By: Yasmin Vejs Simsek, Staff Writer

Aries:

You will find all the unique Vancouver events and hidden speakeasies and your friends will all wonder how you do it. You can’t help it! You’re always the first to discover where it’s at. You’re the life of the party. Maybe you should focus on being the life of your studies?

Taurus:

The summer for Taurus will be a horrible time . . . for their wallet! You’re destined to be a big spender this summer, whether that’s spending hours in Hudson’s Bay or that weekly massage you think is an essential part of your budget. Remember, there’s another semester in the fall that needs sponsoring — tuition hikes don’t slow down for you.

Gemini:

Gemini is, as always, far too busy for their own good. Your FOMO is real. After all, you’re juggling schoolwork, a few part-time jobs, constantly bumping into Oprah Winfrey, and trying to make friends with the bears around campus. This circus act makes you a chameleon; you’re adaptable and charismatic. Isn’t it time people saw the real you? Maybe not.

Cancer:

You’ve had a tough 2022 so far and this manifests itself in your need to protect yourself emotionally this summer. Self-care and improvement are all swell, but try and crank open that emotional clamshell, Cancer! You’ll reap the pearl of your treasure: friendship! Open up to new people and new opportunities and you could have yourself a hot vaxxed summer.

Leo:

This is Leo’s summer, according to themselves, at least. You’ll be strutting down the well-ventilated Convocation Mall in your off-brand Lululemon while your friends are filming you flossing for TikTok. The mobile spotlight is on you and you live for it. Remember, stay safe while socializing! Wouldn’t want to be a #2020in-flu-encer. 

Virgo:

The Virgo’s summer is a time to work hard in order to play hard. You just seem to forget the play hard part. Let down your hair a little and get a Starbucks iced frappuccino. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect, some things just have to be fun. Like a hike. Everyone in Vancouver is always talking about hiking. Bring water though, the heatwave will arrive soon . . . 

Libra:

Ever the peacemaker, your summer will be spent trying to achieve balance in your friendship groups. You take on the role of mediator — even when you have absolutely nothing to do with the issue. Spend your summer trusting that everything will work itself out with or without you. In other words: Butt out!

Scorpio:

The Scorpio spends their summer obsessing over small things. Whether you’re formatting your essay or the perfect revenge, it’ll takes days, sometimes weeks, of your time. As the star seer’s spiritual icon, Elsa said, “Let it Go,” your time could be better spent. Perhaps people watching at Wreck Beach? Maybe it’s time to be a little less diabolical and a little more human. 

Sagittarius:

Oh, Sagittarius. You don’t need to hide your feelings behind the woods, you know? We know you’re independent and don’t need no one to join you. Who needs friends when you have Insta-worthy selfies to take?! It’s bear season though, so maybe you should cut back on the sarcasm and bring a friend and bear spray. Don’t go chasing waterfalls, chase feelings instead.

Capricorn:

A pessimist at heart, the Capricorn is upset about autumn before summer has even started. You love your own company, but there is no “I” in summer. The weather is beautiful so grab a friend and enjoy a socially-distant Vancouver in the sun. And don’t worry, summer will come around again next year, too, but only if you smile for once (just not if a man tells you to).

Aquarius:

The summer is unpredictable for the Aquarius. Always going with the flow, you let other people plan your summer and it’s bound to be great because your friends are awesome. But if there’s something you actually really want to do, get off your backside and plan it. Your dream of singing Under the Sea with a crab isn’t gonna plan itself.

Pisces:

People rely on you, Pisces. You are a good friend and always listen to your friend’s problems. There are lots of them this time of year, especially with your fellow Pisces friends who are busy fueling themselves with tears of summer enrollment. You seem to forget that you can also be an emotional wreck that needs some TLC. Self-care is important, boo, put on some Taylor Swift and cry it out.