By: Heidi Kwok, Staff Writer
Looking for an easy-breezy course for this upcoming summer semester? Tired of traditional midterms and research papers? Or maybe you’re just looking for a way to kill time after failing to secure a co-op in this abysmal job market. Either way, we’ve got just the right electives for you. Check out the following classes that are impossible to fail.
RAC 101: How to Train Your Raccoon (3)
An introduction to theories, research, and hands-on practical approaches behind taming and domesticating North American suburbs’ most elusive creature: the raccoon. Students will learn diplomatic negotiation tactics, including mastering the art of the cheese and sausage tax. This course will also focus on wildlife hypnosis methods, neighbourhood-specific raccoon calls, and dumpster-diving techniques. To foster intercultural understanding, there will be a mandatory two-day field trip in which students will spend a night in a recycling depot to better understand a raccoon’s natural habitat. Further emphasis will be placed on establishing fairytale-like friendships as depicted in animated Disney princess movies. Prerequisite: Proof of rabies vaccination (the student’s, not the trash panda’s) and a bottomless supply of bandages to deal with any consequences.
HIST 232: Problems in Modern Cheese History (3)
Gouda, brie, paneer, Parmigiano Reggiano. What do all these iconic cheeses have in common? Their exact origins remain hidden and fiercely contested among the world’s premier cheestorians. This course will examine major historical debates concerning the lineage of global cheese family trees, beginning from 8,000 BCE to the present. Students will investigate dairy milking, curdling, and preservation techniques ranging from ancient Egypt to modern, labour-intensive mozzarella farming necessary in cultivating dollar slice New York pizzas. Experts will be brought in to educate students on the delicate practice of cheese tasting. There will be a final examination requiring students to identify 100 cheeses while blindfolded.
BUS 463: Entrepreneurship Opportunities Amidst the Climate Crisis (4)
This advanced seminar will expose future business leaders to lucrative monetization opportunities in a warming world ravaged by extreme weather, inequality, and conflict. Following the frameworks of billionaires like Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates, students will learn to leverage strategic profitability models from increasing flooding, heatwaves, wildfires, famine, and more. Topics include marketing branded pollution-free air in neat glass bottles, subscription-based private firefighting services, and luxury nuclear bunker real estate advertising. A capstone project will focus on wooing politicians through lobbying and bribery initiatives to maximize shareholder value. Corequisite: BUS 363: Navigating Environmental and Labour Regulations (and Loopholes) with a P grade.
GEOG 319: The Geography of Tap Dancing (3)
Examine the spatial fix of tap dance across the US and beyond. Lectures will explore how percussive footwork travels through space, mapping the click-clacking sounds of tappers from hardwood studio floors to concrete subway platforms. Students will be treated to a special screening of the award-winning film Happy Feet to analyze the geocultural dissemination of the step dance phenomenon among Antarctic penguin populations. A group-based project will require students to perform the entire discography of Wicked through a capella tap dancing.
