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Fondness for my Chromebook (After Siaara Freeman)

Humour
Peak Web
Peak Web
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PHOTO: Kaboompics.com / Pexels

By: C Icart, Humour Editor

Oh, Chromebook. I heard you’ve restarted unexpectedly . . . again

And that’s OK. I’m not annoyed! 

I love restoring all my previous apps

It’s one of the many things I love about you 

I love that you don’t work unless you’re plugged into the wall

It doesn’t make you a needy bitch at all

I love taking you off life support 

In my head, it causes you to say the same phrase I do every time you prove your uselessness to me 

“I’m dead.”

 

I love that four tabs open at once seems to be your limit

Don’t listen to the others; four is a big number

I love that you are seemingly allergic to every Wi-Fi network to ever exist

Putting in the Wi-Fi password three times before you connect is our little fucking ritual, and it makes me feel so fucking connected to you 

The only way I could be more connected with you is if you let me swiftly connect my fist to your screen, over and over and over again

 

I want to take you out every night

With a baseball bat — No, sorry, on a date

To the smash room 

Where I could show you what RAM really means 

.

.

.

With a baseball bat

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society