Hallmark presents: Love on the Mountaintop

By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor and an executive producer with Hallmark  MAGGIE BENSTON CENTRE - REGISTRAR SERVICES DESK  SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY  HOLLY is conversing with REGISTRAR OFFICE...

The Clausgate Scandal: How Big Beverage tried to cancel Christmas

By: Zainab Salam, Reporter in Hiding  By the time the headline “Santa Claus Hates Everyone” ricocheted across the internet and news outlets, the world had...

Grandma got run over (more like splashed so badly that she fell flat on her face) by a reindeer!

By: Heidi Kwok, Staff Writer A 92-year-old grandmother was swept off her feet earlier this morning by what bystanders initially identified as a rogue reindeer...

Comic: It’s coming on Christmas . . .

Photography/creative geniusesness: Jack Baron (Contributor), Katie Walkley (Peak Associate), Mason Mattu (Humour Editor)  

The dialectic nature of brunch as a form of resistance in a post-constructivist, Maoist, anti-rhizomatic context, as prescribed by bottomless Buddy Burgers

By: Mason Mattu, Critical Brunch Scholar  Acknowledgements: Thank you to A&W Canada for sponsoring this delicious research paper. You can buy a Buddy Burger for...

The Peak makes record-breaking sales after adding 43 variants of their editions, including the ultra-fan-favourite: Rare glitter edition

By: Veronica Richards, SFU Student Why read the news when you could collect it? The Peak is coming off the press with 43 new variants...

I give a guy a chance . . . and look what happened

By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Diva I just got back from a date, and . . . wow. There might be a lot of fish in...

How long will Carney’s government last? We asked a tea leaf reader

By: Ashi, Multiverse 538.10.1.4’s top-grossing divinator  How long will this government survive? Read on to find out! Remember to follow my TikTok for exclusive digital...

Hey kid, how do I get to the Lorne Davies Complex?

By: Sasha Rubick, SFU Student It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday, cloudy, and campus is deserted. The commuter students fled home yesterday, and the Burnaby...

Horoscopes are back

By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate Aries (March 21–April 19) Go lay in grandma’s lap, tough guy. You deserve it. If you don’t have a grandma, any...