What happened to McFogg the Dog?

A formal investigation into the conspiracies surrounding McFogg’s new life

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McFogg the Dog as a dj. He’s wearing headphones and using turntables.
ILLUSTRATION: Alyssa Umbal / The Peak

By: Mahla Rae, SFU student

Many know about SFU’s loss of the beloved mascot McFogg the Dog. It’s often controversially referred to as a harder loss than the dissolution of our own football team. But what happened to McFogg after he left SFU? What path did he go down? What is he doing today? A critical investigation launched into these questions, and the conspiracies about McFogg’s current whereabouts leave us with more questions than we began with. 

A dive into recent McFogg sightings resulted in a number of students reporting to have seen him in the past month. McFogg was spotted at more than one Vancouver nightclub as “McFogg the Dawg,” an up-and-coming artist and DJ. However, follow-ups on these reports have proven to be inconsistent, with some students saying his sets hit hard and others saying they would rather listen to an A&W playlist. 

From another of these alleged sightings, McFogg was seen stumbling through the woods surrounding SFU, often barking and yelling at raccoons. In one instance a student recalled what they could only assume to be McFogg shouting, “You don’t scare me, you masked garbage thief,” followed by the sound of “aggressive” bagpipe playing. If you’re out there, McFogg, we hope you’re okay. 

Other rumours say that McFogg ran into UBC’s Thunderbird at a yearly mascot convention, and something sparked between them. A few students supporting this rumour claim that after a lot of work on their relationship, McFogg is now a stay-at-home dad supporting the Thunderbird’s career and raising their McChicks. These rumours have caused controversy, with many students dismissing them as mere speculations considering McFogg’s long-lasting rivalry with the Thunderbird. One anonymous fifth-year psych student agreed, saying the “enemies to lovers” trope is far too “basic” for our McFogg. 

The last of the reports indicate that after his time at SFU, McFogg left the country entirely to become a scholar. These reports came from mascots around the world mentioning sightings of him at their schools. They believe that after leaving SFU, McFogg became consumed with revenge and spite for the title-based pride of the academics after years of being taken as a joke. It’s said he used this spite as fuel and struck out to earn the highest titles at the most prestigious schools. Handsome Dan, the bulldog of Yale University, claims that not only is McFogg there currently earning his doctorate in philosophy, but that they have become close confidants and have a weekly pickleball match. Other sources say Handsome is lying for popularity, citing that bulldogs are notoriously bad at pickleball and Handsome has been referred to as a “pathological liar” in the past. These sources have requested to remain anonymous. 

This search for McFogg, and for answers, concludes with indefinite possibilities. When it comes to McFogg the Dog no source is truly trustable, as many would say just about anything to claim to know or even just have met him. McFogg is a man of many talents and no scenario is truly impossible for him to end up in. Wherever you are McFogg, we love you, we miss you, and we won’t stop searching until we find you. 

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