Local guy definitely going to go out and hit on girls . . . tomorrow

Humour EIC - 0
BURNABY — According to sources, university student Jordan Pitre is unwavering in his belief that tomorrow will “definitely” be the day that he hits...
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‘National Geographic’ to follow Playboy into energy drink market

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  NEW YORK — Taking the logical next step for a magazine company facing the decline of print media, National Geographic has announced that they...
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Happy Surrey family shocked to discover their neighbour lives in “the ghetto”

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SURREY — Despite living within six feet of him for the past seven years, a local middle-class family from a nice, normal neighbourhood has...
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Vegan hospitalized after potential ingestion of trace amounts of egg

Humour EIC - 2
VANCOUVER — A distraught vegan was submitted to Vancouver General Hospital last week claiming to be “tainted.” Zach Whitney, a 27-year-old vegan man, checked himself...
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Obama challenges Assad to game of basketball for control of Syria

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WASHINGTON — After watching Space Jam with his daughters Malia and Sasha over this past weekend, President Barack Obama made a public challenge to...
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SFU Quidditch team torments “nerds” from SFU Wizard’s Chess Club

Humour EIC - 0
BURNABY— One of SFU’s newest clubs, the “Wizard’s Chess Club,” a club based on probably the most unimaginative activities of the Harry Potter world,...
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Ex-Grammar Nazi discovered living in Argentina

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BUENOS AIRES — Despite being believed by many to be long dead, a former “grammar nazi” has been found to be living in a...
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LGBTQ to expand to twelve letters by 2016

Humour EIC - 1
NEW YORK — LGBTQ, the initialism which currently encompasses those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning, is set to increase its...
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Hatman and Falcon: Introducing Atlas

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Ugandans lend hand to combat American obesity epidemic

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YKAMPALA — In an effort to raise awareness about the rising rate of obesity in America, citizens of Uganda are showing solidarity by refraining...
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society