to renew SFPIRG’s lease, despite repeated requests and meetings with staff. Meanwhile, Board members were active in planning the SUB proposal and referendum for Spring 2012.

At SFU, both the university administration and SFSS Board members have at different times considered SFPIRG’s space as prime real estate. The most telling example of this is last year’s “smart template” for a Men’s Centre, which proposed taking half of SFPIRG’s or the Women’s Centre’s space. As publicized before, the Women’s Centre still has a mouldy room, two years after they requested renovations.

The SUB consultation process can only be complete if it is sensitive to this side of the SFU community. From the perspective of the Rotunda groups, who still have not been guaranteed space in the new SUB, the other two locations (between MBC and the AQ, and near Shell House) are much less disruptive than the transportation centre.

While the building committee for the SUB does need to consider the interests of the average student, my guess is that the average student does not know who Marc Fontaine is (the Project General Manager for Build SFU). From 2010-11, Fontaine served as University Relations Officer for the SFSS, chairing the Space Committee that drafted the SUB referendum question. This is an association too close to miss.

For those worried about their graduation prospects, university is not just about credentials or nice views: It is also about networking, personal development, finding community, and pursuing volunteer experiences.

A perspective that is just about optimization will fail to see why these deeply-rooted connections matter to people’s quality of life. It is ultimately the same logic underlying gentrification and condo development in Vancouver, and it is worrisome to see given how much the Rotunda area has meant to me and other students at SFU.

Printed books far better than e-book counterparts

0

WEB-Books better than eBooks-Vaikunthe Banerjee

By Max Hill
Photos by Vaikunthe Banerjee

I’m not against technology. I’m a self-described Apple nerd, and the internet has long served as my third — and easily most irresponsible — parent. But the rising popularity of e-books, and the resulting downward spiral of the print and audiobook market, is not a welcome change to yours truly. The fact is, e-books will never hold a candle to the printed word, no matter how much information you can fit on their hard drives.

The bound book has been around since long before Gutenberg’s printing press. In fact, no one quite knows how old books are, most scholars seem to agree on India as the starting point, but not on a specific date. Religious sutras were the subject of these early bound editions.

Buddhist monks, who would painstakingly copy each and every word by hand, spread religious texts throughout modern-day Asia, and soon, bound books began showing up in Mesoamerica and Ancient Egypt.

Though most books aren’t handwritten anymore, they still retain an air of delicacy and acredness that seems passed on from this humble origin. Their smell is unmistakable; a quick visit to any used bookstore in the Greater Vancouver area will confirm that. The musky, nostalgic aroma of a much-loved book is often as unique as its contents.

Books also have a certain weight that becomes familiar over the course of a reading session. My copy of War and Peace has a weight that seems as impressive as its epic wartime fable, whereas Of Mice and Men’s 110 pages fit perfectly inside coat pockets and on top of nightstands.

Bound books also have numerous logical advantages. They are easy to resell, they don’t have batteries to recharge or warranties to keep track of, and they are relatively inexpensive and portable. They also don’t have backlights, which have a tendency to irritate eyes and stave off sleepiness.

Above all, though, print books are tangible. My own collection takes up the entire Northeastern corner of my room, with each one connected to a time and place — a specific memory of when and where I read them. They’re collectible, beautiful, and real. The elegance of a bookshelf can never be replicated by a collection of files on a tiny, book-shaped computer.

Make no mistake, e-books are here to stay: their growth in popularity and prevalence is not only a sign of the perseverance of literature, but also a clear affirmation that the new generation will surely be doing as much, if not more, reading on computers as they do on paper. Recently, a small town in Texas announced plans to open North America’s first electronic-only library — the times, they are a-changin.’

With all of this said, I’m confident that the rising tide of e-books and electronic readers, like Kindles and iPads, don’t mean the end of print books. There’s no reason the two can’t live in harmony. After all, books go out of print, and many with vision problems or learning disabilities might find electronic readers less intimidating than the usual micro-print fare.

Fortunately, books still have a place in as many hearts as they do in living rooms, and that isn’t about to change anytime soon.

Opening up the political bedroom

0

By Estefania Duran

Adultery is something that is generally considered wrong, however, even in a democracy — where more is expected from our elected representatives — it goes by unnoticed or quickly fades away. I am dumbfounded that society chooses to forgive politicians who cheat on their loved ones so easily. If we know it to be wrong, why do we pardon it?

The argument I often hear is that their personal lives should be kept separate, and that we have no business with what happens in our politicians’ bedrooms. As lovely as privacy sounds, we should care about such incidents and demand more from our representatives.
So why should we be concerned if they are being unfaithful?

Something vital for people to understand is that politicians are elected into their positions. Unlike CEOs or managers, they have been voted into the position to act as representatives of their constituents. Therefore, it is only natural that we expect more from them, since their actions not only affect them and their workplace, but us as well.

