Humour
Autopsy Report: Your basic white dad
November 11, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Coroner The following is a transcription of a voice recording from a mortician’s autopsy. Testing, testing. OK, time is 8:14 a.m. on Saturday, October 14, 2017. Name of deceased: Doug Graves. Location of death — uhh — the daughter, Abigail, said she realized something was wrong after her dad hadn’t left the bathroom for 9 hours. How did she not realize before? Well, anyway. Location: Their…
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SCARY STORIES: Vampire spotted at the Bennett Library
November 11, 2025By: Gurnoor Jhajj, SFU Student and Mason Mattu, Humour Editor It all went down before a history midterm, on the sixth floor of the library. I was going over my notes, double-fisting two coffees and an energy drink, when I…
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BEEDIE BRO: Ghosts, goblins, ghouls, and great investment opportunities
November 11, 2025By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, Entrepreneur Yes, I still go trick-or-treating, just not for the candy. What a lot of people without the Beedie mindset don’t realize is that Halloween is the perfect networking opportunity. See, while everyone else is going door…
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I HATE YOU. UNSINCERLY, YOUR LAPTOP’S KEYBOARD
November 11, 2025By: Veronica Richards, SFU Student Every day, I curse that I was born as a plebeian laptop keyboard! If only I could’ve been a bougie mechanical with 18 different components and satisfying clicky sounds . . . (click, click, click).…
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SFUnexplained: What’s hiding behind the surface of the reflecting pond?
November 11, 2025By: Sasha Rubick, SFU Student It’s easy to disregard the SFU reflecting pond when you walk past it every day. But here at The Peak, we wear tin foil hats to pitch meetings and curate evidence boards. That’s how real…
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The Convocation Games
November 11, 2025By: Tribute from District Academia The day the reaping email arrived, the clouds over Burnaby brooded deeper than usual. A message was broadcast to every graduating student from the registrar’s office: “Each graduate shall receive two tickets for the ceremony.…
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A Peak through the archives: Judging past humour pieces
November 11, 2025By: Heidi Kwok, Humour Expert Did you know that The Peak wasn’t always funny? Gasp, you say. Oh, but it’s true. It wasn’t until the first humour section, “Nifty Pages,” graced us with its presence on January 12, 1998, that…
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Two songs that played as a soundtrack to my embarrassing life
November 11, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Diva Dear Diary, I can’t lie, life has been wild recently. I don’t know what’s going on with the universe — I think Mercury is definitely in retrograde. Either that, or the universe has developed a…
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My journey infiltrating the country of Islam
November 11, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Sand Excavator Mission report: Desert Day 1 Subject: Bringing Civilization™ to the so-called Orient. “Girl, we going to Islam?” That is what I asked my adjutant upon dismounting the camel. He nodded gravely. Neither of us knew…
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