Little-known Meanings Behind Well-known Nicknames

Shakuntala Devi, “The Human Calculator” Why she's called this: Despite her impressive math skills, Devi actually earned this nickname due primarily to her uncanny ability to...

Amateur comedian joins Twitter in search of larger indifferent audience

YOUR REGION — After toying with the idea for quite some time, a local amateur comic has finally decided to join the popular social...

Newspaper industry “probably going to be okay” reports newspaper CEO

VANCOUVER—  As a result of technological innovations and the general advancement of time, the newspaper industry has hit hard times from which it may...

Suicide rates increase due to super high rope prices

PONTIAC, MI — Suicide rates are on the rise thanks to the increasingly expensive cost of rope experts reported last week. According to new...

“Flash Paintball” shockingly much more destructive than standard “Flash Mob”

VANCOUVER — Police were called to a home in east Vancouver today after receiving several calls from nearby residents who described a “massive gunfight”...

Rapper rumoured to have penned new album in which he discusses his superior merits

NEW YORK — Exciting news emerged last weekend as an iMessage leak revealed information on the subject matter of a popular gangsta-rapper’s not-yet-released album....

Local jogger apprehended after running from police

VANCOUVER — A man was brought into custody early this morning after running past a police squad car, and therefore clearly guilty of some...

Student knows he could quit video games if he wanted to

SHELL HOUSE — Jeremy Johnson, a second-year student at Simon Fraser University could quit video games anytime, like any time . . . if...

Roommate swears he should have more beers left in fridge

THE TOWNHOUSES — SFU student, Bill Ryan, told reporters Monday that he strongly believes he should have more beers left in his fridge. His claim...

Midterm literally destroys student

BLUSSON HALL — With midterm season well underway for most of SFU’s undergraduate population, many students are feeling the pressure of looming exam dates....