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Fondness for my Chromebook (After Siaara Freeman)

Humour
Peak Web
Peak Web
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PHOTO: Kaboompics.com / Pexels

By: C Icart, Humour Editor

Oh, Chromebook. I heard you’ve restarted unexpectedly . . . again

And that’s OK. I’m not annoyed! 

I love restoring all my previous apps

It’s one of the many things I love about you 

I love that you don’t work unless you’re plugged into the wall

It doesn’t make you a needy bitch at all

I love taking you off life support 

In my head, it causes you to say the same phrase I do every time you prove your uselessness to me 

“I’m dead.”

 

I love that four tabs open at once seems to be your limit

Don’t listen to the others; four is a big number

I love that you are seemingly allergic to every Wi-Fi network to ever exist

Putting in the Wi-Fi password three times before you connect is our little fucking ritual, and it makes me feel so fucking connected to you 

The only way I could be more connected with you is if you let me swiftly connect my fist to your screen, over and over and over again

 

I want to take you out every night

With a baseball bat — No, sorry, on a date

To the smash room 

Where I could show you what RAM really means 

.

.

.

With a baseball bat

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By: Heidi Kwok, Staff Writer On November 15, community members gathered at the Hilton Vancouver Metrotown as the City of Burnaby offered a formal apology for its historic discrimination against people of Chinese descent. This included policies that deprived them of employment and business opportunities. The “goals of these actions was exclusion,” Burnaby mayor Mike Hurley said.  “Today, we shine a light on the historic wrongs and systemic racism perpetuated by Burnaby’s municipal government and elected officials between 1892 and 1947, and commit to ensuring that this dark period of our city’s history is never repeated,” he stated. “I’ll say that again, because it’s important — never repeated.” The earliest recorded Chinese settlers arrived in Nuu-chah-nulth territory (known colonially as Nootka Sound) in 1788 from southern China’s...

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024