Horoscopes: February 7–11

By: Hannah Kazemi, SFU Student, Future-Seer Aries Change is in your future! Consider ordering a bowl instead of a burrito the next time you’re at Chicotle (formerly...

Horoscopes: January 31–February 6

By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor and cosmological animal whisperer ARIES:  How does it feel to always be first on every single horoscope? Everyone looks at your horoscope...

SFUnexplained: SHOCKING STINKY TRUTHS in the sixth floor AQ

By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer My name is Dr. Gregory “Sniffers” Martin (57 at the time of writing) and I’m here with SHOCKING news about...

Comic

Top Ten worst movies of all time

By: Tamanna T., Staff Writer 1. Licorice Pizza A movie revolving around a couple that has nothing to do with licorice or pizza is bound to be a...

Comics

Horoscopes January 24–28

By: Sara Brinkac, Star-whisperer in training ARIES: One day this semester — when you least expect it — a tall dark stranger will come to you...

The incidence of umbrella-under-awning attacks is increasing

By: Luke Faulks, staff writer A 2012 study by the Australian Monash University suggested that around 20 people in the area are hospitalized for umbrella-related injuries...

Phrases to sound like you’ve done your reading

By: Tammy T., Staff writer Whenever a new semester starts, most of us swear to stay on top of our courses and do our readings...

Horoscopes January 17–21

By: Sara Brinkac, Cosmic mailman ARIES: Sorry I haven’t gotten out of retrograde. I accidentally had caffeinated tea at 8:00 p.m. last night and my orbital...