An Ode To TransLink

TransLink You suck Angry bus drivers Get fucked I understand your job is arduous and hard But you are not Columbus, Magellan, Picard Why can’t the bus come on time? Why does a...

How I manage my curly hair

If you are a godforsaken soul with curly hair like myself, you know that managing these gigantic semi-sentient mop creatures can be a real...

Topical pumpkin carving ideas for Halloween 2016

A stranger the other day informed me that we were past the midpoint of October. To this, I said nothing. Because my mamma told...

A practical guide to selling your soul

So you've decided to sell your soul! Perhaps you're drowning in student debt, want to buy yourself something pretty, or simply see no use...

SFU Contagion

The following are excerpts from one fearless investigative journalist, who risked their personal well-being to bring the truth to public attention. Their research began...

Halloween costumes to terrify the SFU Student

Halloween is just around the corner, so one might find themselves looking for a costume to terrify, tantalize, and titillate the average SFU student....

A day in the life of a killer clown

5:30 a.m. I awake, startled. The rampant thumping of my heart is hard against my chest. I clutch the collar of my ragged T-shirt,...

How to die first in a horror film in 10 easy steps

By: Vincent Justin Mitra, Peak Associat Let's say you find yourself inside a horror movie. I know, right? So annoying! There's the fear, the shouting,...