As public figures with power, morals and values should be present in every decision they make, be it private or public. When politicians decide to break the unwritten moral rules or values, they have to remember they are the representative face of the community, the province, or the country; their embarrassment affects everyone, and diminishes the value of their moral code.

It is very important to note that an unfaithful politician might still be a very bright person with a lot to offer. However, not questioning their judgment and how it can affect their position is an error on our behalf. As voters, we should be concerned with their ability to make good judgment calls and their capability of measuring consequences.

It may be true that not all cheating politicians will go on to make bigger mistakes, but this is a chance voters should not have to deal with. The higher the office they run for, the higher the expectations are. Therefore, when politicians decide to run, they do so fully aware of such expectations. Demanding they have good judgment should not be so far fetched.

When someone runs for office — be it provincial, municipal, or federal — they have usually worked most of their lives towards this goal. It requires a lot of time and dedication, so when we elect representatives, we do so thinking this is a position they respect. If politicians commit adultery with the awareness that such act might bring the loss of their office, it demonstrates a lack of good judgment and disregard for the position.

Take for instance Sweden’s PM Fredrik Reinfeldt, who recently got a divorce. He explained his marriage was no longer working, and though there may be people who do not agree with divorce, I am sure everyone would rather see a relationship come to an end maturely. This is not to say he would have cheated otherwise, but he had the courage to admit his relationship was no longer working, and can continue serving his people free of scandal.

We are all human, and mistakes do happen. With that said, every action has a consequence, and no one is free of them. As politicians, the consequences of their actions are higher. We should not judge their character, or whether they are evil or not for cheating; however, we should definitely evaluate their judgment and make them accountable for their actions.

It’s vital for society to question the kind of risk framework that politicians who are unfaithful have. For a person in a position of power, the ability of calculating risk is one of the important skills for their job. For that reason precisely their actions should make us wonder about the decisions and risk calculations they are going to make when they affect us most.

Keeping to the middle is not always wise

0

July 1 2013 copy

By Ben Buckley
Photos by Ben Buckley

Here’s a hypothetical scenario for you. Three people named A, B and C are talking. Person A says, “The sky is blue.” Person B says, “You’re wrong! I know for a fact that the sky is yellow!” Person C steps in and says, “Guys, guys, let’s be calm and rational about this! Let’s just compromise and agree that the sky is green.” Do you see what’s wrong with this picture?

The answer: Any statement that’s halfway between true and false isn’t “kind of” true, it’s just false. But often, well-meaning people — including journalists — attempt to avoid controversy on an issue by presenting a moderate point of view, somewhere between two or more extremes.

Before I go on, I will make a few distinctions. Sometimes, there is a good reason not to come down firmly on one side of an issue; if a person doesn’t know enough to make a decision on some issue, then it’s perfectly legitimate to avoid allying with any side. This would be like Person C in our scenario saying, “I haven’t looked closely at the sky or read the scientific literature on the subject, so I’m going to avoid getting into this discussion for now.”

It’s also legitimate, when writing about a controversial subject, to attempt to describe the various positions from a neutral point of view in order to inform the audience rather than persuade them. An example relating to our previous scenarios would be: “Out of all those surveyed, 50 per cent claim that the sky is blue, and 50 per cent claim that the sky is yellow.”

What I am criticizing is the idea that, if a person takes a position somewhere between the extremes of some debate, then they have somehow transcended the need to base their position in facts. Sometimes, the best position in a controversy really does lie “between” the other positions. The middle ground is still a position, as open to criticism as any other, and needs to be based in facts and reason. You cannot defend a belief purely on the basis that it’s inoffensive.

If your goal is to have beliefs that do not offend, you are doomed to failure. To be honest, I don’t find words like “extremist” or “moderate” to be very meaningful. At best, they’re only useful relative to a particular time and place. If you believe the Earth revolves around the sun, that slavery is bad, and that women should have the right to vote, one could argue that you’re already an extreme heliocentrist, abolitionist, and suffragist, whether you realize it or not.

Your worldview could offend countless people throughout history, and in some parts of the world today. I’m not saying this to argue in favour of moral relativism: quite the opposite, in fact. When you have good reason to believe that something is true or good, you should say it without diluting it in order to look more moderate. After all, what would you believe if you were only a moderate abolitionist? That slavery is only sometimes bad?

Neutrality has its place in journalism, but it’s important to remember the real world doesn’t contain any actual “neutral” facts. What’s true is true, no matter how popular or unpopular the truth may be.

SFU institute arrests youth violence

0

WEB-Youth Violence-Vaikunthe Banerjee

SFU’s newly finalized Institute for Reduction of Youth Violence hopes to challenge the status quo by fostering multidisciplinary research while influencing the decisions of Canadian legislators. Directed by Robert McMahon, psychology professor at SFU, the institute is ultimately focused on “finding better ways to prevent and treat conduct problems in children and youth.”

