Horoscopes: July 26–August 1

By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor ARIES: You might think ordering one of the many different kinds of fruity Starbucks Refreshers is a good idea, but...

The Simpsons predicted my death

By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor So there I was, scrolling through Disney+ for literally anything to watch, when I stumbled upon The Simpsons. I had...

Four infamous tweets that should be made into feature films

By: Emma Best, SFU Student You’ve heard of movies based on books, plays, TV shows, and even other movies — but what about a movie...

Top five things to do on campus when in-person classes are back

By: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate  Walk as fast as humanly possible past AQ promoters so they don’t approach you  You did this before COVID-19 hit,...

Top Ten Simon Fraser University name alternatives

By: Craig Allan, SFU Student  Skunk Forest University We need to come up with a new name for the school’s athletics department anyway, so why...

The roommate that will change your life

By: Nancy La, Staff Writer   Congratulations! You’ve finally secured a basement for rent at a small price of $2,500 a month. Of course, adulting is...

Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: July 19–23

By: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate  ARIES: After a great workout, you’ll (rightfully) choose a homemade smoothie over Tim Hortons. But I sense that your non-existent...

The disastrous consequences of Hot Girl Summer

By: A concerned ecologist Look, I get it. You've had the whole lockdown to work on your "glow up," and now that vaccines are rolling out and...

SFU Student Updates: July 12–18

By: Carter Hemion, Staff Writer   Key Updates   Welcoming services at all campuses In order to properly address our concerns about institutional issues at SFU, students will now...

A taxonomy of professorship

By: Amrit Randhawa, SFU Student   The Non-Animus: In the realm of professing, our first species, the Non-Animus, gives the least fucks. Ancient philosophers theorized that human...