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Premature baby permanently banned from baseball for steroid use

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ST. LOUIS — According to a press release from Major League Baseball, a prematurely born baby has been permanently banned from playing the sport...
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New $4.4 million SFU observatory set to monitor construction of new $4.4 trillion Rigel 6 satellite campus

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BURNABY — SFU’s long discussed and fully supported $4.4 trillion Rigel 6 satellite campus, which was officially announced last week, is set to be...
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Become a PQ Superstud

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Listen, every guy wants to be a stud and pick up ladies (unless he’s happily married, gay, asexual, or is just trying to watch...
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The Craziest, Most Outrageous, Most Surprising, Best, Worst and Average Countdown Lists of the Year 2013

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Oh boy, what a crazy year 2013 was for year-in-review countdown lists! There were just so many ridiculous, crazy countdown shows and magazine articles...
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Winter Safety Tips

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If there’s one season that really wreaks havoc on SFU, it’s winter. Spring, summer and fall usually pass by without too much of a...
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Funny Page Recaps

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Plot updates for all the most popular syndicated comic strips we can’t afford to publish.   Adam@home: Adam spent time with his family and didn’t leave his...
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“Deranged mountain man” publicly executed after “stealing Christmas”

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WHOVILLE — The man who was believed to be responsible for having literally stolen Christmas from the quiet mountain town of Whoville was allegedly...
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Street performer struggling to juggle career and seven chainsaws

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GRANVILLE ISLAND— A local street performer who has spent the last five years of his life putting in over 60 hours a week working...
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Mental Alopecia #1

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Due to popularity of Movember, entire Gregorian Calendar changed to reflect hair-growth

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TORONTO — Thanks to the overwhelming popularity of the recently instated month of Movember, massive reforms are on the way to ensure that the...
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024