Recently the Internet was set a-blaze by people claiming that Starbucks is ruining Christmas: instead of using coffee cups that previously boasted festive symbols like snowmen and all of those reindeer games, patrons wishing to guzzle impossibly-sugary beverages have had to do so out of plain red cups, which are bare except for the company’s signature siren logo. Starbucks claims this was done to “usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all of our stories,” but some people are fuming that this is an attempt to rid the Christmas season of the central Christmas component. Sound a little like another green-furred, conniving individual we all know?
Here are six things that both The Grinch and the humbug CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz, have in common.
1. Their facial expressions: Both have a wicked grin that simply screams, “I’m up to something.” Only Schultz’s schemes revolve around charging more than $5 for a cup of coffee.
2. Both sit atop a high peak, where no one else can reach them: The Grinch hangs out on a literal mountain, but for Starbucks it’s a business mountain that’s built upon ludicrous profits and caffeine addictions. Both mountains are equally lonely.
3. They both tried to take on Christmas, but were thwarted by a small, vocal population: A.k.a. the Whos and Starbucks regulars, both with their high-pitched shrills and group mentality.
5. Both have hearts two sizes too small: This is already common knowledge about The Grinch, but it’s got to be true about Schultz. Who else would condone the discontinuation of Starbucks’ oat fudge bars?
6. Neither was prepared for the immediate reaction they received when taking away Christmas: The Whos all came together for a big ol’ carolling, while Christian customers began a social media crusade. Therefore, protests in animated films from 1966 > protests in real-life 2015.
8. In the end, neither really succeeded in destroying Christmas: Because the holiday is an all-consuming goliath of consumerism that won’t stop until we’re all broke and/or dead.
SMH :/