Mental Health America defines conduct disorder as “a repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in children and adolescents in which the rights of others or basic social rules are violated.” Behaviors characteristic of conduct disorder include aggression, such as bullying or fighting, deliberate destruction of others’ property, deceitfulness, theft, and refusal to follow rules.

“Theres no one single risk factor for conduct problems,” explained McMahon. “It’s very clear that for some kids, it’s more nurture than other influences, but for other kids it’s clear that there might also be some kind of temperamental disposition. And it’s almost always a mixture of nature and nurture. The earlier you can intervene with these kids, the more likely you are to be successful.”

The institute, to be located at SFU’s Burnaby campus, will be funded by a $250,000 grant from the Canadian Foundation for Innovation (CFI). According to the CFI website, the grant “allows researchers to push the boundaries of knowledge, explore the unknown and generate exciting outcomes that benefit humankind. It helps institutions attract, retain and train the top researchers from around the globe and fosters collaboration . . . across many disciplines.”

This collaboration is just what McMahon had in mind when he agreed to direct the institute. He hopes that the institute will bring together international researchers with diverse expertise who will further examine the prevention, treatment, and understanding of conduct disorders.

“There are plenty of other disciplines that have important things to contribute,” said McMahon. “And I think there could be a lot of value added by pooling our knowledge . . . [we need to listen to] people who are looking at genetics, epidemiology, education, and economics, not just the clinical psychologists.”

Although McMahon acknowledges that much of the research done in the States on conduct disorders is applicable to the Canadian context, he feels that a Canadian solution is more likely to emerge with data taken from a Canadian population.

“We’re a very multicultural society, and there is a tremendous number of youth who are in rural or isolated areas where there has been much less research done,” said McMahon. “Therefore, I think it’s important to focus on Canadian needs and the needs of kids in BC and their families.”

McMahon’s ultimate goal for the Institute, apart from being a leader in developing integrated studies and effective interventions, transverses into the political realm. “We need to play a role in influencing social policy,” stated McMahon. “We need to make sure legislators know, at all different levels, what is effective and what is ineffective.”

‘Therapy puppies’ to start using electroshock treatment on students

0

electrodog

VANCOUVER — Over the past few years during exam times at SFU, self-proclaimed “stressed-out” students have been treated to visits from service-dogs in training from the Pacific Assistance Dog Society to relieve them of their anxieties.

Although students have enjoyed the visits, having their worries temporarily taken away by a quick belly-rub, the puppies from the program are apparently displeased that they’re not having a long-term impact.

“These are the service dogs of tomorrow but they’re trying to make real change today,” explained Kathy Griswold, a trainer for the dogs. “Our puppies aren’t just about being cute and cuddly for a quarter-hour, they want to make real differences in people’s lives.”

According to Griswold, the puppies will no longer just be a passing comfort to student during their visits, but have decided to begin using electroshock therapy in order to hopefully cure exam stressed students for good.

“Some of our dogs have made several trips to SFU this year and have been working with the exact same students who are still just as stressed out by their tests,” Griswold continued, “They came to the realization that obviously ear-scratches and nose-licks just aren’t cutting it when it comes to lasting behavioral changes.”

Therefore instead of enabling the students and allowing them to go on being stressed after a few pats, the dogs will be outfitting any students who come for a quick snuggle with shock-collars in hopes that they can zap the irrational test-anxieties out of them.

The new form of ‘puppy electro-therapy’ has stirred up a number of opinions from faculty and students, ranging from those who think it’s a terrible idea and those who only think it’s a pretty terrible idea.

“Normally, I would say that electroshock therapy isn’t appropriate for test-anxiety and has been proven to do more harm than good,” reacted Dr. Marvin Karl, an SFU psychology professor, “but it seems alright when a puppy is doing it, I mean, they’re just so adorable . . .”

Sophomore psychology student, Tom Griffenheart, on the other hand, is less impressed, saying “No, I don’t think it’s adorable at all . . . it’s insane. I’m all for electroshock therapy, it’s a proven method, but we can’t trust puppies. We need to leave that kind of thing to adult dogs, with real experience in animal to human therapy.”

While the puppies are confident that the shock treatments will yield positive results, the PADC has stated that the new system will be introduced slowly and that students can still expect to play with the puppies a little bit, in between electrically induced seizures at least.

And while the puppies might not be strong believers in their old techniques, apparently some human therapists have been utilizing some of their methods, with at least two incidence of face-licking reported at local psychiatric offices in the past two months.

Despite the popularity of ‘classic puppy therapy,’ the new system will start taking effect during the dogs next visit to SFU.

Amidst all the scrutiny, the puppies hope they’ll be still be able to brighten the days of over a hundred SFU students just like they did before. Unlike before though, they also hope to have less repeat visitors every time they come up, a goal that few are doubting they won’t achieve.